“Hey, Chen!” I slapped his face and yelled loudly. “He’s got the flu.” I stroked his cheek. “Goddamnit!” I took a step forward to raise his body and pull him to his room.

As his hand wrapped over my shoulders, I grunted as I lifted him up, carrying his weight. The pastel-colored pillowcases and mattresses were revealed as I turned the knob and unlocked the room. 

I let out a snort. 

“Look who’s gayer than me,” I whispered after I scoffed.

Chen was slammed upon the bed by me. He tossed and rolled his back to the wall, exhaling faint grunts and moans. When I grabbed his shirt, I noticed he was drenched. 

“It’s time for me to change his clothes.”

I walked over to his closet and grabbed the one on the top shelf, slinging it over my shoulder.

Despite his attempts to remove my hands from his body, I pushed them away and grabbed his shirt, removing it. 

“Will you please put a stop to it?” I kept yanking his wet shirt off him.

I gulped as I revealed his muscular body. 

Then, I turned away, stood up, and went to the kitchen to grab a bowl and some cold water, as well as a towel from his closet.

With a sneer, Chen raised his face. I sneered in response and sat down next to him, dabbing the wet towel all over his torso, particularly around his arms and neck. He attempted to shove me away.

Despite my irritation at becoming his babysitter, my conscience lingered, so I elected to stay. I paused just as I was about to dab his chest down to his abs and traced his body with my eyes. 

While I was doing so, I suddenly remembered what happened in the janitor’s office not too long ago. 

I flinched when they landed on Chen’s face, recognizing he was already staring at me intently. 

“What are you staring at, bastard?” he inquired in such a cold fashion, in his usual way.

With a shake of my head, I expressed my dissatisfaction with the situation. 

“Nothing.” 

I kept dabbing his body until I was done. 

I unfolded his new shirt, which had been slung over my shoulder. 

When I stood up to help him, he grabbed my arm and drew me close to him, forcing me to face him and gaze down. 

Chen continued to stare at me. His breathing was labored.

“What’s wrong?” 

His face flushed, and he felt warm all over. His grip remained strong even though he was sick. 

“You don’t have to do this at all.”

I was on the verge of recoiling and yanking myself away from him. His grip, though, continued to tighten. 

“You don’t have to appear cool and show off your kindness to people because… look, you’ve already said this before. I’m this kind of guy who looks angelic on the surface but a demon underneath.”

He took a breath and stopped. To avoid his attention, I averted my gaze. 

Despite this, he grasped my chin and forced me to stare into his eyes. 

“Unless—”

“Unless what?” I interfered.

“Unless… you want a good look at my physique,” Chen continued with a cheeky grin, but he felt embarrassed. Angry, I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Why would I be envious of his slim figure?

“I admit it, you have a good body. But, I’ve got mine as well and you’ve seen it.” 

I hit him across the face with the towel.

He flinched and raised his body with his weight supported by his elbows pressed against the covers. 

“Do you mind if I take a peek at it again?” 

I was going to raise my eyebrows and pull myself up to stand, almost springing out of the side of the bed, when he grabbed my arm and pulled it closer to him, perplexed. 

“It’s all right, I’m only kidding.” He beckoned and said, “Sit.”

When I sat down and cleared my throat, I quickly looked away and then back at him, my brows furrowed. He raised himself to the point where my face was barely an inch away from his. 

I scowled.

Chen laid down with his arm on his forehead. He exhaled an exasperated sigh and his eyes remained on the ceiling. Even though he didn’t say much, his face said otherwise. He looked as if a lot of things had been bothering him. 

“I mean, seriously. No kidding. You’ve been on the bed for hours. Can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?” 

He refused to respond and forced a slight grin over his lips. He was clearly in pain. 

I grabbed a pillow and placed it in front of him as he struggled to lift himself using my hand to support his weight. 

“I’m still dizzy.” He ignored me and glanced at me, “But don’t worry, I’m alright.” He smiled. 

Unlike other days, it was the first time I saw Chen like this. Physically deficient. Emotionally exposed.

Chen, whatever those smiles signified, I hope it was a genuine wish for peace. I’m the same way. This rivalry between us is no longer acceptable to me. Many people have been harmed, and friendships and even families have been shattered. Our dangerous duel has also tarnished our school’s reputation, so putting an end to it, even if unusually, is something I could embrace.

At that moment, he cleared his throat. 

“Can you get me a glass of water, please?” 

He tried to raise himself a bit. 

“Just stay still, I’ll get you some water. I’ll be right back.” I pushed him back because he didn’t need to. So, I stood and walked to his kitchen. On the way back, I got him a cold glass of water in one hand. “Aren’t you going to eat something, too?”

He shook his head.

