Slowly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to Lucas' cheek. I'm never this bold, I was never allowed to be affectionate with anyone before and this new feeling of comfort that Lucas emanated was something that I didn't realize I was craving until this moment.
Lucas sat there in shock, confused by the sudden change. The warmth that grew between us was hard to ignore. He turned to look up at me and softly put his hands on either side of my face.
He leaned forward until our lips just gently brushed against each other.
Whoa... his lips are so soft.
I started to pull back but then decided against it. No one had ever been this slow with me before. I decided to lean a little more into the kiss, a clumsy attempt to show Lucas that it was okay, the kisses are allowed. Slowly, I climbed into Lucas' lap, straddling him, and resumed kissing him, the kisses slowly growing deeper, hungrier. His hands slid from my face, and as he wrapped his arms around my waist, he squeezed tightly almost possessively.
He tastes good... his breath is so hot...
I finally broke away and pressed my forehead against Lucas', "I...I think we should slow down," my breaths came out sharp, panting.
"I... I understand but please just listen to me for a second," his green eyes shining in the small light of the kitchen, lust tinged with sadness easy to read on his face, "Look I'm not gonna offer you somewhere to stay, get my chance with you, and then throw you out. Addi, I want you. I want you to stay here. I want to treat you right. Look if you're not ready, I understand, just please don't assume that this is all I want from you. I know that we just met, and I know this is fast okay? I'm not an idiot. But this kind of thing has never happened to me before. I don't let people in. So please attempt to believe what I'm telling you," he softly caressed my back closing his eyes.
"Lucas... I don't think this is all you want from me, but I will get attached way too quickly like I'm already starting to get and you will just push me away like everyone else," I climbed out of Lucas' lap and started to walk away, wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to at least feel some comfort when I suddenly felt his large hand fall on my shoulder. I spun around and looked up at Lucas, the warmth returning to my face as he placed his hands on my cheeks.
"I am not like that! Don’t make assumptions about me, Adrian!" Lucas snapped.
Stop it.
Don't do that.
Be quiet.
Shut up.
Shut up.
SHUT UP.
"Don't yell at me!" my voice shook as I shoved at Lucas’ chest in an effort to get him to back up. "Please. I can't..... I don't do well with raised voices. If you want to talk then talk okay? Just don't yell."
He lowered his eyes, and after taking a deep breath, his gaze returned to mine and he let out a soft sigh, resting his hands at my sides, "I want to help you. This day I have spent with you is one of the best days that I have ever had. Addi, please. I am so sorry that I scared you. But please don't treat me like this. You don't know me well enough yet and I don't know you. But we have all the time in the world. I will never stop trying to learn about you and I will do everything I can to protect you okay? All I am asking is that you do your best to not give up on me. I know it's a huge thing to ask. But if it is the one thing I ask of you then please know I mean it. Don't give up on me. I want to show you that not everyone is the same," Lucas begged me, his green eyes swimming with tears.
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