"Could you not say it like that?" He smiled wryly.

When I was younger, it was a fun activity where we got together and made things from wood. And he saw it as a good idea to always carve up something different each year as a gift.

The carvings were exquisite. Dad had top-notch skills in that department, but eventually, the carvings became repetitive and took up a lot of space. I still liked them, regardless. The effort mattered more to me.

Last year, he made a sculpture of me reading in this very leather seat, and it was amazingly detailed. His ability with knives was frightening.

After I gave him a look that perfectly conveyed my thoughts, he sighed and shook his head.

"Well, I have two things for you this time."

I sat up in attention as he stood to get whatever those 'things' were.

"Originally, I was going to give you another figurine." I shook my head internally at his hopelessness but didn't plan on rejecting it either way.

"Then, I changed my mind and decided to give you this along with it." He turned around with the carving and a small red box in his hands.

I eyed the box first but decided to turn my attention to the figurine since staring at the box wasn't getting me any answers.

He walked over and settled in the chair beside me, placing the figurine on the side table and presenting the box to me.

"This is a family heirloom." He dropped the box onto my waiting palms.

"It belonged to your great-grandmother, Eliane." I nodded as I recalled the name from when I memorized the family tree.

"Initially, I planned to give it to you when you turned twenty-one. But I changed my mind and thought you should have it sooner."

I nodded, understanding without questioning much while stealing small glances at the relatively more eye-catching sculpture.

"Open it."

"Okay," I whispered and pulled the velvet cover, revealing a ring.

It was silver with what I assumed was a ruby gemstone, clutched into place by five thin clasps.

After a while, he started, "My grandmother was a strong woman, a huntress. She taught my father much of what he knew. I learned a lot from her."

He leaned over to me as he spoke.

"She was what I had for a time after he passed away. And as you know, my mother was not present, so she was that too."

I could vaguely see the vicissitudes of life flashing within his eyes as they gleamed under the fire.

"One day, when I was fifteen, I enlisted myself in the army because I wanted her to take a break from raising me. The pressures were high for an old woman, you know?" I nodded as he smiled wistfully.

"A few years after, I met your mother."

This part, I knew.

The former part, I only knew bits and pieces of. Dad had a habit of making some situations storytime.

Although it exhausted me, it made me appreciate his presence. Whenever I tried imagining myself in his place, I felt lucky.

He continued, "She was strict. She would've made Jill look like a sitting duck."

"More than Mom? I find that hard to believe." I chuckled as I imagined a female version of Dad holding up her slippers and beating him.

"Both of you share the same scowl, you know?" He remarked.

"Are you joking?" I laughed as I now saw my scowl from the funny end.

"Seeing it this morning made me decide to give this to you." He solemnly said as he turned to face the fire.

I nodded softly.

Hm?

"Wait." I whipped my head to face him.

"I did not have a scowl this morning," I remembered because I trained my face to present a smile.

He kept looking into the fireplace without saying anything for a while.

I watched his facial expression morph as though he was deciding the best way to reply.

"Sure." He said, tapping his cheeks, a telltale sign that he wasn't in agreement.

"Sure?" I asked back.

"You can never hide that scowl from me. I practically grew up with it." He mocked and snapped his fingers at me.

Hmph!

Making a face at him, I hoped he wouldn't see it.

"I saw that." I rolled my eyes at him.

Then he sat up, placing his hands over mine, "This ring belonged to a strong woman. I hope some of that strength helps you when the time comes."

I nodded at his seriousness.

"Anyway, the ring is now yours. If you lose it, you had better jump off a cliff because Ma will come for you." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Thank you. And If you didn't lose it after all these years, then it's in safe hands."

"Ha!" He chuckled loudly.

"Next." I covered the ring and kept it in a pocket as he turned to hand over the next gift, the figurine.

"I wasn't sure what theme to take when I wanted to make this." He gestured at the object.

"But eventually, I came to a conclusion. The theme is 'Always and Forever' dear."

He made a revealing motion as if I hadn't already seen the object.

I didn't need a second glance to know who sat at the center. But staring at the three spindly figures that swirled around and held hands: I hesitated.

"Is this?" I asked shakily.

My words got stuck as I stared at the painfully familiar figure.

"You have entered a new and independent phase in your life. Sadly, we won't always be together." He proceeded to explain.

"Either way, we love you immensely."

Shit.

I faced him, searching for what they all saw in me because either I was blind to it, or it didn't exist. They were supposed to love me as my family, but what if they weren't? What would I have had if we had no blood ties?

I knew I had much negativity inside me, but I couldn't help the feeling.

The thoughts pushed for tears, but I held them back by biting my lips and keeping the hold alive through the pain.

"We?" I asked, knowing he would understand.

"Yes, we." He answered, cradling the side of my head.

"We hover around you, protecting you, loving and cherishing you. We raised you, and you are our family."

