from some corner of my mind. Pig? Is that my name?
Within there was a voice similar to my own. I felt as though I opened my eyes but could not see. I suppose I am within myself? Space? Psyche? World?
(You are pig because you are the half in comparison to our other souls, the more dominant side. The side born to this world which is about to die.) Die? Why is it about to die? I felt so confused by this. If I am a pig born to this world, why do I feel as though I am from another?
And why is this world dying?
(Pig, you are curious. A good and bad thing. But I will explain. We are four souls fused into one. Our first life was of a guardian who had failed its duty and was forced to suffer by being chained and secluded for over a hundred galaxy years. Our life after that was a luck child whose death was extremely tragic. We were used by those we thought loved us before being handed to the wolf clan to be tortured and sacrificed. Our purpose was to be a stepping stone for the heroine but the world core could not accept this and well… our third life we were another luck child except that within that life we had been born to a loving family. Our failure was our marriage, unwilling to accept a man who was no longer pure.)
Was it because in the beginning he said those sweet nothings in my ears, and I believed? Or was it because I had been blindly in love that I had no desire to have him marred by another female? Even though we all know the events, we are unable to understand that self in that life. Somehow, we gave up on life at forty-two years of age. This is our fifth life. The pig. This body is still alive but barely, with a soul that has been damaged because of the guardian’s sudden presence.) I was stunned. So it really was a total of five lives. Five? No, it should be four, right? The voice that sounded like me could no longer be heard.
With the voice gone, I found myself focusing. My mind seemed to twist for a moment as the familiar pain of the body fully woke me up.
There was a shaking that made me all too aware that this world was truly dying just like the voice had said.
{rumble}
The strange sound reached my ears soon after. I wanted to think further, but the memories resumed.
It hurt so badly that I wanted to howl.
Howl?
The memories flashed at a more rapid pace. My mind became unstable, forcing blood to flow from my nose, ears, and mouth. Pain. Pain. Pain!
It hurts so much because of these images.
Suddenly I wanted to wail. I wanted to continue living in denial.
‘Because I failed once? The duty… I failed?’ I asked, unable to know if I spoke from my mouth or mind. Bowing my
head, I imagined I was clenching my fist tightly while I tried my hardest to comprehend everything.
I smiled at myself. This was not a smile where I felt happy but self-hate. I hated my first life for being clueless.
Unable to see the true face of those who held so much maliciousness for me. I had given them my trust, love, and care.
Haha.
What did I receive?
I hated my second life for also being clueless, but also for hurting someone who did not deserve it.
The second life where I had… where I had loved him with my soul, heart, and once we were married, my body. What did I get?
I raised his wild child. Forced to love it because it was a child I could never have, a child who grew to be filial to me.
My heart hurts now thinking of the child who grew into a young man and died because of me. The husband? I scorned him my entire life, but it had all been a lie.
The friend and sister I trusted most in that world were—all a lie!
Was my life not like some dog blood book?
Was it not similar to those books I had loved to read?
Am I not pitiful?
When a story is told, it always begins like this; “There once was a...”
Once is always within…
Until recently—where everyone had a quirky beginning to draw their readers. I lay here and wonder if my story is to cover some heroine. If I should just continue taking the abuse.
I mean, I want a happy ending too. It does not have to be traditional, but I want it to be. I am sick and tired of the abuse; deceived over and over. Tired to the point I want to reach out to death and beg him to take me.
My duty is to protect these things that hate me so much, but I grow tired. Is this life a story as well?
For me to be a stepping stone for the heroine and the hero? I had no desire to bother with this. The pig can deal with them.
I forced that original part to step fully forward. Slinking in the back to try and process the confusion I now felt.
Nay, it is simply too much. The information must be processed.
When next I opened my eyes, I was greeted with the damp earth. Blood dripped from my wound, and I was swinging from a tree. How did I even get here? Was I not just among my kind taking the abuse?
Suddenly there was a low howl, the scent entering my nose was of a wolf. I shivered. Fear snaked up my spine to drill into my hearts.
How I ended up like this, is unknown. All I knew is: wolves are not friends with pigs. Yet I felt that in one of my lives I had been a wolf, not truly, but one, nonetheless.
Struggling to free myself, I bent my body in half and used my sharp nails to cut the vine. After trying for some time, I was finally free. Falling, I landed on my back with a thump that knocked the wind from my body. The wounds that had already partially healed seemed to have been split by that blow, causing me to release a pained squeal. Shaking my head, I ignored that. The pain before had been much worse this is nothing.
After convincing myself, I scrambled to my feet, preparing to run away.
After a few failed efforts, I finally stood unsteadily upright and ran. As I moved, I heard the low snarl of wolves, the slight reeking of blood and then the howl. It seemed closer. My nose flared, while my ears twitched from fear, the tail was tucked between my legs. The instincts of a pig.
For Lu Joaker, after having failed her duty as a universal guardian, she was punished to live as a mortal- a being without fur or fangs. She was punished for being a failure, stripped of all her merit.
She, who before had been a being who guarded a universe, was demoted to become ... Hyena, human, pig, wolf...
Tortured.
Warped until her true self was lost and she became a being that she looked down upon. Forced to struggle with the need to keep her nature in check while protecting herself from those who wished to crush her underfoot. Paired with that, she must also decide if she wants the males who constantly hunt her down, torture her or simply use them to help alleivate her rapidly rising heat.
Unfortunately, things don't go as Lu Joaker wishes which leads to tragic consequences.
Follow Lu Joaker on her first journey becoming dire alpha and attempting to claim her mates while protecting her kind.
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Note: this is a dark reverse harem fantasy novel and book 1 of a 3 book series
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