“We set the screen up to give him some peace and quiet, but I do not think he is sleeping.”

She nodded, looking down at the bowl she held.

“Alright. You can step out and go for a walk to get some fresh air. I’ll feed him. You should go to the commons before the kitchens close.” she said with a smile.

She saw the other disciple was about to disagree, but she raised a hand and shook her head no. The two looked at each other in discomfort, but then bowed and scuttled off as they had been told to do. She stood still for a moment longer and once she was sure they had left she cleared her throat to let him know she was there and poked her head over the screen.

“I’m back.” she said with a light smile. The boy barely opened his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have…” he replied with a gruff voice.

She furrowed her brows and stepped next to the bed to place a hand on his forehead. He still had a temperature, but surely lower than he had earlier. She sighed as she sat down, ignoring his words, and helped him sit up after resting the bowl on a side table. The boy’s eyes became the size of saucers, but she placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

“I forbid you from using those words from this moment forward. - she said, picking up the spoon to feed him. - I am here to take care of your injuries, both spiritual and physical. So now be quiet and eat. - she pulled a face in amusement. - I shocked and disturbed the cooks for this.”

Shi XinNian looked at her with a knot in his throat.

“But I am not one of your disciples.” he said in a whisper.

She barely lifted her gaze, staring at him from lowered lashes.

“What does that mean?” she asked.

He shifted his eyes from her face to stare at something behind her shoulders.

“I… I am just… an intruder.” he fished softly.

She did not reply immediately, and the boy thought he had irritated her more than he had intended to. He closed his eyes, waiting for a scolding. However, all he felt was the spoon pressing against his lips, and the warmth emanating from the broth. He opened his eyes to find the spoon filled with broth and chunks of a vegetable he could not pinpoint. He opened his mouth, but before he could utter a single word, Zhang YueLiang placed the spoon in it.

“I knew you were foolish, but not stubborn, too.” she said with a note of criticism in her voice as she removed the spoon from his mouth to scoop up some more broth.

She offered it to him once more, waiting for him to swallow.

“You are my disciple just as much as HaoHan and ZhaoDa are. And now, please stop. You are bound to irritate me with that guilty expression on your face. You aren’t a burden, Shi XinNian. You are part of the QingLong family, and QingLong does not leave anyone behind.” she finished passionately as she fed him some more.

But the boy kept staring at her, mildly shocked. She looked at him too, aware of the effect of her words on him. She hoped the fever would mean he would forget some of them. Her expression softened.

“Even in the most dire of circumstances one of us would come to your aid. So what of this fever? It is just a minor inconvenience we must rid you of. You will pay these cares back with the honour you will bring us. Do you not remember Shigong’s words?”

Her voice had taken on a sweet tone without her being aware of it, but she could not pretend to be detached when he was looking at her like a lost puppy. She really could not.

She could not begin to guess what effect her words would have on Shi XinNian seeing how his eyes were already clouded due to the fever and his face had a light redness to it too, with a hint of sweat. The boy clenched his fingers to try and control the slight tremor that was running through them. He parted his lips and took the bite his Shizun had been offering him for quite some time now.

He chewed on the bits of celery and swallowed them. Obediently, he finished the broth in silence, without making a single sound or resisting the ministrations.

Zhang YueLiang was now slightly worried. He was not the type of person who would shut up and take something he did not agree with. But how to ask him what was going through his mind? She desperately wanted him to be the better version of himself, but it was so hard to read the often completely impassive face he offered the world.

What he had gone through had never been narrated, maybe to avoid his - undeserving - evil character from garnering more sympathy. And yet, it was widely agreed that his childhood had been much worse than Liang HaoHan’s already terrible one. After all, it had been mostly Shi XinNian who had defended him when they were children. Despite being smaller than the other boy, he truly believed they had the right to live just as much as the next person in that novel, and that belief had guided him all the way through the story. He believed that, despite all the harsh words directed at him, the injustices and beatings he had endured, he existed, and he was alive for a reason, that his family - his sister - had saved him for a bigger purpose.

It hurt her deeply that he had to bear so much pain to remain loyal to that train of thought. Exactly that was what had struck a chord within her, and what made her want to help him assert those opinions; that Liang HaoHan and he had the right to be happy, and when she looked in his eyes she saw the vulnerability of those who struggle to find themselves. 

