When I returned, I looked at Jim’s office, and in the window, I could see Tina wiping tears from her eyes. I immediately went over to see what happened in the short time I was at the claims department. 

Knocking on Jim’s door, his voice behind the door said, “Come in.” Opening the door, Jim was sitting with his legs propped up on his desk, leaning back with his hand behind his head. Now looking at the mug closer, it was the mug I gave Jim on international boss’s day was at his feet. On both sides, it said World’s #1 Boss. Jim wore a stupid, smug grin.

Jim’s grin grew wider as he looked me in the eye. “What great timing, Kevin. We were just talking about the mug you gave me back when you completed your first century at the office. Don’t you remember it?” 

“Yeah, you had two arms back then,” I said, taking a seat next to Tina. I waved my hand in the air and a tissue box appeared in my hand. I placed the box in front of Tina, and she took a tissue from it to wipe her tears, then she blew her nose. 

For a second, the grin turned into a scowl, but then it snapped back to its original position. “That’s right, good times. Anyway, Tina came in to fight for your promotion. It turns out she succeeded, but what was the condition again?”

Tina, through her sobbing, spoke up. “For Kevin to get promoted, I need to take a demotion.” 

“That’s right; there simply aren’t any more positions available, unless Tina is willing to go back to being an acolyte,” Jim said. 

That scumbag! We both know there is one more open position to fill. Tina doesn’t know, but Jim needs my help with managing the budget for the department, and we have had enough to promote me for the last century. Jim’s just being cruel to the poor girl. “You know what!? I’m done with this place!” I said. 

Jim started to sit up, feet now on the floor, eyebrows creasing. “What do you mean, you’re done? You don’t mean you’re…” 

“Yes Jim, I’m quitting and leaving this horrible place. I hope you spend eternity miserable!” I said, taking off my hat and lighting it on fire in my hand. 

“Whoa, Whoa, Kevin! What are you doing!? We’re in a tree! Put that fire out!” Jim panicked, now rolling his chair away from his desk. 

Oh shit, that’s right! 

I quickly extinguished the flames in my hand until only the black ash of my hat was left. Looking over, Tina was no longer crying, but relieved that she would not die in a burning tree. Jim remained dazed as his chest rapidly rose and fell.

I still wanted to make a flashy exit, so I smacked the mug off his desk. The cup shattered when it hit the adjacent wall; then I ran out of the office, grabbed a magic broom as a souvenir and fled from this 9 to 5 prison. Then jumped out of the nearest window, standing on the broom like a surf board I flew at maximum speed back home.

When my adrenaline returned to normal levels, and I was now a few hundred miles away, all I could think was: What’s next?  

I became a minimalist a century ago, which left me with a stockpile of money. Anyone I knew before the call center is ruling their own section of the underworld, attending to their divine duties, or has long since died. 

Maybe I could find that evil wizard bastard that cursed me, or I could build a new, more impressive castle. Wait, maybe I’ll start a business. Maybe I could find two other buddies and we can adventure together as a trio. Oh, wait, maybe I’ll become an author! Ah, what does it matter? I’ll do it all. Eternity is a long time, after all. 

I waved my wand in the air, making a circle in front of me. In the center of the circle, an image appeared of a woman lying in a bed on her side, head on the pillow. It was Nyx.

“Darling, you're calling at such an unusual time. Did you get off work early?” Nyx said, yawning. It was still in the afternoon and I must have woken her. 

“No, I quit babe.” After I said it, she shot up, eyes wide, jaw dropped. Before she could say anything, I continued, “I’ll tell you all about it when I am home, but first, do you have any spell books?”