I like being here up in space: there’s no noise, I don’t have to go to a shitty job, and IT’S THE FREAKIN MOON!

I guess the first two pints can be applied to the Earth in its current state, no thanks to that flipping monster (Master I think Angelus called it, it’s a dumb name in my opinion). All of humanity was wiped out due to that thing (I hope there’s only one) and I have to kill it. An order was given to me by the guy who turned me into an Acolyte (again, it’s a dumb name that I wouldn’t call it, but whatever).

There is another reason for me to go hunting these things and the planet itself. And it’s good old-fashioned cold, hard revenge. For my family and friends of course, but more importantly myself. Terrene just had to end the world just before I got the chance to improve my life. You may call it stupid, or you may even call it selfish, I call it having principles. 

I stalled long enough, it’s about time I continue on my journey. 

I took a long, deep breath, bent my knees, and jumped with all of my might. I am sent flying toward the Earth at rocket speeds. I burn up in the atmosphere, but my skin and clothes are left completely intact. In fact, I don’t feel any pain at all, or anything for that matter.

“WAHAHAHAHA! This is great! I am invincible!”

I haven’t had this much fun with my clothes on in such a long time. As I got closer to the ground, I decided to make my entrance back on Earth grand and to say “fuck you” to Terrene.

I opened my mouth and concentrated Chaos Energy in front of it. Moments before I hit the ground, I release the energy at point-blank range.

The force of the energy was greater than I had anticipated because I went flying miles away from where I was supposed to land. I crash into some forest, destroying hundreds of trees along the way. The shockwave of the blast actually hurt me. I lay there in the crater for a little while until I healed completely.

“Ow, Maybe that wasn’t such a smart idea after all.”

“Well, at least you are self-aware of your own stupidity.” A soft female voice said.

I got up from the ground and floated out of the crater. It’s amazing, just natural for me to use these new powers of mine. It is as automatic as my breathing or blinking.

When I got out of the crater, I was met by a long blonde woman, wearing nothing but a poncho. She had piercing blue eyes, pale skin, and no blemishes whatsoever. Her build was lean but she came off as someone who can easily kick my ass in a fight. Looking at her feels me with so much envy that I forgot that there was another human alive in this apocalyptic landscape.

“Who are you? And more importantly, how did you survive the Masters’ attack.”

The blonde poncho lady smiles warmly at me as she introduces herself. “My name is Artemisia. I am Angelus’s best friend. He sent me to accompany you on your quest to slay the Master.”

“Angelus doesn't have any confidence in me?”

“Seeing as you were just turned into an Acolyte a few minutes ago and that you pointlessly jumped to the moon and fired a pointless blast at the ground, I’ll say that you have a long way to go before he has any confidence in your abilities.” She said with a smile on her face.

“To be fair, I didn’t expect to jump that high. Secondly, I was trying to make Terrene angry.” God, saying out loud made me realize just how dumb that actually sounds. If I told her about my wanting to make a grand entrance, I think I’ll just die again.

Artemisia tilts her head. “Excuse me?”

“Uh, don’t worry about it. Anyways, you said you were best friends with Angelus? I’m assuming that you either like him or some other non-human entity.”

Artemisia nods. “That is correct! I am not an Ancient like Angelus, I am what you will call an Ultimate Life Form.”

She says that as if knowing what the hell that is is supposed to be common knowledge.

“Um, what?”

Artemisia chuckles. “It basically means that I am the most powerful being in all of existence, excluding the Ancients themselves. But we’re not here to talk about me, let us be on our way, Norah.”

Artemisia slowly ascended toward the sky. I followed after her even more slowly, and here I thought that I had just gotten used to my new powers. But flying is way more difficult than firing lasers from my mouth. Just keeping a stable altitude proved difficult for me, not to mention my lack of speed. At least I didn’t end up like Icarus, so there's that. 

“I do not understand how you are struggling this much on flying. It is no different than walking.” Artemisia said.

“To be fair to me, it’s not like I was born to fly or anything. This is my literal first time doing it.”

Artemisia puts her fingers on her chin, as she ponders what to say next.

“Well if it helps you, try equating flying to riding a bicycle. You want to retain your balance, to help with that try extending your arms like this.” She extends both arms to the side of her like she’s Peter Pan or something.

I do as I am told and would you believe that it actually works. I am no longer descending and I am slightly faster. Or at least I think I am. 

I appreciate that Artemisia gave me that helpful tip. Because if it was just Angelus and me, I feel like he would just belittle me.

Whatever, now that I got the hang of flying, I think I can go a little bit faster.

“Why don’t we kick it up a notch?” I asked Artemisia.

“That’s unnecessary, Norah. We will get to our destination when we get there.”

I scoff.

“Nonsense. I got this!” 

I expend all of the energy I have in my body so I can fly faster. To my surprise, it was a little too fast. So fast that everything in my vision merged into a single blurry mess.

I couldn’t stop myself in time so I crash-landed on the side of a mountain. My whole body feels like I’ve been smashed by a freaking giant.

I can hear Artemisia's voice coming from behind me. “This is what happens if you don’t listen to me, Norah. Now you’ve gone and gotten yourself hurt for no reason. She said in a tone like a parent disappointed in their shitty kid.

Since my whole body was in pain, all I could do was respond in groans.