She wanted to help those feelings come to light without them turning into the arrogance and violence of those who pursue vengeance, and not respect.

“Shi?” she asked softly once he had finished eating.

The boy stared at his own hands, apparently unperturbed, without moving. She was afraid his fever was high once more.

Maybe the broth was too much?

After all, she was only relying on her knowledge from the novel to deal with this situation. She put down the bowl and was about to step closer to him, but by standing up she could now see tears shining on his handsome face. Despite being young, he was already showing the promise of the elegance and beauty of his adulthood. 

Her hands shook upon seeing his expression. It felt as though he were talking to her without making a single sound. 

Suddenly, he turned and buried his face in the pillow.

“Please, do not look at me.” he said with a choked voice.

She closed her eyes briefly, she could not bear to look at that trembling body as it tried to repress all that pain. It was instinct more than conscious thought that made her rest her hand on his shoulder and stroke his arm.

“Showing your pain is not weak, XinNian.” she whispered.

He stopped crying upon hearing her say his name, and she cursed herself internally. She ignored that mistake and got even closer to him to place a soft kiss on the crown of his head, gentle and barely there.

“Rest. You’ll feel better tomorrow, you’ll see. And you can go back to being as independent as you like. - she smiled softly. - This annoying Shizun will go back to respecting your pride, don’t worry.”

She ran a hand through his hair to tidy his unruly locks and stood up. He turned around just as quickly as the first time to grab her sleeve. She stopped mid-turn.

“Yes?”

They stared at each other for a moment. The boy’s eyes were even more cloudy and his face redder because of the crying. He truly looked like a young boy then, lost and unable to find an anchor to grab a hold of.

Then he opened his mouth. And closed it again. And opened. As though he were looking for words but he was unable to find them. And that was truly the case. He was finding it hard to explain what he was feeling. It was something he could not even explain to himself, a closeness that had no name or shape he could describe. 

He shut his mouth again and took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Shizun.” he said, finally letting go of her.

She smiled and nodded her head in his direction.

“Thank you for allowing me to take care of your hot head.” she replied, amused. He reddened some more and she picked up her skirts to leave.

“Good night, XinNian.”

And then she left, leaving the boy to stare at the space she had occupied, illuminated by the moon and the candles, part light and part darkness, secretly so sweet but outwardly icy.

He swallowed and lay on his side again. Then, as if he were unsure, he lifted his fingers to the spot the woman had placed her lips on, delicate as a butterfly’s wings, and grasped his hair as he folded in on himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, that Mountain was not as bad as he thought.

It was a couple more days before Shi XinNian was well again. After that first evening, she had decided it would not be appropriate for her to keep seeing him, but she took care to give Ming ZhenYa the broth so she could take it to him. She had modified it after being told his fever had passed and she had seasoned it more, adding plants that would allow him to regain his strength.

That boy was too frail. She could not fathom how with those twiggly arms he had he would become the invincible Demon King. So, feeling like a worried grandmother, she made him soups that offered more sustenance and flavour than the already delicious ones offered by the manse.

By then, the cooks were used to seeing her pottering at the stove looking for the right ingredients, even offering her some suggestions she had accepted with a smile. She was by no means a culinary genius, all she remembered were the vexed instructions her grandmother used to give her.

That evening she was sitting at her desk and was practising her calligraphy, she had found out the Original had beautiful handwriting, very different from her own chicken-feet writing. She had decided to keep a journal of her adventures, mostly so she would not forget any important details if the C.S. had a stroke of genius and decided to make a reference to her own previous actions rather than the events of the novel. After all, she knew she was making many changes. Although she could not predict what the outcome would be, she was sure future events would be different.

She put down the brush with a sigh and she plastered herself on top of the table to look out the window where the petals of the peach tree flowers were fluttering in the wind.

She placed a hand on her chest feeling the usual tightness. But she could breathe easier those days. As usual, her eyes wandered to her orchids. She did not know how, but they had been changed. Unfortunately she had not seen Shi XinNian anywhere, but she knew he had escaped Liang HaoHan’s watch and had changed them.

That boy was so stubborn.

And yet, she smiled, thinking about the expression on his face when she had become his teacher, or when he brought her her herbs. It was a lovely face, clean and honest, despite his fears lurking in the background. A face she would like to see for the rest of the novel.

A shadow came over her good mood when she remembered what destiny awaited them.