The next two seconds passed in complete silence and confusion.

Cmyk had originally gone up, believing the sound that had woken him up had come from the rabbit. And since he was still not used to the concept of taking his clothes off before going to bed, he was still in full fear, carrying a lit candlestick in one hand and a large metal bowl with an apple in the other. He wasn’t at all expecting a pair of strangers standing in the entrance lobby. From their part, the thieves had used a rather expensive magic gem to make sure that there was no living being in the building, and now they were staring at an extremely muscular man armed for battle, holding a dangerously large candlestick and a helmet in the other.

“Oh, shit,” Theo said, just before all hell broke loose.

One of the thieves grabbed a vial from beneath his cloak and smashed it on the floor. Blue smoke filled the room, almost choking Theo with its peppery taste. Instinctively, he slammed the door shut. This provided a serious dilemma for the thieves. None of them had any desire to fight, however, they didn’t want to get caught either. A split-second decision had to be made, and the shorter of the thieves made it by drawing a sword from his dimensional ring and swinging at Cmyk.

Unaffected by the smoke, the minion blocked the attack with the candlestick. All the energy invested by Theo had made Cmyk not only extremely strong, but with excellent reflexes. Unfortunately, despite its size, the candlestick proved no match for the weapon. Clearly it was magic as well, since it sliced halfway through the metal object with the ease a knife would go through butter.

“Ouch!” Theo shouted, feeling a prick. Apparently, having an item created by him broken caused him pain. It was no worse than a paper cut, but that infuriated the dungeon enough to levitate the sword obtained from the legendary hero into the entrance lobby and strike indiscriminately at the thieves.

The attack was blocked by the second thief, who had drawn a large shield from nowhere.

“He’s got magic!” the second thief shouted.

On cue, the first thief leapt back and threw a series of flying knives in the direction of Cmyk.

Moving at speeds that seemed impossible for its large frame, the minion twisted and leapt through the lobby, evading all the attacks. A few knives were deflected with the apple bowl, when then itself was sent flying—apple and all—at the thief’s head.

“Careful with the furniture!” Theo shouted, swinging the sword about wildly. While he had become used to levitation, swordsmanship wasn’t a skill he currently had.

Finding himself in a tight spot, the first thief grabbed another vial and flung it forward. The vial easily missed Cmyk, though it exploded in flames the moment it broke in the wall.

“Hey!” Theo roared. “No more mister nice guy!”

Breaking in was bad enough, but setting him on fire was way across the line. At this point, Theo no longer cared about not being discovered. A deep animosity filled him, wanting nothing less than beating the thieves into a pulp. A table and two massive chairs flew in from the guest hall, singing at the thieves in slow, sloppy fashion; and while the attacks were easily blocked by the thief with the shield, the strength was enough to push her back several steps.

“What’s going on?” the first thief shouted.

“The house is full of magic!” the second thief replied. “I’ll break a window! We’re getting out of here.”

“Oh, no you don’t!” They took one of the interior doors off its hinges, moving it in front of the ground-floor window. He had no intention of having them break anything else, unless it was with their heads.

LEGENDARY SWASHBUCKLING

Complete mastery of swordplay, acrobatics, guile, and bravado rivaling that of any adventurer.

I thought that might be useful, Spok said.

It did. Suddenly, the chaotic movement of the sword and furniture became a lot more precise. Instead of wildly hacking and slashing, Theo focused on light piercing attacks. Like an experienced fencer, he combined swings, feints, and jabs, causing the thief with the shield to move the shield about in a desperate attempt to protect herself, only to get clobbered on the back of the head by a floating table.

Meanwhile, Cmyk dealt with the other thief. Unwilling to give the man a chance to fetch another vial, the minion rushed forward and grabbed both of the thief’s arms. In his lazy mind, Cmyk was already celebrating his victory, when a kick in the groin told him his opponent thought otherwise. The attack itself didn’t cause nearly as much pain as the thief had hoped—or any, for that matter. However, it forced Cmyk to despond with a quick headbutt, rendering the intruder unconscious.

Both thieves down, a momentary sense of victory and accomplishment set in. Cmyk and the nearby floating furniture turned to one another, displaying a figurative grin of superiority.

“We showed them, eh?” Theo asked.

That is indeed commendable, sir. But can I remind you that part of you is still on fire, not to mention the damages inflicted on the lobby—

“Holy crap! Cmyk put the fire out!” Theo fretted. “Spok, repair the damage!”

And what about the thieves?

“What do I care? Tie them up and throw them out! We have more important things to worry about!”

A set of ropes appeared, winding around each thief, then tying a tight knot with a bow. Once that was done, Spok opened the front door, tossed the intruders outside, and closed the door shut. Naturally, in the process, the spirit guide didn’t forget to deprive the thieves of all more exotic possessions: a shock absorbing shield, a pair of metal cutting daggers, a pair of dimension storage rings, and a necklace with a life sensing gem. After all, it was only fair that they paid for the damages inflicted.

Repairing the house involved more grumbling than actual work. Theo would complain at each nick and scorch mark, pointing out that “it wasn’t as good as before.” Spok would try to explain that everything was identical to the way it was, only to be directed to another scratch mark and go through the same process. Cmyk, on his part, picked up the apple from the ground, went upstairs to feed the rabbit, then went back to his room without helping in any work at all.

Once again, things eventually returned to normal, until the next knock on the door.

“Cmyk!” Theo shouted, not even bothering to peek through the windows. “See who it is this time. And don’t even think of going out with your friends! You’re grounded until you spin more gold!”

With a silent grumble, the minion went to the door and opened it.

“Good day to you, sir,” a man in a bright blue uniform, a shiny breastplate, and an incredibly large mustache said. “Lieutenant Kyle Ribbons of the city guard at your service. I’m here in regard to the whole disturbance business.”

Theo felt his heart sink—or he would have if he still had one. Apparently dealing with the thieves felt like a bottle of whiskey: lots of fun during the night, but a huge headache in the morning after.

“From what I understand, you’re rather new in town, correct?” the lieutenant asked.

Staring blankly forward, Cmyk nodded.

“And where did you come from? There seems to be some confusion regarding that matter.”

“Is there a way to summon a more intelligent minion?” Theo whispered in the attic.

That would be possible. What type of minion would you like to create?