I felt like shit.

Usually, I felt somewhat terrible at all times, but right now, I felt shittier than shit.

I wasn't sure if it was because I refused to tell the truth out of cowardice or because I kept them wandering in the dark despite their confidence in me.

They had no idea, yet I watched silently, bathing in love and affection that I didn't deserve, that someone else did.

Sigh.

Feeling distasteful, I peeled myself off the door, unwilling to stay there any longer.

As I walked out of the corridor and to the stairs, I felt it brimming inside me; the onset of an unpleasant feeling I knew all too well.

It was shame.

But it was less potent than the feeling of disappointment I risked by telling the truth.

Years of disappointment, possibly even disgust, and most likely hatred; were the things I risked if I were to speak.

And so, I wasn't going to.

They are already sad enough as it is.

I comforted myself with the thought as I made it to my room. Ironically, I felt shame instead at the attempt.

At times like these, I wondered what; the best possible way to resolve everything was.

I wondered if pushing away my thoughts would work, but it only brought more guilt.

And, seemingly, there was no solution...

Except for one.

I stopped at the doorway, taking in the bedroom as my thoughts swam.

Exactly.

There was only one way out, only one. It was more of a temporary relief than an answer to my questions.

It was Sage.

Yet as guilty as I felt, I wasn't willing to deprive myself of her.

Or rather, I wasn't willing to disappoint her, who knew of my secret, and yet didn't shame me for it as I had myself.

I couldn't handle knowing I had disappointed her or anyone else.

So going to the party was more for her than for me. I would've been content with reading and sobbing quietly in a corner.

Nodding, I gathered myself and resolved to navigate this oppressive feeling in time for later tonight.

But before that, I needed to tidy up my mess for a room.

Yuck!

Scrunching up my nose, I nearly gagged in disgust.

My eyes scanned over the things I had tossed around earlier in the day out of anger. The previously sweat-soaked sheets had now dried and carried an unpleasant stench, which had spread already.

Stepping into the room, I skillfully avoided the stray books that had found themselves lying open on the floor.

So maybe I had omitted the part about raging after breakfast. But it didn't matter, did it?

Everyone had an ugly side to them; some the sides of their faces and others their foreheads.

One of mine was raging. But I tried to do it as less often as I could.

But alas, I broke the three-month streak.

Fuck.

Looking around, I lamented the devil that urged me as I got to work picking my pink floral panties from above my hair brush.

Sighing lazily, I picked bonny and started fluffing her, leaving James watching as his partner got the first touch.

"Don't stare at me like that," I scolded the pillow.

"You were first this morning, and thus you will be last now."

James had a habit of being greedy, whereas I needed to be fair and impartial to both of them.

And it totally wasn't weird I named my pillows. Sage confirmed it, and if she did, then she was right, and everyone else was wrong.

Turning to bonny's familiar three petal clover embroidery, courtesy of yours truly, I heard a knock on the door.

*knock**knock*

Gasp!

Instantly, I whipped to stare at the source of the sound and then back at the mess my room was.

Someone's there.

And even though I was almost halfway done; it still resembled a victim of a natural disaster, even if I had never seen one.

"Do. Not. Come. In," I spat with as much force as I could muster in that short time before tossing Bonny and James to the side window.

"Sorry!" I apologized with haste as they crashed before grabbing onto the sheets.

Dragging and rolling it into a bundle, I also tossed it to the side. It landed by the table and was blocked by the bed frame, effectively blocking it out of view from the door.

Perfect!

I didn't need anyone wondering what had happened to my sheets. Nor did I want them wondering why, what had happened, happened.

Thankfully, I had picked up the items on the floor, so my sprint to the door was smooth and undeterred.

Hand on the handle, I opened the door just a crack, inspecting my visitor.

What's he doing here?

It was Dad.

He stood, fist up as though he had been about to knock again.

"What is happening in there? I heard some weird sounds." He asked with a raised brow.

Act natural.

Tilting my head to the side and avoiding his gaze, I wondered how best to reply before settling for, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" with a stellar smile.

"If you are not letting me in, the least you could do is come out. I do not think you want to have a long discussion about etiquette with your mother, now, do you?" He blinked daringly.

And I knew better than to dare.

"Three steps back, please, daddy." I beamed at him.

With a nod, he complied, giving me space to slip out of the room, banging the door shut.

"Now, as you were." I bowed lightly at the neck, acting totally not out of character.

Don't be so obvious bitch!

I cringed inwardly as I realized that I was acting anything but natural.

