After reaching home, I quickly dropped my stuff and took a shower. Showering was my favorite way to wind down after a long day, and boy this day was definitely a long one. I still couldn’t believe I met Skye again after all these years. It was 10 years since I last saw them, and I was about to forget everything that I went through, until they showed up on my train ride home. Their existence in my life, though short, brought back all the memories I had of them, mostly ones that I wished I never had. 

At the same time though, I kept replaying the scenes where they apologised to me, not just once but twice. Even more strangely, I felt relieved after hearing what they said. Perhaps it was the universe’s way of telling me to let bygones be bygones and forgive them for what they did when they were younger. Either way, I would have to listen to what they had to say tomorrow, since they did say that they would explain everything to me.

The shower thoughts I had were exhausting but necessary to process, so I went straight to bed in my pyjamas after the shower. Somehow I managed to sleep soon after, which was unheard of as I tend to sleep only after lying in bed for a few hours. I didn’t have any dreams either, which was another rare occurrence. I did, however, manage to set an alarm before sleeping for 8:30am which gave me some time before the meeting with Skye.

The alarm proved to be necessary as I was awoken by it, otherwise I would have overslept and missed the meeting. I quickly got up and started getting ready for the day. I decided to dress myself relatively casually, with my favorite blue T-shirt and jeans, as it was just a meeting at the nearby café and not a date. 

Wait, a date? I was getting ahead of myself there. All Skye said was that they never hated me, not that they liked me. Perhaps they were just wanting to reconnect with me after all this time and become friends. Plus, why would I want to date my bully in school? That didn’t make sense at all.

At around 9:45am, I reached the café and ordered myself an iced mocha. No matter the weather, I would order an iced mocha as that was my go-to order and my favorite (possibly the only way) of drinking coffee. What better way than to have chocolate with your coffee? I was contently sipping my iced mocha through the straw when I noticed that Skye showed up at the entrance.

Oh, they were early too. That was good, we could get this meeting started earlier and I could then go back home and watch a movie on Netflix. 

They spotted where I was sitting after ordering their drink and quickly beelined to my direction, looking a little unhappy at themself.

“Hey, sorry that I’m late. I was hoping to be earlier than you.”

I checked the time on my watch, it was 9:59am. They were definitely not late. 

“You’re not late, in fact I’m early as I wanted to take my time and drink my coffee.”

Skye’s face softened and what I presumed was relief. 

“Oh great, let me get my order and I’ll be right back, then we can have our talk.”

They went to the pickup counter and walked back to my table. I noticed they also ordered an iced drink, and to my surprise, it was also an iced mocha.

“Ah, nothing better than an iced mocha to start the day.”

I chuckled. Skye looked at me being confused until they saw what I was drinking as well.

“I see I’m not the only one who thinks that. You must be a man of great taste.”

Man. Right, they didn’t know that I no longer identified as a man, even though I may have presented as masculine. I guess I had to tell them anyway. Plus, being genderfluid themselves, surely they would understand where I was coming from. Yes, I found it absolutely ironic that a person in LGBTQIA+ community can also be a bully, despite the stereotypes. Skye may be genderfluid in school, but they were certainly not a victim of bullying, but rather the perpetrator. 

“Person, not man. I actually came out as agender a few years ago.”

Skye’s eyes widened and started choking on their drink.

“Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting that to be the conversation starter, but I’m glad that you found your gender identity. Thank you for telling me, and sorry that I assumed that you’re a man. Just to be clear, what are your pronouns?”

Of course they would immediately apologise and correct themselves. I was glad that I told them right away. I was also glad that they asked for my pronouns and not immediately assumed that they/them pronouns were fine.

“It’s okay, I’m glad that you asked for my pronouns. I use they/he pronouns, with a preference of they/them rather than he/him, though I usually don’t correct people who use he/him as I feel comfortable with that as well. What about you? Still genderfluid and using they/them pronouns?”

I figured I should also ask just to be clear. I was aware that gender expression didn’t necessarily correlate to pronouns, but I would have assumed that they were using the same pronouns as they had in school.

“Yes, I’m still genderfluid and my pronouns are still they/them. Thanks for asking.”

Phew, glad we got that out of the way. I was very glad that I wasn’t misgendering them all this while. Now that would have been awkward.

“So now we got our pronouns and genders out of the way, what did you want to talk about, Skye? You apologised to me yesterday and said that you will explain everything to me today, so spill.”

“Right, so let me begin by saying this: I never hated you. Yes, I was jealous of you, but I never hated you. I know I have been an awful person to you, looking back I wished I never did anything to harm you. You know the Facebook hate group? Though I was a major contributor to that, I was the one who ended up deleting it as I realised I went too far with things. Those times I isolated you from the others? They were because I was jealous of all the attention you had from the others. You are kind and smart, you can get along with almost everyone, and I wished I were you. I know this doesn’t excuse any of my actions I did, but the reason why I left the school was because I knew I went too far in everything I did, and I needed help. I went for therapy and transferred to a different school as I needed a fresh start. It was then I realized that I fucked up big time, and I hurt you physically and emotionally. Again, this doesn’t excuse any of my actions but I hope this explains what I did to you, and I’m so sorry for everything. Now that I’m older, I realised I haven’t made amends to you, and that’s why I wanted to have this meeting, to apologise and to explain my actions. I am not asking for your forgiveness, but I hope you can see now where I was at.”

That was, in fact, one of the biggest bombshells dropped by anyone I knew. Skye was jealous of me? A self-proclaimed nerd in school? I definitely needed more time to process this, but I can’t help but feel sad for them. If only they seeked help earlier than the last year of school, they could have avoided all the fiascos they caused to my life. 

Was I mad at Skye? I definitely was at one point in time, but honestly, after they left, things turned for the better and I had been in a much better headspace since then. Yes, what they did was absolutely horrible, and I still had nightmares from their bullying from time to time. At the same time, they were also a teenager, and mistakes can happen. I was willing to forgive them, and hopefully start anew. 

“Skye, truth to be told, you hurt me a lot and I still have nightmares from all the trouble you have caused me. I may need more time...” Skye gave me a very apologetic look, with their eyes tearing up as soon as they heard what I said, but I pressed on, “...but I forgive you. Thank you for telling me what was going on in your mind, and honestly, I’m glad you reached out to me again. I’m also glad you seeked help and are feeling better now. Also, yes, I know you haven’t asked me yet, but I can be your friend again. It has been a while after all.”

If Skye was previously tearing up, they were crying now. They came up to me, and opened their arms and then tearfully asked me if they could hug me (Skye was an ugly crier, but so was I, so I wasn’t judging there). Being a big hugger myself, I of course agreed and gave them a comforting and long-awaited hug. My shirt was getting wet from Skye’s tears but I didn’t mind as I also started tearing up. It was indeed an emotional time for both of us, as I forgave my ex-bully and they got the forgiveness that they wanted.

After the both of us finally calmed down from our cries, Skye was looking nervous again and I couldn’t help but ask this.

“What’s the matter now, Skye? We’re friends now, tell me what’s on your mind.”

Skye took a deep breath and what came out of his mouth next startled me. 

“Thank you for agreeing to be my friend, but I have one more thing to tell you. You see, when I was in therapy, I began to sort out my feelings, and I realised something about you, Lee. I like you, Lee, not just as a friend, but I want to date you, Lee.”