I swallowed and walked over to take a seat next to Lucas.
What do I do? I don't want to go back to that apartment. I can't ask my family for help. I've asked too much from Anna... and... HE isn't an option.
I nodded to myself and looked over at him, pulling my legs up on the couch, and crossing them so I could face him.
"So... If I'm to stay here, seeing as I doubt you're going to give me much of a choice at this point, and I have... no other real options... where do I sleep?" Hesitatingly, I reached over and placed my hand on his knee. I was waiting for him to smack it away, it's what I'm used to but, he covered my hand with his own and squeezed gently.
What am I doing?
He's... letting me touch him?
I wanted to keep soaking his warmth. I had never been allowed to be affectionate with someone before and while I was terrified, I focused on the warmth flowing from his rough, coarse hands. It was calming, grounding me to the reality I had just walked into.
"Well. This is a four-bedroom house. I live here alone. So we have my room, which is the master, the office that Dad kept and I use for school, which leaves 2 bedrooms open to you. So you can pick whatever you like. One used to be Jace's and one used to be mine. Come on. Let me give you the grand tour," he softly squeezed my hand and stood up pulling me to my feet before wrapping his arm around my waist.
I sighed happily and smiled before leaning into his touch and guiding me up the flight upstairs.
Pushing open the first door on his left, he smiled down at me, "Okay, this is my room," he chewed on his lip nervously.
I couldn't hold in the laugh that fell from my throat, a foreign sound to me. The room screamed "Lucas" in every way I could have imagined just based on the little information I had managed to gather so far. Car posters on the walls, a model of his Mustang on the dresser, dark green sheets underneath a pitch-black comforter on the king-sized bed. The room smelled of sandalwood and the forest with an underlining scent of motor oil. I couldn't place that last one but I ignored it. It blended well with the other scents in the room.
I walked further into the room, avoiding the clothes that littered the floor.
I think I'll have to take of him more than he thinks.
I kicked at the clothes while looking around the room, my eyes landing on a few photos on his bookshelf.
Picking up the first photo, I stared at it, "Luca, is this your family?" In the photo, there was a dark-haired man holding a small dark-haired baby. Next to the man was a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman, her hand resting on the top of a blonde child's head a smile spread wide across the boy's face.
He came up behind me, his hand falling on my waist as he used his other hand to reach past me and caressed the frame, "Uh, yeah. Those are my parents, Marie and Stephen, the baby is Jace and that's me."
A small smile formed on my lips and I put the photo back, grabbing the one next to it, "You were a cute kid. Is this your graduation?"
"No. It's Jace's actually. He graduated early and went off to college at 16. I uh... I have my GED," embarrassment filled his voice.
That's nothing to be ashamed of.
At least you finished.
"I don't even have that," I whispered quietly, squeezing the picture frame slightly.
The last photo confused me. It was definitely an older Lucas and Jace, but the adults next to them weren't his parents, "Who?" I picked it up and looked closer.
"That's Shana and Dex. My godparents. Dex and my dad go way back. Oh and that's Joelle," Lucas pointed over my shoulder at the most beautiful strawberry-blonde teenage girl I had ever seen.
Her hair was long and curly, and her eyes were caramel. She was ethereal.
"She looks like a goddess," I sighed, pointing at Joelle.
"Okay well, let me say 2 things. One, please don't ever tell her that if you meet her. It'll go to her head and two, I hope you don't find her more attractive than me," Lucas' tone was incredibly serious, a small pout forming on his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.
I smiled and leaned back into his touch. He squeezed me, and I could hear him gulp. Turning to look up at his face, I saw that his cheeks were bright red, making his freckles more pronounced.
He was beautiful, in the manliest sense of the word I could find.
I let him pull me from the room.
"Come on Addi, let's find you a room," he cleared his throat, lacing his fingers with mine.
He pulled me further down the hallway, and Lucas pointed at a door, "This is the office. If you need to use the computer it's in there. I have a laptop but I use the big one for school."
Reaching the end of the hallway we came to the last two rooms, "On the left is Jace's. On the right is my old room. You pick," Lucas smiled.
I looked at each door before opening the one on the left. His brother's room.
Books littered every surface, and a few whiteboards covered in poems and math equations were on the walls. "What... is all this? You didn't bother to clean or erase anything?" I looked over at Lucas, my head tilting to the side.
"Hey, I may look big and tough, but my brother is a moose. A big, muscular nerd. 17 and 6 foot 6. Can't take him down. So when he threatened me if I touched his stuff, I took him seriously," Lucas finished his eyes flicking around the room, "Come on, let's go see the better brother's room," he laughed, pulling me from Jace's room and opening his old bedroom.
I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my lips. Except for different pictures and bedding, there were posters and model cars all over the place, "Lucas... this is exactly the same as your current room... so if you're still okay with it, I think that I'll stay in here," I stared at the ground, wringing my hands together.
He reached out and softly raised my face up by my chin, a gentle look on his face, "Yeah, okay cool. You wanna go to your "not your" place and get your stuff?" he asked me innocently.
Fuck... I didn't want to admit this...
"Oh. Well. All I have is this," I trembled, reaching in my pocket to pull out my phone, charger, wallet, and the small diary I carried around.
"What about clothes and all that?"
"Yeah.... uh.... no I don't have those. My ex kept everything when I left his house and I wasn't able to replace it."
Admitting that was harder than I expected. I was ashamed. It was my fault. All that happened with my ex was my fault. So of course I was in this spot.
