"We're back," I announced and went ahead to unload and unstrap Willow.

When I neared her, she moved. As she was still excited, she shuffled on her feet and refused to stay still and allow me to work.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I clapped three times and stomped my feet, effectively gaining her attention with the command.

"Stay. All I need is a minute of your time." She grunted lowly before stationing her rump in my face. Snorting, I ignored her subtle provocation and got to do my thing.

And while I was at it, something suddenly bumped into my head, eliciting a yelp from me as I fell forward.

"Ah, shit!"

Holding onto Willow and the harness that fell to her side, away from me, I managed to catch my footing. My heart had started racing from the surprise before I turned to face the perpetrator.

Damned horse.

"Oh, hello," I answered shakily with a smile contrary to how I felt.

It was her father, Vassili.

He towered over me, the gap considerable. And it seemed like he had nudged me with his muzzle.

Awkwardly, I acknowledged his gesture with a shoulder pat of my own, which was, actually, just as far as I could reach without looking inelegant.

Heh...

He was tall, taller than Willow, and way taller than me, so he had to bend his neck in an unnatural way when playing with me.

I, on the other hand, was absolutely terrified of him.

Whenever he tried to get close to me, the feeling of looming danger consumed me, and it always made my heart skip a beat or pump dangerously harder.

I tried to keep my cool with a panicked smile as I stood beside him when the Gods knew I was freaking out.

It felt like an explosive sat on my shoulder, and a single wrong move could blow me to bits.

You could exaggerate for a living.

He could've flung me a mile off if he tried shoving me with his body.

Hah! You won't even have to work for a single day.

Ignoring my wayward thoughts, I continued.

And it wasn't just him. Their breed was just like that. Towering, menacing giants compared to the horses I'd seen accompanying travelers who stopped by the village on their travels to wherever.

Vassili currently stood at more than seven feet.

His legs were almost thicker than two of Blacksmith Jones', Oliver's father's, arms put together; They were strapping.

Apparently, they were Imperial steeds raised exclusively for war and the purpose of pure power – which explained their apparent superiority to other horses.

My paternal grandfather was given a bunch of foals as his reward for discharging his war duties commendably; decades ago.

And after years of breeding and raising them, we were left with the current family and, hopefully, not the last of them.

I'd had my concerns because I wasn't sure how we would account for the next generation.

I wasn't even willing to think about the possibility of them breeding among themselves because, yuck.

When I voiced my doubts to my Mom and Dad, they told me not to worry and that they would figure something out, but as the worrywart I was, I didn't stop.

Although worrying did nothing, there was nothing else I could do.

I chuckled and eyed his dark coat pensively, hesitantly tracing the strange patterns that shimmered under the trickling sunlight with my eyes.

The patterns were odd, but they had their mystique.

In Willow's case, the red patterns started appearing more than two years ago, and over time they spread out in a flame-like design.

They had reached her stomach now, and if her parents were any proper indicators, the patterns would cover her entirely at some point.

Mom informed me that it was a sign of adulthood.

Unlike when I watched from afar, I could not lose myself in its intricate design, as fear filled me.

Taking myself away quickly, I unclasped the gear and what-nots restricting Willow, giving her and myself the freedom we badly desired.

Patting her belly softly, I sent her off and (practically ran) went to clean the gear and sort out the supplies.

Phew.

While I worked, I forced myself to ignore the harness that hung there. For years, it had been there, never to be touched, and every time I visited, it seemed to glare at me.

"Hghfbv!" A grunt reached my ears, gaining my attention.

Sighing thankfully, I welcomed the distraction in the form of a tug of my apron. And taking my eyes away from the rack, my gaze fell upon my little savior, Paladin.

He was shorter than me, a characteristic that was bound to change in a year at least. But I had every intention of enjoying the present before the inevitable, fearful future arrived.

At three years old, he had bulk, and his dark coat had already started to resemble his father's in luster, the exception being that he had just a dot of reddish-orange on his nose.

His presence was way-less intimidating as he didn't tower over me like the rest of them. His gold irises stared at me with such childish exuberance that I couldn't help but coo as I turned to give him my undivided attention.

