Mother used to sing me a song…a tuneless, chanting mutter:
There be no sound in the deep blue sea.
There be no light in the dark.
They fools gone
Crazy dancing, they no hearing our soundless song.
I didn’t understand it then, but I wish I had.
***
People in the village used to laugh and point at her…whispering behind their hands at her pale silver hair and her light blue eyes. The same hair and eyes that I shared.
“She came from the sea,” they said. “The crazy woman who lives in the shack on the cliff.”
It seemed that mother had only learned how to speak words snatched from the odd sailor passing by. She’d mutter these stolen words into my ears every night while we stood on the beach, watching the waves lap the sand like curling white tongues…as if the sea was trying to eat us…to take us back.
“Isa, remember…sea ain’t friends. Sea is danger.”
Till the day she died, Mother had not allowed even my toes into the deep, dark mystery that had been her home. Nor did she ever let me see when she slipped into its cold blue embrace even though I did suspect it now and then.
She died when I was eight and then a stranger came to the shack on the cliff.
Reluctantly calling himself ‘Father,’ he took me away from the sand…away from the rushing sound of waves on the shore. He claimed he was a gentleman who had had an improper moment. A lapse. A spot on a slate that had once been clean. Beguiled by my mother’s soundless song as she swayed under the moonlight, he’d had
And so, I learned what it meant to be the daughter of a proper gentleman. I learned a proper human sound…a language filled with words like ‘demure’ and ‘obedient’. Learning such things did not stop the village whispers, but my father’s glares and his wealth made them less loud at the least.
Years passed blankly as I hung between boredom and self-preservation, shuttered away from the deep blue. When my eighteenth natal day finally came, Father came to the annex house where I lived only to say that I would be debuted and then engaged.
I merely nodded my head, the perfect picture of a demure and obedient daughter. Yet, my fists hid in the voluminous skirts that covered my legs, in the clothes that concealed a wooden hoop cage.
Perhaps he had expected a different reaction, for Father put his hands on my shoulders. His fingers curled into my silver hair as I turned my head to the side, but he grabbed my chin, glaring down into my blue eyes that were so unlike his own. I flinched under his stare.
“After all these years, have you nothing to say to me, Isabella?”
“Thank you for your care, Father,” I responded, gently detaching myself to make a proper curtsy. “I am very grateful.”
“As you should. Although the Duke is a bit older than you, you’ll live like a queen for he commands a great fief containing many riches. After the ball, you’ll board a ship to Angara.”
A ship to Angara? I thought.
“Yes Father,” I said.
My mind raced. A ship to Angara.
“As it is the last time I’ll see you before the ball, is there anything you might require?”
The sea, my heart whispered. The deep blue sea.
“No Father,” I replied, lowering my eyes. “I want for nothing.”
***
“You look very pretty tonight, Milady!” gushed the maid as she put the finishing touches on my hair accessories. “Like moonlight. The Duke will be enchanted!”
“Enough! Make haste. Escort Milady to the main house’s ballroom,” frowned the nanny.
The maid took my gloved hand to help me up. I rose to my feet, carrying the heavy weight of layered silk. I had to admit that the gown looked well on me with its silver lace and blue silk bodice. The off- shoulder neckline showcased my pale skin, and the silver flowers and vines made it appear as if I had stepped from a moonlit garden and into the ballroom.
“Ah…She’s here,” smiled Father tightly, letting me know that my tardiness was punishable. However, the smile he turned on the Duke was perfectly genial: “Your Grace, I present you my daughter, Isabella de Mar.”
I flinched then…Even after all these years, Father had used ‘de Mar,’ a name that only applied to illegitimate children born in the seaside counties as opposed to the ‘de Plein” of the lowland prairie, or the ‘de Mont’ of the high country. I wondered if it was the slip of a nervous tongue, for he had done himself no favours by drawing attention to my miserable origins.
Steeling my heart, I made my curtsy, but did not raise my eyes.
Displeased, the Duke jerked my chin up, his rings scraping my skin as he appraised me. Hair more salt than pepper, and eyes like a hawk, he had a tall, hooked nose that made his expression hard with contempt and cruelty.
“Ah yes…your natural daughter…” he smiled into a growing and awkward silence. “A pleasure, Lady Isabelle,” said the Duke, making it clear that my name did not matter to him.
The man who called himself my father, swallowed. As if he had not expected this censure, he faltered, shrivelling in upon himself. Had he concealed
Though I took no pleasure in it, I wondered where his sly confidence had gone.
“Your Grace, I am very honoured by your presence,” I said, trying to smooth over my father’s mistake. Though my chin was still held fast in his grasp, I dared not meet those eyes again. Fortunately, the fingers relaxed.
“Charming,” the Duke remarked, causing more than one corner of the room to relax. The tension evaporated as if it had never been. “I’ll have your first dance, my dear.”
“As you wish, your Grace.”
Now that a claim had been staked, there was no further need for courtesy, and he lost interest immediately.