Lucas reached out and wrapped me in his arms, "Okay, okay. It's okay. Can you try and trust me when I say that?" He shifted and softly pressed his lips to the top of my head.
I froze and sniffled, but I nodded slowly, my voice was caught in my throat. Honest kindness wasn't something I had ever experienced, and I couldn't respond to him.
"We don't have to talk about any of that right now okay? Let's get you some food," he released me and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the room and down the stairs.
A few minutes later, he handed me a ham and cheese sandwich. Taking a big bite, I looked over at Lucas.
"Um... Thanks. Hey so, can I ask you a question?" I cleared my throat.
"Yeah, 'course," Lucas smiled at me again, too bright, too powerful, too kind.
"Why are you being so nice to me? You don't even know me and now you want me to move in here. This is brand new to me, kindness. I'm just really not sure why you would bother," my curiosity got the better of me, and I stared over at him.
"I told you. I've taken a liking to you," he shrugged.
Irritating.
"You know that's not what I mean," a sharpness filled my voice, and I tossed my sandwich down, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Yeah, I know. Look. You seem amazing. Attractive, funny, and smart, but I can tell that no one has ever cared for you as they should. Trust me when I tell you, I know the signs. I just want to give you the chance I wasn't able to have Addi. Just a chance to make something of yourself. I'm just a mechanic and a part-time college student. Even if you only stay here a little while, I want you to know what it's like to be cared for. That good people do exist," Lucas looked down at his feet.
Shock.
Confusion.
I could feel my throat close, and tears started to spill down my face, "Lucas... no one..." I managed to choke out.
"Adrian! Addi no, no tears, I'm so sorry! I didn't want to make you cry I was just being honest," Lucas mumbled, closing the distance between us and he slowly wiped the tears from my cheeks.
I finally looked up into the forest green eyes staring at me in concern. I didn't like people seeing me weak, so I just shoved the sadness down like he had done so many times before.
In this moment of weakness, I threw my arms around his neck, staring at him.
"Are you gonna kiss me now?" he cleared his throat, "your eyes remind me of the sea after a storm..." he whispered staring down at me.
I looked at him and boldly pulled him down, pressing my lips against his cheek, "Hm.... no. I'm gonna go ahead and take a shower and go to sleep. Good night," I giggled and walked out of the room.
As I was walking away Lucas yelled after me, "You really need to get a better hold on your emotions. Ya know I'm really confused now Addi! Also goodnight!"
I laughed and headed upstairs to use the shower.
I finally found the bathroom next to the office, behind a door that I hadn't noticed earlier. Stepping into the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. Sighing softly I turned the shower on and undressed, doing everything in my power to avoid seeing myself in the mirror. I don't want to see that.
After finally finding the towels in a small closet in the bathroom, I stepped into the shower.
A low hiss escaped my lips as I finally relaxed. It had been a long time since I had experienced the warmth of a shower. I leaned forward and pressed my head against the cool tile, letting the hot water stream down my spine. It took a while to fully relax so I could wash.
I ran my hands through my hair and thought back through the night I had had.
Lucas was the kindest, most attractive person I had ever seen and everything about him aroused me to a point that I was starting to lose control. The thought of Lucas was flooding my mind, and I had to fight down the moan that was threatening to escape from my throat.
Fuck.
I'm so turned on.
So hard.
I moved my hand down my body to the source of my discomfort and groaned. I couldn't control the idea of Lucas filling me, teasing me, and I was thrown over the edge quicker and harder than I had ever experienced. Sighing softly, I leaned against the shower wall.
Fuck..... This is wrong.
I slowly came down from the climax and finished showering. My stomach fluttered and my legs shook as I finally wrapped a towel around my waist.
Gathering my clothes from the floor I looked towards Lucas' room and saw that the light was on.
I want to see him.
No.
Go to bed.
I plodded off to my room, and opened the door, noticing that the sheets on this bed had been changed to match the ones in Lucas' room, and sitting on the bed was a bag full of clothes.
Walking over quickly, I opened the bag, a smile on my face when I realized that it was stuffed full of old clothes that Lucas had to have outgrown or decided he didn't want anymore. I reached in and found a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old t-shirt I really liked. I was excited until I realized I didn't have clean boxers and socks. Deciding to ignore that, I pulled the pants and shirt on, hugging myself once I was dressed.
It's nice to feel clean again.
Turning back to the bed, I grabbed the bag of new to-me clothes and poured them out. Crawling onto the bed, I started folding the clothes into nice piles. I started singing softly and started taking better notes of my new room. It was so sickeningly Lucas and I adore it.
I didn't want to scare Lucas away, so I decided to take the advice that Lucas had shouted after me: I would work on controlling my emotions. Looking towards the door, I noticed that a drawer in the dresser was slightly open. I slowly got to my feet and walked over to it wondering why I hadn't noticed it in the first place and as soon as I looked in the drawer, I let out a laugh.
Lucas had placed 12 new sets of socks and a whole pack of boxers into the dresser. I don't know if he knew I needed them, but I won't complain. I pulled out a clean pair of boxers and slid the pants off so I could change.
This is so much better. Who needs pants?
I finally moved back to the bed and finished folding the clothes, noticing that they all smelled like Lucas: musty, outdoorsy, and then there was an underlining smell of motor oil. As soon as I was able to put the clothes into the dresser in the room, I crawled into bed, leaving the light on and closing my eyes. Darkness had always been overwhelming, regardless of how inviting Lucas' home was.
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