I was already home when I realized I’d forgotten my sweater and small baggie of rainbow candies gifted to me by a drag queen that I couldn’t turn down (probably because I was slightly high) at Josh’s house. At least, I hoped I had, because once I was done tearing my car apart I knew they weren’t anywhere immediately reachable. I texted Josh about it, but I didn’t get an immediate response, so instead I grabbed some breakfast and headed off to work, which involved driving a lot of hung-over gay people to or out of West Hollywood. My favorite customers were hung-over people, because they had passed the vomiting stage of fucked-upedness and had now reached the surly silent stage, which meant no small talk. One guy was so out of it I had to tell him about the cum stain on his shirt before he got out of the car. To his credit, he looked very embarrassed, which was unnecessary. Like I had any room to judge. Instead I told him to use cold water when washing it out. This messy bitch had been in his situation; I got it, I’d done that research.

            I’d wasted too much money on food and booze yesterday, so I worked until six, which is when I went home, nuked a bag of popcorn, and ate it for dinner as I settled down in bed and called Thad.

            “Hey there,” I said when he picked up. “Whatcha doin’ today?”

            “Workin’,” he replied. He’d barely been back in Alabama a few weeks and yet he’d already gotten a job stocking shelves at the closest Wal-Mart. Not glamorous, not something you’d catch me doing, but Thad could never sit around and twiddle his thumbs. He was only working twenty hours a week because he was hoping to get started at the local community college, but those classes wouldn’t start until fall.

            “Yeah? How was that?”

            “It ain’t bad. Kinda relaxin’, actually. You open a box, you unpack the box, you stock the shelf. Not much thinkin’ involved.”

            “Sounds thrilling.”

            “How was Pride yesterday?”

            “It was good. I didn’t get shitfaced and suck off a sweaty guy behind a Dumpster so I’d call that an improvement over two years ago.”

            “You really did that?”

            “I think I did. I honestly don’t remember it that well.”

            Thad chuckled. He sounded tired and not as perky as he usually was. “Maybe you’re gettin’ old.”

            “I missed you. I wished you’d been there.”

            “I dunno. I’m not sure that’s really my scene.”

            “It’s not just gay sluts publicly fucking. Kids are there. Most of it is pretty clean fun. It’s people like me who give it a bad name. Did you get the photo I sent you of my outfit?”

            “Yeah. It was very gay.”

            “I don’t have an ass and I’ve got chicken legs but I can rock a pair of short shorts when I want. If you were here, I probably would have put you in one of those leather chest harnesses the leather daddies wear. That’d be hot.”

            “Yeah, and get a sunburn like you wouldn’t believe.”

            “Not if I sensually lather you up with sunscreen behind a Dumpster.”

            Now Thad’s laugh sounded more genuine. “I guess I could go for it.”

            “How’s your grandma doing?”

            “She’s alright. She don’t feel good a lot of the time, but she’s stubborn and refuses to slow down. Her and Aunt Diane bicker a lot about it. Aunt Diane’s a nurse, so her instinct’s to tell her to get back into bed, and Nana don’t like hearin’ that much.”

            The way I understood it, Thad and his grandmother had moved into his great aunt Diane’s house, which was just down the street from the house they’d lived in a year prior. His grandmother had five siblings—two dead, three living, and she was closest to her sister Diane, who was ten years younger. If they were arguing, it meant that her illness was causing some tension in the house, which probably didn’t do much for Thad’s nerves, as he was the ultimate peacemaker. It could explain why he got a job so quickly after arriving.

            “Have you hung out with the rest of your family at all?”

            “A little bit. My dad somehow found out about my nana bein’ sick, but it was his wife who stopped by to talk. Couldn’t even do it himself.”

            “What a dick.”

            Thad sighed in aggravation. “I’d rather he just keep out of it, ya know? He never did want anythin’ to do with me or my family after breaking up with my mom, and now he’s got kids he actually likes, so why bother pretendin’ he cares? His wife is okay but she don’t know what to do with me so her visit felt awkward and forced. Don’t really blame her; I’m not her kid, after all.”

            “Have you heard from your mom?”

            “I think my nana’s been talkin’ to her, but when I ask her she claims she hasn’t spoken to her in months. I know that’s a lie, and it pisses me off. Like, what do you think is gonna happen if I know you been talkin’ to your daughter? Why would I be upset?”

            “She’s probably trying to protect you.”

            “From what? I’m not a kid. I can handle things.”

            Thad seemed upset, and I wasn’t sure what I could say or do to make it better when he was two thousand miles away. Ever since he’d gotten to Alabama, he spent at least ten minutes on the phone complaining about it, which was probably justified but at the same time, I wasn’t sure if his venting was making him feel any better. I understood that he wasn’t where he wanted to be. A few months ago he’d thought he’d be at college in UCLA right now, and instead he was back in his little hometown with a fractious family and a sick grandmother and a dad who didn’t give a shit. I’d be pissed, too. Still, I felt helpless.

            “Maybe I shouldn’t have come back here,” Thad said after a short silence. “I know why I did, but it’s all so depressin’, you know? I’m glad I get to help out my nana but I thought I’d gotten outta this place.”

            “Do you have any friends in town?”