"How are you?!" I placed my hands on his neck and showered him with all the kisses I could afford.

If he hadn't screamed in protest and jumped out of my loving arms, I would've squeezed in a bit more of my kisses.

Taken aback, I scoffed in embarrassment. "What're you being shy for?"

He rejected my affection, and they did not come cheap after all.

I let out a huff when he returned and started nudging my satchel.

My eyes widened, "Ah, I see."

Glutton.

I wasn't surprised that he realized the fruit was there, so I dug into the bag begrudgingly and pulled out the item that never failed to send them into a frenzy.

"You want some lemmons?" I waved it around, and his equine face followed it like a ragdoll.

"Actually, I brought them for you, but we can't let Willow know that," I whispered and led him to a corner.

Checking and finding that Willow was nowhere near, I fed him the fruit. I made sure he chewed as quietly as possible to avoid unwanted attention.

I felt like a backstabber, but Paladin was too cute for me to say no.

Wuss!

Afterward, we went back and forth until I gave in to his demand and fed him a second one, reserving the last three for pregnant Odyssy and Caesar.

I had started to think that I didn't really know how to be strict.

Whatever... What's the harm anyway?

When he finished, I got him as cleaned as possible to eliminate traces and sent him off.

I resumed what I was doing before he interrupted, and soon after placing all the gear and tools back onto the rack, I had finished and was ready to go.

But...

There was only one thing left to do; visit Odyssy.

Unfortunately, that included seeing Caesar as the two of them had become inseparable recently, something I detested.

Ughhhh!

I paused for a moment and contemplated the pros and cons of doing so.

It wasn't entirely necessary for me to show up.

But Odyssy's pregnant.

Yes, I knew that. But Caesar was definitely going to be there and-

And you're avoiding him.

I had good reason to.

He's just a horse.

Ever since that incident, he'd been mean to me, and logically I couldn't blame him; heck! I still blamed myself.

That was why the better option was to never cross paths with him if possible. It was the safer option even: much of my fear of Vassili came from Caesar.

Would you not feel much worse if you let this issue prevent you from caring for Odyssy?

"Gods..." I cursed my excessively opinionated conscience.

Deep down, though, I knew the right thing to do. Although I was scared, I couldn't let the past loom over my head and, worse yet, prevent me from doing what I knew was right.

Yeah!

If I did, I would just be making another mistake. I had to confront it to prevent future regrets.

As I reinforced my convictions, fatigue suddenly mounted on my shoulders as I anticipated what could happen. I massaged my brows by habit and let out a deep breath.

You can do this!

Shaking away the lethargy that always seemed to come whenever I decided to do the right thing, I gathered myself and my thoughts.

Fueling the strength and courage I needed in my legs, I plastered an encouraging smile back and slipped away to Odyssy's stall.

The walk was dreadfully slow as I replayed every possibly damning scenario in my head.

Anxiety was a grave but familiar enemy of mine, and it decided to visit me as I thought up, in hindsight, absurd scenarios.

Get a grip!

It wasn't long before I stood before the familiar lacquered redwood door with an 'O' engraved on it.

Uncomfortable silence loomed as I hesitated and let out a sigh, knowing that avoiding the inevitable was no longer possible.

I had gotten here already. I might as well get it over with, right...?.

Nodding my head decisively, I pushed on the stall handle and walked in with feet shaking more than I'd liked to admit.

The stalls were comfortable for horses of their size, and since Mom and Dad never planned to restrict them: the stable was built with flexibility in mind.

It could fit no more than two horses their size comfortably, though, and the scene in front of me proved that fact well enough.

Damn!

Odyssy laid on her side, the bulge in her abdomen painfully visible from where I stood. She seemed restless as she was. I pitied her somewhat, in fact.

According to our calculations, this was the ninth month of gestation, so she wasn't comfortable or at ease as she was pre-pregnancy.

At that moment, pregnancy seemed to scream 'PAIN' at me, and, unconsciously, I gripped my abdomen.

I couldn't imagine what she was going through, nor did I want to experience it, ever.

I planned to fight off whichever demonic bastard intended to put me in such a debacle.