Thankfully he didn't seem to have noticed.

He clapped and said, "Right, I realized I had forgotten something."

"And what might that have been?"

"A birthday hug!" He roared as he opened his giant arms.

F*********

I shuddered reflexively, recalling every birthday hug I had ever received. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, mirroring his enthusiasm with my horror.

"It wasn't a question, darling!" With that, he swooped in at near lightning speed, sending my heart dropping into my stomach.

Shit!

"Ah!" I screamed as I ducked, taking advantage of our difference in sizes.

"Come on, Amare!" He whined with a pained look as if I confiscated his cigar.

"I refuse to be hugged, Dad. I refuse, respectfully!"

We were now standing on opposite sides.

"You have no choice," He deadpanned with a lazy yet creepy smile.

"What do you mean?! Of course, I do!" Once again, I shuddered at the thought of not having a choice in whether or not to hug him.

"I mean, You. Are. Cornered," He pointed behind me.

Darnit!

I cursed under my breath as I realized he was right. I was standing with the window behind me while he stood, blocking the way out of the corridor.

"W-well.. I am not going down that easily!" I spat with a frightened frown.

Slowly, he continued with a wicked grin, "We. Shall. See."

Suddenly, his expression went tense as she widened his feet, lowering himself into an almost crouching position with his hands still outstretched.

Shitshitshitshitshitshit!!!

I felt like a deer caught in headlights as my alarm bells went off at an alarming pace.

"D-Dad... You don't have to do this..." I started with a slight edge to my tone before softening, "...please?"

I gave him the best and most effective, 'aren't I, your princess whom you'd do anything-even murder a population-for?'

Watching with begging eyes, I noticed his creepy expression soften and his stance slacken.

Yes!

For a moment, I rejoiced that I had gotten through to him secretly, even if just a little bit. It meant there was the hope of avoiding this nightmare waiting to happen.

Well, that was until...

No!

My expression morphed from terror to unwilling defeat when his voice boomed, "Ha!"

"Ahhh-"

Suddenly, I felt the floor leave my feet, even though it was most likely the opposite. My vision swayed as he hoisted me upwards abruptly.

For much longer than a second, I was out of it, the situation taking a moment to register.

Sh*t, it happened!!

I started panicking as he started moving.

"You're heavy. What do you eat?" I felt my face go red. Coupled with the fact that my stomach had started wrenching, the embarrassment didn't help.

You never called a girl fat!

Or heavy!

"P-please p-put me d-down..." My vision started losing focus as the panic settled into my head.

Shit!

I wasn't scared of heights, more specifically, not the heights that didn't move.

From where he buried his face in my stomach, he murmured, "What did you say?"

I gulped as I felt my upset stomach tremble even more, "I said-"

Thud!

"Oww!"

I groaned when I felt my head hit the ceiling.

The ceilings were very high, and if I had managed to hit them, I was very high too.

Awwww.

I had already started to feel faint.

Gods why?!

As a last-ditch attempt, I tried dangling my legs, fighting to be released.

I nearly fainted at his response.

"Hmmm...My baby." He said, hoisting me even further while adjusting his hold on me, a tad bit too tight.

Now he's suffocating-

Thud!

I wasn't even allowed to yelp when I collided with the roof again!

"D-dad... I c-can't breathe!" I choked out, patting his back hurriedly, remembering he usually got carried away during these sentimental moments that were otherwise traumatic for me.

Unfortunately, when he replied with an absentminded hum, I realized a sloppy approach wouldn't work.

It never has!

"O-okay. T-that's. Enough. Mister!" I shouted, expelling what little air I had left.

I am not sorry for this.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't have been able to do what I did next. But because I was so high, I could employ unordinary means.

If you're going to blame anyone, blame yourself!

Without hesitation, I flung my head and arms backward before swooping in like a half-dead eagle.

Soft;

was the first thought I had as my nails found their grip within his locks.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

Since I gripped them as though my life depended on them, which it did, I didn't stop at just grabbing them.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!!"

Oh? It's surprisingly longer than before.

So, his concoctions did work!

As I dragged his head forward with his hair on both sides, I noticed them uncurl and become longer than I remembered. I attributed his gains to the secret recipe he'd been bragging about recently.

"Hey!!!!"

Heh!

But I couldn't pay more attention, as, soon after, I was dropped violently onto the floor, my legs buckling from wrong positioning and the sudden contact with a hard surface.

"Owww..." I whimpered from the sharp pain that shot up to my waists.

Raising my head quickly, I sent him a death stare.

