Ciaran's POV:

The castle used to be warm, before Vladimir and Daliah took over. I shiver and Rowan pulls me closer, one of his arms around me and resting over my lower stomach, because the other his connected to a long chain that is embedded into the wall. The blankets we have are old and do not keep us very warm, but Rowan's body heat combined with my own makes me feel a bit safer.

After we showered, Master thankfully only using my mouth and leaving Rowan alone, we were told to go to bed, only I in the revealing clothes and Rowan in tight underwear and his own shirt.

I am thankful that Master has not forced him into the revealing clothing that I am stuck in. It would not only be so much colder for Rowan, but I know he would be embarrassed and ashamed to wear it.

He already has that horrible, forced piercing; I do not wish for him to be shamed because I know that Rowan is proud and I cannot let him be broken.

I feed from his strength, and I rely on him when he is strong. I also know that Rowan relies on me and uses my relaxed nature to calm him, and I have strength as well that he relies on. I cannot let him down, and I know that Rowan will not let me down.

He is asleep behind me, and our bodies are slightly apart, since his belly button piercing is most likely throbbing and hurting him.

My leg is cuffed and connected to a chain that is embedded into the wall, and I am grateful that the chains connected to myself and Rowan are long enough that we can reach each other.

I know the chains are temporary; once Master breaks us down enough we will be able to wander the castle because we will lose hope. I can only hope we will be freed before then, because I do not know how long I will be able to handle the shame and torture Master will present me.

He broke me, and Rowan has healed me.

I just do not know if I can be healed a second time.

Rowan groans behind me, and I am sure it is from pain, and he holds me tighter. "Are you still awake?" he whispers in my ear.

"I am now."

"Do not lie, I can tell you have not slept," Rowan says, and I am thankful for his lighthearted tone. "We need to start planning, Ciaran."

I hum in agreement, but I cannot push away the guilt that bubbles up in me. "I'm sorry, Rowan," I whisper. "I should be stronger, I should have never let my kingdom be taken over-"

"Ciaran, please," he whispers, and I know he wants me to be quiet. "You were a child. What could you have done?"

Tears prick at my eyes, because there is nothing I could have done, honestly. It still upsets me, but it is the truth. I was fifteen years old and had been sheltered most of my life.

Gods, if I had been able to connect with my people at least I would have potentially made friends who would have supported me. I do not even know where my head guard ended up, as well as the other guards who I was close with.

I assume they were executed, but I never saw their bodies. Otherwise, I think they would have tried to save me. My guards were expected to protect me as their job, yes, but I also got along with them very well.

They were my friends, and I guess they are probably dead now, or they escaped an are living in a village somewhere. I hope they are, because at least that means they're alive.

"Ciaran, we will get out of here," Rowan promises me, and I know it is true, but at what cost?

"Yes, but what if I lose you? Or I am killed? What if we are broken to the point where it is not worth escaping?" I ask.

Rowan sighs in disappointment. "Do not think like that," he says, still keeping his voice silent, kissing the back of my head. "We will get out of here, I know we will. You have a kingdom to take back and I have enemies to kill."

I love this man so much.

"I adore you, Rowan," I say, turning awkwardly so I can kiss him. "How you can keep me so positive and comfort me when you have been treated like a slave, I do not know, but I love that about you. I do not know where I would be without you."

Rowan chuckles. "Probably in the same place you are right now, but it will not be for long. We are a strong pair and we will get out of here."

I nod, finally feeling as though I can relax. "Goodnight, Rowan," I whisper, kissing his lips and wrapping my own arms around him while he squeezes me even tighter. "I promise, I will do what I can to keep him from hurting you."

"Ah, get in line, because I am going to protect you first."

A rare smile comes to my face as I fall asleep.

•••

When I wake up, it is to someone grabbing my waist and scratching my skin. It makes me scream because the fingers piercing my skin hurt.

I turn my head around and see Master grabbing Rowan, which must have startled him and caused him to scratch my side. Of course, Rowan looks guilty and I know he wants to apologize, but I shoot him a pleading look, begging him to be silent.

"Get up," Master orders, and I can tell he is in a terrible mood this morning. He takes the chain off my leg, leaving an angry red mark where the cuff was. "Go get breakfast for me. I would like to have a bit of time with my new toy."

No, no, no!