Caesar stood on her right and stared outside the stable windows.

As my eyes roamed around the place, I noticed Odyssy had tilted her head and was looking back at me.

"Hi." I let go of the door, allowing it to swing back.

The creaking of the doors probably drew her attention.

She neighed weakly while I waved at her before gently placing her head back on the straw bedding.

Sigh.

My sympathy towards the discomfort she felt rode me off my hesitation, and I went to crouch beside her, obviously ignoring Caesar.

I noticed how he didn't even spare me a glance, unlike Odyssy, but I turned and didn't pay it any mind. Odyssy's situation was much more vital at the moment.

Crouching beside her, I gave her the most soothing massage I could manage. It was the least I could do.

I couldn't help the smile that tugged on my lips when she started groaning gently, as it meant I was doing something right...

Someone would beg to disagree.

"You will be fine. The girl will be amazing. The tough times won't last; only tough people... or horses last." I soothed, unsure whether I was genuinely referring to her or myself.

Either way, I didn't want to find out. It promised to be messy, you see.

Anyway, watching Odyssy's behavioral pattern for the past few months, we were sure the foal would be a filly-a female horse.

Dad had this chart where he documented behavioral patterns and tied them to gender, and so far, they were accurate.

I was still stuck choosing a name, but I had a few options. I just hadn't decided which one would be best. So I thought, why not leave it for when the foal came.

Whatever last-minute inspiration I got would help influence my decision-making, rightly, I hoped.

"I brought some lemmons. One for you and the baby, since you two share a stomach, I guess." I whispered with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure you've had breakfast already, so you can just have this as a snack."

Fetching it from my bag, I placed the fruit directly before her mouth so she could get to it whenever she wanted to without much fuss.

I turned to Caesar unwillingly and swallowed as I approached him cautiously.

Here we go.

"This last one is for you."

Putting a reasonable distance between us, I placed the fruit on the ground and tipped it over to him.

Okay.

Still keeping my distance, I checked for any reaction from him.

There was nothing.

What were you expecting, though? A romantic hug?

Come off it!

Abruptly everything seemed to stretch, and an endless distance appeared between us. Worse yet, the horse didn't care. It probably didn't even realize what was happening.

Damn.

I started to feel stupid for even expecting anything, for overthinking everything. Caesar was just a damn horse, yet, I could not help how I felt.

He is not the issue, Daphne.

You know who is; You know what is. Seeing the horse just reminds you.

Temporarily ignoring my thoughts, I turned back and said, "See you later, Ody," then bolted out of there.

I was overly emotional all of a sudden, and I needed to calm down.

But I couldn't do it there; I needed out.

Out of life, if possible.

The inevitable loomed, and its thumping presence fueled my legs into a shuffle as the control slowly slipped through my fingers.

I started feeling cold suddenly, yet my eyes burned.

Without a second thought, I grabbed my stuff and left there; all I saw was a blur.

Shit! Shit!

As I stepped through the door and my face tightened, I understood what was coming. But I didn't want it; I preferred to smile as Sage had encouraged for gods-sake.

I stood outside the door in the fresh air and could not move an inch.

"Don't cry, don't cry. You've had enough of that today." I chanted as I bent my head backward, attempting to swallow back the tears, but it didn't work.

I deserve it.

I felt it burst as my mouth went all crooked-like.

"Dammit! Why do you only know how to cry? Where did your logic go?!" I hissed under my breath as my breathing had already picked up.

As I felt my heart thump heavily, I realized I couldn't go inside the house. I felt my face scramble as I tried tensing my facial muscles to a stop.

"Don't fucking cry! Don't you dare be so weak!" I scolded furiously, unable to accept how wilful my emotions were. They held so much sway; it was insolent!

I sniveled after a while of trembling shoulders and dabbing tears.

"Okay..."

"Breathe..."

I began my exercises, and thankfully they didn't fail me.

I took shaky breaths after shaky breaths, forcing the tears back, holding them right where they were, before gathering the strength to push them even further back inside.

I repeated the exercise until I felt my heart beat at a pace I deemed steady enough. And letting out one final deep breath, I shook the unease out of my body.

There we go.