Considering it was the first night back at work, it could have been worse. Bastian was aware that people knew about what he had done, but he wasn’t expecting to feel so observed and judged by every single person in the pub. 

He tried to tell himself it was just his imagination, but that didn't really make the evening easier to bear. 

“I’m sorry, but you had to see this coming, of course people stare at you”, a coworker told him at the end of the shift. “Everyone was talking about you yesterday.”

He wanted to reply that the only thing he expected, after attempting suicide, was to die, but he kept his mouth shut.

His first night back could have been worse, and in fact, it quickly became worse. He missed the last bus home and was left standing beside the road under the rain. The weather was constantly bad in Rainhill, but Bastian had a talent for forgetting his umbrella - mostly because whenever he stepped out the door for work, the skies happened to be clear. He couldn’t decide what was more annoying: the freezing raindrops soaking his clothes or the icy wind whipping his long hair into his eyes. 

He started walking across town toward his apartment. Shoving a hand into his pocket, he discovered that on top of missing the bus and forgetting his umbrella, he’d also left his cigarettes at home. 

Oh, for fuck’s sake

A voice called out through the rain: “Need a ride?”

A few feet away, a guy dressed in dark clothes stood under a streetlamp, holding a red umbrella. The stranger offered a soft smile, using his free hand to tuck a dark, curly lock of hair behind his ear. 

“Have we met before?” Bastian asked, perplexed.

“We had a conversation a while ago at the pub. Unless I’m confusing you with someone else? You’re Bastian, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you at first.”

It was a lie; Bastian didn’t remember him at all, but saying so felt unnecessarily rude. Besides, it was plausible he’d forgotten - he had brief exchanges with dozens of customers, and lately, his days were filled with memory blackouts.

He had no way of knowing the guy was lying, and that they had never spoken a word to each other before. 

“So, do you need a ride?”

“Oh, no, I can’t accept”, Bastian smiled embarrassed, shaking his head.

“Of course you can”,the stranger insisted, stepping closer and extending the umbrella over both of them. “Get under here before you catch something. Where do you live?” 

Bastian stiffened.

“Near the library...” Bastian replied, stepping under the umbrella lowering his head because of their height difference. The guy raised it a bit to accommodate him. Only then Bastian noticed the two piercings below the guy's lower lip and his freckled cheeks. He actually had a familiar face, and Bastian was pretty sure he was a regular customer lately but… he just could not recall a convo with him.

“That would be a long walk. Let me drive you there, I do it willingly, really.”

Normally, I wouldn’t have accepted a ride, but the only idea of walking for at least fifteen minutes after working for hours was driving him mad. During those heavy days, a bit of kindness was comforting.

“It’s very nice of you, thank you so much. I… I don’t remember your name, I’m sorry.”

“Asa Raven, but call me Revie.”

Asa’s car was parked at the end of the street and it looked very expensive. The interior of it was clean and smelled fresh. Revie turned the car on.

“Do you go to university?” Bastian asked. “I think I might have seen you around the campus, is that possible?”

“Visual arts, first year. We probably crossed paths there, yeah. Are you also studying there?”

“Yeah, Literature… I’m sorry if I’m repetitive, but thank you again, for real.”

“No problem”, Revie said smoothly, eyes fixed on the road ahead. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but… I know things haven't been easy for you lately, and I just wanted to be nice.”

Bastian froze on the seat, slowly processing those words.

“Woah. So everyone knows” he commented then, upset. He sighed, putting his hands on his knees. “You know what… I don’t need your pity. Can you please pull over?”

Revie didn’t stop driving, staying silent for a few seconds. Bastian was about to demand he stop the car again when Revie finally spoke. 

“I know what it’s like when everyone looks at you with pity, but no one has the guts to ask why you did it.”

He wasn’t expecting that response, so blunt and yet so calm. He stared at Revie, whose profile was illuminated by the passing streetlights. 

“I’m sorry”, was all Bastian could say, after half a minute of silence.

“For what?” It felt wrong how Revie could keep the calmest voice during a conversation that heavy. There was something comforting about him.

“That you understand” he said, “and for snapping.”

“Do you still want me to pull over? We’re almost at the library.”

“No.” He actually wanted to stay there.

“It must have been a rough night” Revie said. Insanely rough.

“It will get better once I’m home.” He sighed and smiled. He didn’t really believe that, but he didn’t want Revie to think he could try again. People wanted him to be positive, to feel better, to recover. No one wanted to hear that waking up every morning and realise he was still alive felt like a punishment. 

“Do you live on your own?”

“I do.”

“Me too. And home is the place where I spend the most time alone with myself and I’m the worst company I could possibly have. Especially during heavy days.”

Bastian wished those words weren’t so relatable.

“I have a dog. So, I’m technically never alone with myself.” He pushed away the memory of locking himself in the bathroom while Paulie scratched at the door. 

Revie offered a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up. I hope I didn’t upset you, Bastian.”

“You didn’t, don’t worry. I’m just sorry you can relate. But it’s also...”

“Nice to feel understood?”

“Yeah. It is.”

In the following minutes, they didn’t talk about it anymore. Bastian directed Revie through his neighborhood, as he was filling the quiet with light small talk.

How long have you worked at the pub?

How are your classes? 

What’s your dog’s name? 

He didn’t discover much about Revie, he didn't have enough time. He was curious, he couldn’t deny it. Revie was easily the most intriguing person he’d crossed paths with in a long time. 

“Thank you for the ride, Asa” he said, opening the car’s door.

“Wait”, Revie interrupted, reaching over to lightly catch Bastian’s forearm. “Take my umbrella with you, it’s still raining so bad.”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a bit of water.”

“If you borrow it, you’ll have to give it back” Revie said with a playful smirk, pulling the red umbrella from the backseat and offering it to him. “Which gives you a reason to talk to me again. If you want to, that is.” 

Bastian looked at the red umbrella, then back into Revie’s green eyes. He gently took it from his hand without saying a word.

“Good night, Bastian”, Revie said, looking at him leaving the car and opening the umbrella.

“Good night.”