"Please, Master, let me-"

He slaps me across the face, and I feel tears pricking at my eyes for Rowan, because I wish for him to stay pure and not used by this horrible, pathetic excuse of a man.

"Go, now!"

I cast Rowan a teary look.

He seems to understand what is about to happen, and he manages to force a smile. "I will be okay, Ciaran," he says, and I hate that he is the one facing torture yet he has to comfort me. "I will be okay."

I cannot leave, but Master drops Rowan and grabs me by the shoulder and shoves me out the door.

"Go get me breakfast, now."

I do not have a choice but to obey, so I rush down the hall and to the kitchen, where the same staff that has been here since Vladimir and Daliah took over is working.

"Well, look who is back," one of them says, and it sounds condescending, but I see the pity in his eyes. "We hoped you had gotten away."

"Aye! Keep yer voice down!" an older woman hisses, glaring at the man who just spoke to me. "Breakfast for the head guard, darlin?"

I nod, and she makes quick work of putting together a tray of food for Master. When I have the tray in hand, I thank them all and smile weakly when they wish me luck.

These people only are here a few times a day to make meals, and they have always been kind to me. They live in the village and have been around since I was young, I assume, but I only ever met them when I started serving Master.

I make my way back to Master's room, and when I open the door, I drop the tray, the food clattering all over the floor. In the past, I'd never dare to go near Master without permission, but he is assaulting the love of my life.

~warning: sexual assault~

Tears are streaming down Rowan's face as he is forced to endure Master using his mouth and throat, a sight that breaks my heart. Without taking time to think about or regret it, I sprint at Master and connect my fist with his nose, making him groan and fall back.

~end of assault~

Rowan's hands are tied behind him, and I undo the knots.

We have the upper hand; we must escape.

Rowan catches onto this and rushes over to grab the tray that Master's food fell off of, tossing me the fork and dull knife that were with his meal.

Master rushes at us, but I stay calm and remember what Soto taught me; I position the knife in my hand and throw it, the blade connecting with Master's eye.

Rowan grabs my hand and we run through the door, and I lead him to the kitchen where the crew is cleaning up.

"Come on, we must escape!" I exclaim, refusing to leave my people behind again. "Arlian will offer is shelter!"

The head cook, the older woman, shakes her head. "No, sweetheart, we will slow you down." She hands knives to both myself and Rowan. "We will get word around the kingdom... all they want is freedom from the current king and queen, and all you have to do is start the battle."

The cooks all stand in front of the door to the kitchen while the head cook leads us to the door to the outside world.

"Go," she whispers, and myself and Rowan obey, sprinting out and rushing toward the woods.

We hear screams and yells in the courtyard of the castle, and I know that someone is after us.

Gods, we have to go faster!

We do not have a horse to escape on this time, but we will find something.

I know we will.

My future with Rowan is too bright; we cannot fail now!

A sudden sharp pain stops all of my thoughts, and I find myself on my knees. As I look down, I see the tip of an arrow sticking through the side of my stomach... there is so much blood.

"Ciaran?" Rowan asks, and I touch the tip of the arrow, which only brings me more pain. "Gods, please no! Ciaran, get up, please, we have to move!"

I cannot move.

There is too much pain, and my head is feeling weak. I just want to lay down and rest... is this what dying feels like? Am I going to die and leave Rowan?

Rowan has sat down, and he pulls me into his chest, cradling me like a baby. "Ciaran, please. Please, do not die on me. I need you, Ciaran. I love you so much and you are the only thing in this world keeping me going. Do not let go! Please!" He is sobbing, and I want him to stop, but I know that he will not listen and I feel too tired to comfort him.

"Go," I whisper, knowing that guards have to be near, and if not now, they will find us soon. "Go, Rowan. They will find you."

He shakes his head. "I will not leave you," he says, tears dripping down his face and landing on my body. "Please, do not leave me. I will not be able to go on without you."

I force a smile, reaching up to wipe his tears, thankfully able to reach his face. "I love you, Rowan. Thank you for giving me the best months of my life, for saving me... You will see me in the stars, my love."

His sobs echo in the air as I take a shuttered breath and close my eyes.

As I do so, I hear footsteps and voices surround us.

Gods, I hope that I die quick so he can at least have time to understand I am gone so he can still escape. It breaks my heart to leave him, but I think I am out of time.