            “A few, but they’ll be off to college in the fall. Funnily enough, one of them is going to college in California. Guess they’ll get around to it before I can.”

            “You’re doing the best you can, hon. If you’d stayed here and your grandma had gone back, you know you’d be regretting it. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and this time you spend with your grandma will be something you cherish later.”

            Thad took a deep breath. “You’re right. I know. I just… I’m frustrated, that’s all. And I miss Los Angeles. Nana sure don’t, and she tells me everyday how she’s not afraid to drive around here like she was in California. But I miss you, and I miss my friends, and I don’t fit in here at all. My Aunt Diane’s grandson—my cousin, I guess—asked me if I wanted to go boar hunting with him next week.”

            “Sounds like a real party.”

            “Honestly, the only thing I want to do less than shoot a pig is sit in a tree stand with that guy for two hours.”

            I chuckled. “Who knows, it could be homoerotic.”

            “I know you’re from LA and rednecks are exotic to you, but they’re mostly super annoying and definitely not homo anything.”

            “Mm, I’m imagining you up in a tree with a gun. It’s kinda hot.”

            Thad laughed. “Yeah, nothin’ hotter than sweatin’ my butt off in a tree stand and gettin’ sucked dry by every mosquito in a four-mile radius while Darren tells me what a bitch his baby mama is.”

            “Your cousin has a baby mama? How old is he?”

            “Twenty. He got his high school girlfriend pregnant at seventeen.”

            “Sounds like a winner. Is he cute?”

            Thad snorted. “He’s single if you’re interested. Hope you don’t mind a boyfriend that chews snuff and won’t shut up about his truck upgrades.”

            I held a hand to my mouth to stifle laughter. “Wow, talk about my type. You and I might have to break up.”

            “He’s the worst. He’s like every Alabama stereotype packaged, shipped, and delivered. He’s exactly the kind of son my dad woulda liked. Instead I ended up a weird nerd he can’t relate to.” I heard the crackle of breath in the microphone, then some shuffling. When Thad continued, his voice was slightly muffled. “You know what sucks the most about this? Beyond my Nana’s cancer, I mean. I can’t tell anyone about you. Like, if I was straight and you were a girl, I could gush about my Californian girlfriend and everyone would be proud of me or tease me or whatever. Instead I have to pretend like you’re just this good friend I made. In California, everyone knew what you were to me cuz I knew I could tell them. I feel isolated here. There’s no one I feel safe tellin’.”

              Because I’d always been clocked as gay, even as a kid, I wasn’t able to exist around homophobes with much success, so I couldn’t exactly relate to Thad’s predicament. But I could empathize, and I wanted him to gush about me as much as I gushed about him. I’d always wanted cool in-laws, someone to step in and be the family I’d always wanted. I wasn’t sure I’d call Thad’s grandmother “cool”, but she was a nice lady and always treated me with kindness. I just wished I knew whether or not she’d treat me the same way if she knew I was gay.

            “You can’t tell any of your old high school friends?”

            “I could.” He didn’t sound thrilled about the prospect. “They’d probably be fine, but I’m not sure we hang out enough to make it worth the effort.”

            I wasn’t sure what to tell him, because navigating delicate social situations was not my forte. It sucked that his grandmother had cancer and it sucked that he had to go back to a place he disliked so that he could help take care of her. It also sucked that I was here and he was there, and so far our only intimacy had involved some light flirtation and conversation over the phone. I needed to be more aggressive about it because I’d taken on that role in this relationship, but I also didn’t want to send him a dick pic while he was at a doctor’s office receiving shitty news. Did Thad even like dick pics? My other boyfriends had been into it, but Thad’s sex drive and tastes were a little harder to pin down.

            “Well,” I began, ready to face down the barrel of the gun, “would some dirty talk help you feel better at all?”

            Thad laughed. “What, like… for real? How does that even work?”

            “I tell you to take your cock out, you tell me how good it feels, and we exchange utter nonsense until you orgasm. Pretty easy to figure out.”

            I couldn’t see his face, but I would bet Thad was blushing, based on the awkward silence that followed. “Um, okay.”

            “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

            “You don’t think it’ll be, like, weird?”

            “Why would it be weird?”

            “The worst part of porn is having to listen to it, to be honest.”

            “Do you mute porn when you watch it?”

            “Sometimes, yeah.”

            I learned something new about Thad every day. “You are strange.”

            “It never annoys you?”

            “Not never, but usually it doesn’t, no. I’m not paying that much attention when I’m jacking off.”

            “Okay, okay, fine, maybe we can try. I gotta make sure that my nana and my aunt ain’t around to hear.” I heard a muffled thump, probably Thad dropping the phone as he left to make sure the coast was clear. He returned about twenty seconds later. “My aunt left and my nana’s sleepin’.”

            “Cool. Take your dick out.”

            “How am I supposed to hold up the phone and jerk off at the same time?”

            “You’re a bright boy, I think you can figure it out.”

            “You’re so mean to me,” Thad pouted, but I could hear him relaxing just a little, which seemed to be a positive. “Alright, I’m gonna lie down and just—shit! Hang on a sec.”

            “Put me on speaker.”

            “No way!”

            “Don’t you have earbuds?”

            “A lot of stuff in my room is still in boxes—okay, I figured it out. Let’s do this.”