Lycan

            I sat there just holding her hand or her paw whichever state she was in. I was deeply afraid to kiss her, afraid for the failure. What if I wasn't her true love? What if I couldn't find a way to wake her? I could tell she was in pain. The constant transformations had to be taking a toll on her fragile frame and her recent injury. I knew she was in a horrible place, because of the close contact with her I could see her dreams,

Kiss me Lycan, hold me, help me Lycan! I love you LYCAN PLEASE HELP ME!'

            Startled by the sudden outburst in my head I released her and I leaned down and kissed her soft pink lips, at first nothing happened. I let my hesitation and reluctance go, hoping something would change. Her constant transformations kept going, but her eyes opened. I thought she could see me, but her pupils weren't dilating to the harsh light she was under.  I felt another presence around me, it wasn't an Unspeakable, or the All Powerful One, the power was softer, but strong. It was Echo.

"Hello Echo."

"How did you? Never mind, I have found a way to break the Death Sleep completely."

How had she known I had kissed her? I turned and saw Echo holding a rather old book. The title cover was well worn, and was made from old leather, it was cracking in places, and peeling in others. The lettering was once gold, but now looked tarnished with age. I made out the title; just barely there, Guardians: A History of Our Race. How had she found the answers in there? Snow didn’t, she had already recounted the tale in her mind as she was moving from one nightmarish scene to the next.

"Tell me Echo, I need to know," I came closer to her "Echo please. I'm sorry if I've hurt you with my love for her but please don't withhold this information, we need her, I need her."

Echo let out a breath she must’ve been holding for ages. She looked at me with a sad understanding of my need; and slowly began;

"Lycan, you didn't hurt me, I knew all along you didn't completely love me. Lycan you must understand my situation admitting I’m gay or bisexual or whatever I am is so goddamn hard, I'm lucky to have such amazing friends and an amazing girlfriend like Luna. But Luna had a vision of me dying Lycan, and I'm a bit shaken. I understand this information is important I do, but I don't think you're ready for this."

My anger was growing flashes of images of me ripping Echo's throat out and ingesting her torn flesh filled my mind, and it was all I could do to stay somewhat human.

''You don't get to decide if I'm ready for this! I do, and so does Snow. I am not going to lose her! What if Luna was in this Death Sleep? What would you do, what if I was the one withholding this much needed information and said you weren't ready?" I growled. The fierceness in my voice broke her resolve and she cried.

"Lycan I still love you! Why the hell can't you see that? I love Luna don't get me wrong, but you were the first person who made me feel important, loved. I let you go so you could be happy. Don't turn me into the selfish one. I will tell you the spell, but you have to be ready for the consequences and you have to ask yourself, is she worth it?'”

 I paused, my resolve weakening. If Echo, Snow’s best friend, was warning me that her life might not be worth saving; then the task at hand must be hefty. What the hell did we have to do, to save our Alpha?

"What will happen Echo?"  

Echo’s fear was evident in her eyes. She didn’t want to tell me. She didn’t want me to fulfill what the task demanded. But she saw my resolve building, and she knew firsthand how stubborn I was.

"You will forget your humanity for an unmeasurable amount of time. It’s different for every Guardian, and in that time, you will kill twenty-five people. You have to kill to regain your humanity, that means anyone in the radius of your wolf, people Lycan, will be in danger. If you do this you know Snow will blame herself for the bloodshed."

“It’s worth it."

“You will not be able to distinguish who Snow is, or the Unspeakables from the humans."

 I paused, hesitant for a moment. What if I killed Snow? What if I killed someone we knew? But an image of Snow in a casket instead of her four-poster princess bed, settled my mind. It was obvious that I had to do it, wouldn’t anyone, if given the opportunity do the same for the one, they loved?

"I said it's fucking worth it, didn't I? Give me the spell."

Echo wrote it down earlier and she handed me a hot pink sticky note. Wake Spell was written on the top in her curly girly cursive writing. I read through it and smiled a weak smile; it was all in Latin. I took Latin in seventh grade, but I failed miserably. I also didn't have many of the ingredients.

"Echo where do I get all these things? I don't think there's a magic shop in town."

"Before I learned I was a Guardian I dabbled in Wicca, I have everything you need and that's how I got the spell. Here."

She held out a purple shopping bag with a crescent moon on the front and back. I took it and whispered,

"Thank you. I owe you."

"One last kiss will suffice for your payment Lycan. I don't expect anything more from you."

I crossed the distance that separated Echo's lips from mine and quickly kissed her, no spark flew so I knew our choice was the right one, Snow's kisses, all of them, had fireworks. I released her lips and turned to Snow.