"Next year..." I started.

"I'll await you with a murder weapon."

Not caring whether my threat had the desired effect or not, I hissed, then quickly shifted from my knees.

Sitting comfortably on the floor, I massaged the ache that steadily grew in my heels and kneecaps.

"Hmph!"

I harrumphed when I noticed he had a sour expression and was ruffling his hair.

His vanity would cause his downfall.

"What was that for?" He grunted displeasedly.

"You were choking me!" I shot back.

Huffing, I turned my attention to my injuries.

Oh?

Pressing lightly on the bruised area, I noticed the pain receding at a detectable pace.

Magic really is marvelous.

"Ah. I didn't realize."

His slightly apologetic tone caught my attention. But I knew it was a lie.

"Ah. I didn't realize." I replied sarcastically.

"You could at least seem apologetic for pulling out my hair. I spent the whole morning on it." He muttered, sending me a wronged look.

I returned him a dirty look instantly.

"I will not because I am not." I eyed his figure with derision.

"Now, will that be all, Dad?" I stared pointedly from the floor.

He stared back silently, probably contemplating what to say.

Then he spoke, "Are you okay, though?"

"What do you think?" Smiling as sweetly as possible, I got to my feet and said, "Ta-da!"

It was the fakest smile I had, but I felt it'd do the job.

"Are you sure?"

Tsk.

I did a double-take of his worried expression, wondering why he was suddenly pushing.

"If you were going to be this worried, you should not have given me a death hug." I crossed my arms in annoyance.

"Uh, one," he started with a smug look, "it is called a birthday hug. Two, you never fell with such force during the past hugs-"

"Well, there is a first time for everything." I cut the conversation short.

Silence briefly passed as he pouted slightly.

"Hey." he scolded.

Sighing, I unfurled my arms, "You have given me; the hug. What else can I do for you?"

Our previous conversation was still fresh in my mind, although cleaning had helped suppress it. But now, I wasn't cleaning and thus felt a bit too sour to converse.

I stared uninterestedly; while he stared back with a frown. All I wanted to do was retreat into my space.

Then, as always, he broke the chain with a sigh and asked, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

I rolled my eyes, unable to accept that he didn't take the hint that I wanted to be left alone.

"Like what?"

I made sure to make as evident as possible what I wanted.

Suddenly, he pulled his dad face, his brows knitted in a stern manner, before he said, "Stow the attitude, young lady."

Tsk.

Dad wasn't incapable. He was just rarely capable, and this was one of those times.

I readjusted my stance, deciding within myself to answer more truthfully because I wanted to avoid waking a sleeping baby dragon. It would not do me any good if I did.

"Even if there was, would anyone listen to me?" I answered more clearly and truthfully.

Yeah, I thought so.

I thought as I saw his calculating expression. If the truth were easy to say, he would not hesitate. I didn't plan on holding it against them anyway: which was why, I preferred not to say anything.

But he didn't intend to leave me be without an answer.

Soon, he nodded slowly, then said, "Although the track record says otherwise, I would say it depends on the issue."

Wow.

That is it; This is enough.

I shook my head, "Just..."

"Let's drop it there, da-"

"No."

I let out a heavy breath instantly.

"I will owe you a favor, then."

What?

My eyes brightened instantly at the promise.

I had wondered how I was to get to the party later today, and it seemed like I had just gotten assistance from fate.

Thank Gods!

"No take-backsies!" I exclaimed immediately, before he decided to back out.

"As long as you remain happy enough to show that smile, then-of course, no takebacksies."

"We have a deal!" I stretched my pinky finger to seal the agreement.

He smiled lightly, then started, "Say, you love me."

"Pervert. Go meet mom for that nonsense." I replied reflexively in distaste but made sure to keep my smile, lest the deal was to break.

He laughed wryly in response, "You're sneaky."

"Go. Now." I waved him off.

"Okay. Okay. Fine." He huffed before attempting what I assumed was an eye roll, even though it resembled some hideous eye condition.

He started muttering incoherently as well as I watched him stomp off.

"What a clown." I shook my head at his behavior and cautiously approached my room door.

Suddenly, I started contemplating whether I should've told him I loved him likewise.

I loved all of them, despite the fact that I felt like tying them up to a chair and screaming into their faces. How blissful it could be if they would just listen without asking questions I wasn't bold enough to answer.

But in hindsight, I'd be scared if they did.

It was a bad thing to get used to, I guess.

Anyway, I now had one less issue on my path to getting out of this place by sundown.