“Changed your mind?”

Bastian, who was busy mixing a drink behind the bar, glanced up suddenly. On the other side of the counter stood Revie, smiling as he leaned against the wood. Nearby, by the entrance door, rested the red umbrella - the one Bastian was supposed to return as an excuse to talk again. He had changed his mind, indeed. 

“I’m sorry”, Bastian whispered, walking away to bring some drinks to a table, and Revie couldn’t tell if it was an answer to his question or just a quick apology for being busy. 

Revie waited, leaning his elbows on the polished counter. It was a quiet evening, just a few customers around the pub, and soft background music blending with the hum of low conversations. 

When Bastian returned, he looked startled to find Revie still standing there, staring at him as if he was a ghost.

“You should know, Bastian, that I am the most stubborn person you’ll ever meet.”

Bastian looked around, and avoiding his eyes, he just said: “In the back.”

“Excuse me?”, Revie asked.

“I have a break in a minute. Let’s talk in the back.” Asa followed him with his eyes as Bastian vanished behind a door marked Employees Only. He smiled, pleased.

***

Bastian smoked. For some reason, Revie hadn't expected it, but the scent of tobacco suited Bastian well. He walked toward him, stepping on the wet ground.

“I didn’t know you were a smoker” he commented, standing a few feet from him.

“I’m quitting”, Bastian replied, embarrassed. Revie couldn’t ignore how the red light from the EXIT sign was caressing his face.

“Why are we here?”

Bastian let out a long breath, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Listen. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that I don’t want to be friends with you, it’s just… not the right moment for meeting new people. I think you might understand.”

Revie tilted his head on the side. Friends?

He laughed. “You realize I am a fag, right?”

Bastian's smile dropped and he tensed when Revie took a step forward.

“I don’t care about being your friend. I am attracted to you” he whispered. He stole the cigarette from his hand and took a slow drag while looking straight into his eyes. Blowing the smoke downwards, he placed the cigarette between Bastian’s lips and looked at him inhaling from his fingers.

Bastian didn’t say a word, but his cheeks turned red. He took the cigarette back and looked around to be sure no one caught them, like they just did something shameful.

“Is something wrong?”, Revie asked, carefully. “If you’re not into men, or just not interested in me, you can say so.”

“It’s not that...” Bastian muttered, sounding deeply tired. So you do like me. “I can’t do these things.”

“You can’t do these things?”

“I am not...”, and looked around again, before proceeding in a low voice. “No one knows I’m not straight. And no offense, but you look… too indiscreet. I have enough problems. And, please, could you not use that word?”

Revie arched an eyebrow, upset. “Which word? Fag?”

“That’s not a nice thing to say.”

Revie chuckled. Welcome here, internalized homophobia. “Oh? Did your father used to call you that way while beating you?”

“Go fuck yourself” Bastian replied suddenly, raising his voice. Asa raised his eyebrows, surprised. Guess I hit a nerve.

“Ah… Are these nice words to say?”, he joked.

Bastian looked away and seemed embarrassed about his reaction. He put out the cigarette on the wall behind him and threw it away in a rubbish bin, a few meters from them.

“So you are discreet”, Revie commented, staring at him. He smirked. “I never would have guessed.”

Bastian didn’t understand if that was supposed to be a joke.

“I am just a private person” Bastian said, defensively. “I don’t want people knowing my business, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Nothing wrong, nothing wrong. So let’s meet privately.”

Bastian shook his head. “You could tell someone and everyone would know. It always ends this way.”

“Yeah, right, we don’t want to give people another reason to talk about you ”, he nodded.

He didn’t regret saying it, even after seeing Bastian’s expression shift in a dangerous smile. Bastian clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white; he looked ready to hit him. Revie would have  not minded if he did.

But Bastian didn’t hit him.

“Sometimes, you just need to accept a no, Asa” he said softly.

“I know you want to date me. You think I’m pretty, don’t you?”

He looked away. “I think you’re an asshole.”

“You didn’t deny, though” Revie said, raising his chin and Bastian stayed silent. Revie could easily understand when a man was attracted to him and it felt powerful. Having sex with Bastian was going to be easier than he thought, maybe it wasn’t even necessary forcing him.

He stepped towards the bartender, who took a few steps back until his shoulders hit the wall. Revie approached him carefully, expecting to be pushed away any moment. He heard Bastian gulping when he leaned forward and licked Bastian’s lips, with no hesitation.

When he pulled away, Bastian had closed his eyes and his breath was heavier.

“Just tell me to leave, if that’s what you want ” Revie whispered, reaching up to stroke a loose strand of blond hair away from Bastian’s forehead. Bastian grabbed his arm, moving it downwards.

“No one has to know about this” he whispered, almost intimidating.

A second later, he pulled Revie closer violently. Revie gasped as Bastian’s lips pressed against his, a hand gripping the back of Revie's head to hold him in place. It was a desperate, messy kiss - Bastian shoved his tongue into Revie's mouth, tasting heavily of stale tobacco ash. 

It lasted only a few intense seconds, until Revie put his hands on his chest and tried to reach his belt. He laughed, when Bastian pushed him away. He immediately spotted the erection through his pants and, damn, that seemed to be huge.

Bastian looked around again, gasping for air.

“Relax, no one caught you kissing another guy.” Bastian looked back at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?” he asked, genuinely confused. Bastian didn’t answer. He looked devastated and drowning in guilt. 

“Come to my place when your shift ends...” he whispered, glancing down at Bastian’s pants. He licked his own lips. “I can take care of that.”

“No.” It was all Bastian said, before suddenly running back inside the pub.

Revie stared at the exit door. Asshole, he thought surprised to realize just how hard that quick kiss had made him. That wasn’t like him. He adjusted his hair behind the ears and took his phone from the pocket of his coat. He opened one of the dating apps. He was going to find someone to fuck and he was going to think about Bastian while doing it.