"It's okay." Greyson said calmly as he disobeyed my orders.
"Don't" I repeated when reached out for me.
I could feel tears threatening to come out.
"Do you want to talk?" Greyson dropped his hand and watched me carefully.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.
"Was it something I did or said."
I shook my head again. There was silence before I felt Greyson's cool hand against my warm skin.
"Please." I said no louder than a whisper. The pain in my chest had now lodge itself in my throat. "I don't want to-"
"You can't," Greyson said finishing my thought.
His arms snaked around my waist and I tensed up. I could feel his naked chest against my back and I wanted to melt into his arms, but I couldn't bring myself to calm down.
"You're safe now." He whispered into my ear as his right hand gently reached for mine.
I could feel Greyson intake a breath as he pulled my hand away from the mirror. Glass shards protruded from knuckles and I seethed as he slowly uncurled my fingers. I half expected him to bring my fingers to his lips, but instead, he turned on the sink with his left hand and placed both our right fists into it.
I said nothing, except grunt a few times as he pulled out the glass.
When it was all over, instead of wrapping my hand in gauze, Greyson stepped away from me to adjust the heat of the shower. He took off his own boxers and grabbed my good hand.
I was hesitant to follow him in and I kept a close eye on the shower head. It was back to spewing water. Aside from the heat, I felt numb and empty. For the past decade, I tried to suppress my darkest memories, but every now and then, they would bubble back to the surface without any effort.
Dee was the only one who ever saw me in this condition because I was too afraid that if anyone else did, they’d send me away. She was good at cleaning up my messes.
Greyson washed my hair and body before working on himself. When we were clean, we stayed in the shower for a little longer then needed. He cradled my face in his hands and placed a small butterfly kiss on my lips. When I didn't respond, he stepped out of the shower and took out two towels from under the sink. He wiped himself down with one towel and wrapped it around his waist before turning to help me.
The shower had stopped, but I could still feel water dripping down my cheeks. Greyson wiped my face and then finished drying me off. When he was done, I looked up at him and searched his clouded eyes for some relief. When the confusion in his expression softened, I broke.
I hated feeling this way, like I was helpless and broken.
"Why?" was all I could muster as we left the bathroom.
"Because whatever caused you to feel this way," Greyson began as he handed me a fresh set of boxers and a tee shirt, “is not your fault, and no one should go through this alone.”
“What if there was nothing that caused this?” I asked as Greyson helped me back into the bed. “What if, I’m just messed up?”
“Well then, at least you have someone beside you, when things hit the fan.” Greyson looked down and smiled as he pulled the covers over me. He placed a cool palm against my cheek and gently pecked me on the forehead.
“I’m going to get you some ice and some bandages, will you be alright by yourself for a bit?”
I nodded. The worst of it was over.
Greyson left the room, but I was fast asleep before he returned.
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