When I sat down at the side of his bed, I angled my body, so it would be easier for him to reach the glass and hold it onto his mouth. 

As I let go of the glass while still watching him drink the water, I remembered the moment he kissed me in the coffee shop. 

When he handed me the glass of water, I took it and placed it on the bedside table. 

I sighed as I looked at him with worry because he didn’t look good. 

“Are you okay? Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

He shook his head. “No, this happens from time to time. But it’s not that dramatic, my doctors have said the same shit all the time. It’s just that, when this happens, it sucks.” 

“How long does this have to go on?” 

“It will be gone tomorrow if everything goes well.”

“So, what are you going to do now? I mean, we only have a limited time before the concert. How will we go on with the practices?” I pressed my lips out of hesitation. I knew it wasn’t the right time for me to ask those things, given his condition. 

However, I’ve had to because Mark has expected a lot from us. 

When I looked back at him, my eyes widened, feeling surprised to see Chen’s gaze. 

I took a big gulp. “What are you looking at?”  

He smiled, shaking his head. 

“Oh, I’ll get you something with cold water and a new towel.”

“You know you don’t have to do this, and I mean it.” 

I shook my head. 

“You’re weak now. Plus, you’ve got flu. I don’t think you could do things at home without someone’s help. I know you would insist not to worry about you, but even if you insist, I can’t leave you alone.”

“But—”

While Chen continued to insist on his demands, I stood and told him, “Just let me do it, okay?” 

After I uttered those words, he was silent. His eyes smiled the way his lips were shaped when he pursed them. 

With his hand on my face, he pulled me closer to him and felt the hammering of his heart while on top of him, resisting his grip, and it was driving me insane. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Why are you doing this, Alex?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know that I’m not asking you favor but you’re the one who’s insisting to stay. Is there something else I need to know?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I know you’re going to say that. But, here’s a test. Whatever I’ll do to you right now, if you respond, I’ll take it as a yes. If you do otherwise, it’s a no.”

I scoffed when that line reminded me of something and someone. “What are you going to do now?”

“It’s a test. I don’t think you’ll ever know what comes out in the exam, right? Anyway, are you ready?” 

Fuck, this isn’t happening, is it?

“Yes.”

When I observed him raise his hand while his elbow supported his weight, my brows wrinkled. 

Chen brushed his fingers across my cheekbones and down to my lips, tracing my cheeks, brows, and lips. 

With my eyes open, I tried to take my face away from him. 

He cocked his head and moved closer to my face and swiftly pressing his pink lips to mine. 

For a little while, he was seized by whatever it was that was driving him insane right now. Then, he drew himself together and looked me in the eyes, perplexed and shocked at what he’d done. His hand still cupped my face. 

When I reluctantly placed my palm on his chest, his breath became heavy. His chest was throbbing faster than usual at the time. He reached out with his left arm and traced my jawline with his warm, thick fingers. He brushed the backs of his fingers on my cheeks without taking his gaze away from what he was doing.

Then, he drew himself inches closer to me, tugging me towards him with his hand on my chin. He closed his eyes as he tilted his head and put his face closer to me, his gaze locked with mine.

As our lips connected, I closed my eyes without resistance. 

Our kisses became more intense and our tongues met. His hand crept and combed my long hair back, while my hand, which seemed to have a life of its own, found itself on Chen’s face, tugging him.

Chen, why are we doing this? Is this still on the table? What exactly is going on? Tell me why I’m starting to feel like this. Why am I having such a hard time resisting you this time? What’s the matter with me? Shit.

We kept kissing passionately for an unknown amount of time until Chen drew away, seeming astonished, while I was taken aback by what had just happened. 

“I’m sorry.” He wiped his lips with his palm before returning his gaze to me, this time frightened. “Are you all right?” He shook his head and looked down, his hands covering his face and planting on the bed’s side. He raised his head and pressed his lips together.

I gave a nod. “I’m fine.” I pressed my lips with the back of my hand before standing and walking a few steps to the table where the pot of water and moist cloth were put. 

He scoffed as he pushed his back and pressed on the bed with his arm on his forehead.

“Can you tell me why you kissed me, Chen?”

He sighed as he glanced at me. “It doesn’t matter.”

“But you’re the one who started this game.”

He raised himself from the bed and landed an intense gaze on me. “We both know that it’s not what the real question… Why did you kiss me back, Alex?” 

Unable to respond, I grabbed the pot with the damp cloth in it without saying anything and took a few more steps out of his room and approached his kitchen. 

While setting the pot on the table, I lifted my head to take another peek at his room, which was still ajar.

After I left Chen’s apartment, I squeezed my lips together, following the lines where his lips had previously touched with my fingertips while I walked upstairs to my apartment.  

Why did I kiss him back?

What was Chen thinking when he kissed me like that?