Relieved, I could only move like a wooden doll as Father took my arm and showed me off to society. I felt multiple eyes take in my silver hair, my blue eyes. Faces soon merged and blurred. I smiled mechanically at the
When I thought I could tolerate it no more, I caught the sound of something long forgotten. Somewhere, at the edge of the room, just out of my reach, a man’s voice broke through:
“…And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music…”
I jerked my head, nearly pulling my father off balance. The words tugged at me just below consciousness. Though they were not the same as my mother’s, my heart thundered.
Father
Crazy dancing. They no hearing our soundless song.
“I apologize,” Father said, smiling at his guests. “Isabella has always been a sickly girl. It seems it is time that she retire…”
His fingers dug painfully into my wrist as he dragged me towards the doors. Grasping at any excuse to prevent my departure, I reminded him of the Duke.
“Father. My first dance…his Grace…” I begged.
“Oh…Oh yes, indeed. You did well to remind me…” he sighed distractedly. Waving a hand at the group of musicians, he hurried me to my partner, happy to hand over the burden.
I hated the Duke’s smile as he took my hand. Though there was no escape, my skin rebelled. It crawled as I danced with him.
“Pray excuse me,” said a voice at the Duke’s elbow, breaking through my disgust.
“Anguine, my good man, you have startled me,” chuckled the Duke, unlocking me from his embrace. “Have you come to admire my prize?”
“I have come to steal her away, your Grace,” murmured the deep voice in response. “…For a dance,” he added after a deliberate pause.
“How bold of you,” the Duke snickered, looking bored.
“Indeed.”
Smooth and edged with humour, the resonant voice made me look up and my gaze collided with the sea blue eyes of a dark-haired man. Finely dressed and coiffed, his long hair was tied back with a blue silk ribbon that matched his velvet coat…and my dress.
He is handsome, I thought to myself. No, that is the wrong word…he is beautiful.
The stranger’s blue eyes twinkled with amusement as I gaped at him, my mind going blank.
“Well girl, introduce yourself,” the Duke snorted impatiently. “Or must I do even this for you?”
“No need…” laughed the man the Duke had called ‘Anguine.’ The deep blue eyes drilled into mine. “Will you not dance with me, Milady…?”
Though I knew not why, I placed my hand in his…and found it warm.
Strangely beguiled, the Duke allowed Anguine to sweep me onto the dance floor and towards the direction of the terrace.
“Do not look so surprised, my dear,” he chuckled. “The Duke is of a weak mind. Thus, he is no match for one of the sea-kind.”
“You! It was you…” I gasped, confirming my suspicions. “It was your voice I heard…speaking the song of the sea…”
“So it was,” he agreed softly, as we followed the steps, whirling between couples, drifting further and further away from the Duke. “
His smile was gentle and affectionate, but his bold words raked across my senses, lighting my skin on fire with astonishment and discomfort.
“Sir, your manner of speech is too forward…I am very much engaged!” I protested, tugging way from him.
He immediately released me from his arms, but with a look that could only be deemed sorrowful. Gesturing to the terrace, he gave me a meaningful glance. Only once I had followed him outside, did he say:
“Forgive me as I am in haste. Listen carefully. On the morrow, you will cross to Angara by sea. Should you wish to know more of your mother, then you must come to me when I call. If you wish to abandon your birthright, then I cannot stop you, but promise me that you will at least consider it, my Princess.”
This last bit was said in a
I did not question his address, still too stunned by his words. Overwhelmed with confusion and a sudden greed for answers, I could find no immediate answer. The voice in my heart that had been silent these many years had burst forth with a yearning so fierce it could not be described.
In truth, I did not fear him as I had feared the Duke, and he was the first person to have allowed that I might have thoughts of my own. Deeply moved, I dared to hope.
Yet
“It is too sudden, Sir,” I whispered. “Can you not explain my mother’s circumstances more clearly?”
“My Princess, you belong with me, with the sea… For now, I can only say that a whole world is awaiting your return.”
My limbs froze as he knelt before me and grasped my hands, bringing them to his forehead, tickling my skin with his warm breath. Ignoring my shocked exclamation, he nuzzled his cheek into my palm, and then kissed the centre of it.
Unused to such overt courting, I shivered, feeling hot and cold all at once.
“Isa, on the morrow, you need only dive in, and I will protect you with my life,” he said gravely. “You have
And with that, he rose to his feet and was gone, leaving me in silent uproar on the night-stained terrace.
***
Sea ain’t friends. Sea is danger.
My mother’s warning echoed in my head.
Why had she tried so hard to protect me? What had caused her to abandon the sea only to wither away on land?
But married away to a rich stranger…was this truly better than those unknown things hidden beneath the waves? Was I brave enough to seek the answer?
Fearful that I’d find out through an errant splash of sea water, I covered what I could until I was safely on the ship, well away from the swell of blue and white.
“My dear, the breeze is cool,” said the Duke with false affection, dropping his cloak around my shoulder as I stood on the deck, watching goods being stowed in preparation for departure. “Do not stand too long above, for you will catch ill.”
I was not stirred by this pretence of care, put on solely for his men. I only heard the warning in his words, telling me to get myself below. Much like the cargo, I was to be stowed. I nodded my head, as was expected of me, and descended into the dark of the decks below.
“When will you come for me?” I asked the darkness, not expecting an answer.
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