The moment we arrived at Mayfair, we learned very quickly that this was no ordinary weekend for the mall. The parking lot was packed to the brim and there were more couples floating around, doing public couple things like holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes. Couples were a common sight at malls,  yes, but this was something else.  You'd think Mayfair transformed into some kind of heavenly plane with the couples floating across  a sea of white, puffy clouds instead of a laminated floor.

When I think back on it, that should have been a glaring red flag.

“Something going on here today?” I asked, looking around. “Looks like it is.”

Cam shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think malls did events anymore.”

“Looks like they still do. I’m sure we’ll stumble upon it eventually.”

Anyone else around could have easily mistaken us for one of those couples floating together around the mall. We weren’t holding hands, but we were standing close to one another, happy in each other’s presence. We were also doing the things other couples do when they are together – laughing at each other’s jokes, discussing random things, sharing that funny joke we heard on the internet the night before, among other things. 

It was nice to have a companion, if only for a little while. 

It’s a silly thing to complain about but going to the mall when it’s full of couples is kind of awkward when you’re always single - even when you aren’t looking for a relationship. Save for a few tries in high school and college I’ve never been lucky in love. Not that it bothered me – if there’s one thing my mother taught me, it’s that the people you love cut you the deepest. 

Dealing with her baggage was already hard enough. I didn’t want to add to my plate.

Also, I knew that I could never bring myself to try anything with Cam. As my only friend, he was a precious treasure that I would protect with my life. It wasn’t that I put him on a pedestal. I didn’t see him as some higher power or a god among men, but as a kind person full of compassion and unapologetically selfless. That’s why I never dared to have a crush on him or anything. I didn’t want to risk losing my only friend. Anyway, he deserved better. He came from a great home, had loving parents, and a career that was really taking off. The last thing he needed was a meek girl from a broken home dragging him to hell.

But it was nice…basking in his warmth, being in the presence of someone who wants nothing more than for you to be happy. If my soul was a campfire, Cam was the two sticks rubbed together that helped bring it back to life after a period of dark, damp moldiness.

“Do you want to eat in the food court, or would you rather grab that delicious crepe and head up to the rooftop?” Cam asked.

“Sweets al fresco? I like the sound of that. Oh, but do you think the park is crowded during this time of day?”

“Nonon, the rooftop is always busy. People want to visit the rooftop park, whether it’s to relax, eat lunch outside, or to go on a casual date. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it quiet up there.”

“I guess you're right. It’s a rooftop mall on top of a large shopping mall. They knew what they were doing when they added that to the mall. People can get fresh air and a new pair of shoes at the same time. Definitely a win-win situation.”

“True. True.” I could feel his eyes upon me. I tried not to become flustered under his gaze.  “Serious question. Is that a smile I see on your face?”

“What’s that now?” I threw him a quizzical look.

“The smile on your face. It’s small, but I can see it. You know, it’s not always easy to see you smiling. But when you do, it makes me want to go out and buy a lottery ticket.”

He’s being overdramatic, I knew that. But I couldn’t help but smile even more. “I’m at one of my favorite places with my best friend and it’s a nice day outside. What’s there not to be happy about?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe you don’t like this mall as much as you think you do?”

“Psh, whatever. You know I do. You also know that I am glad for any break from home. And today just has a different energy to it, you know?” 

“Different energy?”

“Yeah, it just seems, I don’t know, brighter. Bubblier. Happier.” I covered my mouth as the giggles flowed freely from my mouth. It was like I drank a can of soda and some of the bubbles went up my nose. Effervescent.  “It just feels better to be out here. People might tell me it’s just a ‘grass is greener’ type of thing, but sometimes, you go to a place and feel like it’s where you are meant to be. Do you know what I mean?”

“Absolutely I do. I'm here in Greenview living the good life, doing what I love most," Cam replied with a proud grin. "It doesn't get any better than this."

“Look at you, living the dream. I might be a little jealous if I weren’t so focused on getting out of that house. One day, I’ll get out there and I'll get to live my best life.”

“If you need a cheerleader, I volunteer for the job. I can do a mean cheer and an even meaner split.” We exchanged amused looks. A split – really? I didn't believe him but at the same time, I'd pay to see if he was telling the truth. “Just don’t ask me to do it in public.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll take your word for it.”

After grabbing the crepes, we finally made our way to the rooftop park. Just as Cam predicted, it was full of people. But what he didn’t predict was the reason for all the common. In an instant, all the couples packing the mall moments before made sense – there was a Wedding Expo taking place. The center of the rooftop, usually peppered with tables, benches, and cycling installations, was now a hotbed of nuptial activity. Vendors were out in full force, ready to attract much needed clients with the promise of a beautiful wedding. Monogrammed napkins, luxury place settings, blooming bridal bouquets – there was a vendor ready to pitch you with the promise of a perfect wedding. Mannequins and beautiful models dressed in flowing gowns and dapper tuxedos encouraged brides-to-be (and grooms if they were persuaded to) to look absolutely stunning on their special day.