Echo left the room quickly, I ignored her sobs, making myself believe they were for Snow, death like as she slept. The transformations had stopped, but she stared unblinking into the harsh light of the lamp. I knelt there, in front of the settee where she laid, with the mini cauldron Echo had given me and started my spell.

I added the mint, and catnip, may-apple and basil, davana, thieves, bergamot, and cinnamon sprigs. I started the chant, feeling ridiculous as I tried to sound out the Latin words,

                'Wake now my love,
For this Slumber is, not yours to sleep
Your slumber is for the dead
And condemned.
Your sleep is not yours to keep

I finished my chant, and a purple mist rose from the cauldron and went into Snow's nostrils and mine, I fell back onto the hardwood floor, and pain shot through my body, being a football player, I knew pain, I've been tackled in as many ways as you can imagine and then some, I have broken almost every bone in my body since I started playing when I was thirteen.

 This pain was white hot, like someone took a branding iron and stuck it into my body and twisted, dragging it as if they were drawing a stick figure. Is this what it's like to lose one's humanity? I blacked out from the pain and when I woke up, I was in the woods. I was in my wolf form. I didn't feel anything except blood lust, hunger, and vengeance.

Snow

I was there in the dark when I heard a scream, filled with pain. Lycan appeared in front of me, his hand outstretched.

'Come with me Snow'

I followed the ghostly figure of Lycan, in some ways I knew this was a piece of Lycan, but if I had known this was his humanity and it had to stay behind in this horrid place, I wouldn't have followed. We came to a place with two doors that stood in the middle of a clearing. They didn't appear like they would go anywhere. But they did. To hell and to home. He guided me to the blue door, the HOME door, and told me he would follow me.

I became aware slowly of my corporal body, I was on a couch, and my eyes were burning, I looked to see someone had placed me under a lamp. I tried to sit up but I couldn't, I tested my vocal ability and I could hear faintly my almost inaudible whisper,

"Lycan? Echo, Luna? Accalia?"

I laid back down and I heard hurried footsteps on the stairs. I waited for my friends and my True Love to appear. Luna, Echo and Accalia entered. Where was Lycan? Had he left me? Where was he. I scanned the room for traces of him. I couldn't see him. I couldn't smell him, but I could feel that he had been in the room recently. I smelled cinnamon, and mint. The room sparkled a little. 

"Where is Lycan?"

Echo looked down to the ground and shuffled her feet, she looked like the wolf fresh out of the hen house.

"I gave him a spell to wake you, and in consequence he lost his humanity. He sacrificed his humanity for you. But if he kills twenty-five innocent people in cold blood, he will be the old Lycan."

"No. No. No! Echo you had no right!”

"I TRIED to convince him not to. I told him he wasn't ready. I would've gladly taken his place."

"How long since he performed the spell?"

"Two days, we gave you something so you could have a restful sleep. You were in the Death Sleep for a week."

"How many people has he killed?"

"Twelve. Oh, he attacked Terry! He didn't kill her but he killed everyone else in Strike em Down!" Luna wailed.

"This means he’ll be his old self soon." Accalia said weakly. Had he killed someone we knew well?

"Who were they? Who did he kill?"

"Snow please, if we tell you, you'll never look at him the same." Accalia reasoned,

"Just tell me or give me a newspaper."

I forced myself to stand up despite the agonizing pain I was in, especially my side; I grabbed the folded-up newspaper from Accalia, and read to my horror the names of Lycan's victims the name that popped was Ralph, the owner of the bowling alley.

I forced myself to stay standing.  All the while thinking this couldn't be true. Lycan couldn't be capable of this. But I knew that without his humanity Lycan was capable of evil, pure evil. The love of my life was on a rampage, fighting to get his humanity back. I wanted to curl up and cry, I wanted to blame myself. But he did this for me, I have to support him. The best I can. For the sake of both our sanity's.

The first thing on my agenda, was to shower. I felt like I hadn’t been clean in months instead of a week. I was sure I looked and smelled like a mess…and in the shower I would actually be alone. I could allow myself to cry in the shower without the worry about anyone judging me…or heaven forbid asking me if I was okay. I was the Alpha dammit, I am supposed to be the strong one for the rest of them.

What would I even say if they asked? Oh, yes, I’m doing just fine, my boyfriend is just out murdering people because my stupid ass got cursed by a deranged supernatural creature dead set on getting revenge for her maker.

No thank you. I’ll take crying in solitude for eight hundred, Alex. At least in the shower, the only witness to my moment of weakness was the half empty shampoo and conditioner bottles, and the multicolored loofahs.