I turned away from him, unable to bring myself to see the pride in his eyes.

I didn't deserve it.

"Regardless of the past, present, or future, We will love you, Always and Forever."

They seemed to love me, but I couldn't find that love for myself within me. All that was left was this basic instinct to survive.

It was what kept me.

"We are proud of the person you've become."

"But I am not," I confessed without hesitation.

He frowned in response. He was confused, but I only shook my head and said, "I can't be."

"Why?"

No.

I couldn't answer.

I feared their reactions if I were to tell them more. I had kept this secret for years, and I felt like dying for it.

But I could shoulder the guilt if it meant not changing how they looked at me. If, it meant giving them peace of mind, I was willing to do anything.

But even so, I needed to atone. I wanted to. But I had no chance to.

No one talked about him.

"It was yesterday, Dad." My eyes watered as I changed the subject.

With a sigh, he looked away and said. "I know."

Then my vision blurred, "Yet, we did nothing except eat our meals." My voice started breaking into tiny squeaks, "We said nothing." I whispered painfully.

While looking into the fire, he went on, "I know yesterday must have been tough for you-"

"Tough is an understatement, Dad." I laughed derisively. True, we all felt the loss, but it seemed like he underestimated how I felt, and I blamed neither of them. I was too scared to speak.

Sighing, he sat further into the chair, "It was equally difficult for us, especially your mother."

Heh.

At the mention, I laughed dryly, "I find that quite hard to believe. Mom seemed fine and-"

"Do not say that, Daphne." His voice turned stern, and he suddenly gripped my hand tightly.

"Then why don't we ever say anything?" I wanted an answer that didn't confess to them being cowards.

Aren't you also one?

I was starting to feel provoked, and my eyes burned more, only furthering how worse I felt.

"It's just..." he hesitated.

"Everyone deals differently-"

"That is being selfish."

So are you.

I cut him off, ready to call it what it was.

"Daphne." He let out a shaky sigh.

Watching him, I saw how misty his eyes got as he stared long and hard into the fire.

"It is... facing reality," he answered after a while.

I scoffed reflexively, unwilling to take a light answer.

"Facing reality would be acknowledging every day. It would be owning up to everything, not avoiding." I spoke to myself as much as to him.

Hypocrite.

"Our priority is you now. We will do right by you and focus on doing so. We have to do what is right for you." His lips quivered, and it nearly broke me.

No!

But it didn't change that I disagreed with what he said. Knowing what I knew, I wasn't the one who needed care and focus. I didn't deserve it.

I was the one to be punished, but I was too scared to admit it.

"This is not right... for me, Dad." I choked on the tears that started falling.

It is killing me.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

Why?!

It's all my fault, though! No one would blame or resent you...

I caused this.

"You know him. He would've wanted this for you."

Oh, Gods.

He was right, and it was painful. But he was right.

All the more reason I felt extremely horrible. That I could do such a thing and yet... still be loved.

"For his sake and all ours."

It was what he wanted, but it didn't mean it was right. Bad people needed to suffer for the bad things they did. But I was too much of a coward to suffer fully.

But maybe suffering in the dark was the worst type? Perhaps I was already atoning, but I couldn't know. I didn't even deserve to know.

I deserved this confusion.

I was not any better than the rest of them.

"Okay, then. Thank you for the gifts." I said, ready for the tear-filled discussion to be over and done with.

"You are welcome." He sighed from the corner.

Clamping my eyes shut, I swallowed back my tears. Soon, I nodded, accepting the figurine but not the love that came with it. I didn't have the guts.

Then I stood up and reached the door, stopping as I remembered something.

"Oh, and Mom said that you should bring her the meat," I mentioned, remembering why I was even in the study in the first place.

Suddenly, he started, stopping me in my tracks, "Wait."

What now?

I lowered my head and sighed.

"Do you remember when you were eight and fell down some rocks and scraped your knee?" He chuckled from behind me.

I remembered that day, every single word, everything.

He continued, "You tried keeping it in despite how much pain you were in. I saw the tears build-up, but you kept holding back."

I nodded my head, unsure of whether he even saw. Then I waited to see what he was getting at.

"And when I asked why, you said that you were not allowed to cry since it was your fault. You didn't listen when I told you to stop." He let out an audible breath before laughing the following sentence out.

"And you said that you didn't want me to cry."

"I found your maturity funny because I thought, 'why is she trying to act so grown up? That's my job'. Then you threw a fit with me when I said you were just a child, and you didn't need to worry about me crying."

"I remember. What's your point?" I cut in, unable to hear anymore, as there was one other person he had conveniently cut out of the story.

"You have always had a strong sense of justice. But know this, the world is not strictly black and white."

"You should give yourself a break. You are plenty brave already."

I snorted quietly before replying.

"Okay."

Then I left.

What he knew and who I really was, were not the same people.

I was a coward and a hypocrite.

How I would juggle either of the two labels, I didn't know.