“Guess we know why there’s a bunch of couples at the mall today.” I snickered, gesturing to the festivities. “They’re all planning their perfect weddings!” 

“Looks like it.” Cam's eyes were fixed on the wedding expo, like he was getting caught up in his own dreams of happily ever after. “Must be nice, tying the knot with the love of your life and having a big party afterward.” 

“It’s a waste of money, that’s what it is.” My voice was laced with cynicism. “Have you seen how expensive weddings are nowadays? You could put a down payment on a house with all that money?”

“You’re telling me that you’ve never dreamed of having a big wedding and wearing a nice, poofy dress?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 

Cam scoffed. “I don’t believe that. Every girl dreams of her wedding day, right? I mean, that’s what all those jewelry store commercials make it seem like.” 

“Of course, they do. How else are they going to get you to buy a shiny diamond engagement ring with two month’s salary? Pretty sure that’s how advertising works, Cam.”

“Yeah, but still.” He leaned in with a smirk. “There isn’t a little part of you that wonders what you’d look like in a pretty white dress? A small bit?” 

“Sorry to disappoint you, but no.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, ‘why not’? I just don’t.” My heart tightened in my chest. I took a deep breath, gazing over at the majestic white ball gown in the center of the park, the crown jewel of the entire event. “I never thought of myself as the type to get married.” 

“Why? Is there something you’ve got against marriage?”

“No, I just don’t know if it’s something I need. I mean, I’m more interested in someone who respects me and treats me well. Someone who thinks I’m precious and sees me as an equal. Someone who will stick around when things get bad and will work together with me to keep the relationship afloat. If I have all that, then what do I need a wedding for? A real partnership with someone you love is something I’d want more than some fancy wedding.”

“Hmm...I never thought of it that way.” 

We stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Anxiety clawed at my stomach. I wondered if I was being too forward if I somehow made him angry with my thoughts on getting married. I knew he wasn’t my mom. I didn’t have to worry about him demanding that I speak respectfully or yelling at me for speaking so honestly. Cam wasn’t like that. But living with my mother all these years took its toll on my ability to communicate with others. Walking on eggshells with her all the time extended to everyone else. I feared I would piss everyone else off with my words as easily I’d upset my mother by simply existing. I cursed myself, punishing myself for not cutting myself off while I had the chance. Now, I might have offended the one friend I had and that really bothered me. 

“You’re something else, you know that Nonon?” Cam finally said after a while. I felt my eyes watering as he stared at me, eyes thoughtful, a gentle smile on his face. “Any guy who would be lucky to have someone like you in their life. You’re a treasure.” 

“No, I’m not. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Yes, you are. You’re sweet, loyal, and considerate. You know how to make a person feel completely at ease. Spending time with you is effortless.”

I had no right to feel so weak in the knees, but there I was, buckling under the weight of his gaze. “You’re just saying that because we’re friends and you’ve known me for a while.”

“And the problem with that is…what?”

“Geez, Cam.” I giggled, waving him off. It’s what I always did. He was generous with his compliments, but I could never accept them. If I was such a good person, then why was my life so difficult? It didn’t make any sense. But I wouldn’t say that out loud. “You’re no slouch yourself. I just know I’ll be attending your wedding any day now.”

“You think so?”

“I do. And I’m sure it’ll be a lovely day. Your future bride-to-be will be glowing all day because she’s marrying such a great person. You’ll treat her like a queen, you’ll protect her, and you’ll keep her safe. Not gonna lie, but I envy her and I haven’t even met her yet!”

Cam opened his mouth to respond but shut it just as quickly. Instead, he just stared at me thoughtfully. For a second time, I was caught off-guard. Did I really say something wrong this time? Did I touch a nerve? On the surface, it didn’t seem that way. There was a thoughtful expression on his face, like he was really thinking about what I said. I wrecked my brain for social cues I might have missed. Was he dating somebody? I wasn’t sure. Cam preferred privacy when it came to his romantic relationships, but he would have mentioned something. Right?

I threw the whole thought process away. If I continued, I’d just ruin the way with all that overthinking. Yet it clung to me, a little voice in my ear fraught with insecurities, a voice I fought tooth and nail to ignore.

“Don’t mind me though. I’m just being stupid.” The nervous laugh and the wave of my hand did nothing to ease the awkwardness. “Sometimes, I just don’t know when to shut up…” 

“Hey, I’ve got a crazy idea,” Cam piped in. I didn’t like that mischievous sparkle in his eyes. It did nothing to lighten the mood. “Are you up for it?”

I arched an eyebrow. “I don’t like where this is going. Depends on what you have in mind?”

“What? Don’t you trust me?”

“Not when you look like that, no. But you’re gonna tell me anyway.”

“Let’s pretend like we’re one of those couples here for the wedding expo.”

A strangled gasp pushed out of my throat. The mischief in his eyes grew even brighter.