“You. Wait here.” Dad told me sternly. He had dragged me to my room after I tried to stop Sophie from telling on me. He closed the door behind him, and I heard him walk back to their room. 

I couldn’t do much more than just sit on my bed and hope Sophie didn’t tell them anything. It was probably safe to say she wasn’t about to honor her promise anymore, saying that her first instinct was to run to Mom and Dad’s room. Honestly, I’ve heard her sneak out every other night for lots of nights and haven’t said a word of it. And I guess this is how she repays that favor.

I pressed my ear to the door and walls, trying to listen to what Sophie might’ve been saying, but no luck. The only sounds I could make out were muffled, but definitely from Sophie’s mouth. I wondered what kind of punishment I’d get for doing this. Grounded? Doing all the dishes? Gardening with Mom? I prayed it wasn’t the last one. Not again.

I glanced back at my window and considered doing the Sophie tactic and jumping out. I guess the only problem with that is where would I run? I don’t really have anywhere to go, and my stamina isn’t really great. Nevertheless, I opened it and put my head in my arms on the window seal. Before I could fully commit to a decision, I heard the door open behind me.

“Ben?” It was Mom.

I sighed and lifted my head up, but still kept it in my arms. She walked over behind me and patted me on the back, giving me a sympathetic look. The night time breeze was a bit aggressive that day, and our messy hair waved in the wind wafting into my room. Mom’s tangles flying every which way, and mine getting neatly swept up in the breeze. We looked at the stars quietly, but I knew it couldn’t last.

“So,” I mumbled. “How much did she tell you?”

“Everything. At least everything she knew.” Mom said. “I know there’s more to these things that people let on.”

“More to what?”

“Eating disorders, Ben.” she said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t play dumb. We all know you’re smarter than you want to let on.”

“Well I don’t have one,” I said, using as much truth in my voice as I could. 

“Oh yeah? Then giving away your lunch and throwing up dinner isn’t anything then?”

I stared back out the window shamefully.

“Come on Ben, I’ve been where you are. We may do it for different, or even the same reasons, but they’re problems. I had to accept it, and you should too. Before it’s too late.”

“I don’t do it for any reason,” I lied. “I was just tired of looking at myself in the mirror looking like I do…”

“Why the change?”

I kept silent.

“Well, when you want to talk, I’m here.” she said comfortingly. “I know what it’s like, and how it feels easier or more right to keep the secrets… but you have to open up, and the sooner the better.”

We both went back to watching the night time scenery. The breeze that had upturned our hair was also tickling the flowers on the ground, and rustling the trees. Mom smiled and looked back down at me.

“You know, this is pretty peaceful compared to when I had someone confront me about my eating problem.”

“Really?” I asked curiously.

“Mhm, yeah. They grabbed me by the collar and said that if I continued doing it and didn’t go to the hospital, they’d send me there the hard way.”

“Was it Aunt Robin?”

“It was Aunt Robin,” she nodded. “I was lucky enough to have a friend like that who cared about me even when I pushed her away.”

“I don’t have any friends though,” I pointed out.

“Oh Ben,” she smirked, ruffling my hair and making me laugh. “You have three people right here who care enough to come closer when you push us away. Especially your sister.”

She got up and started to walk towards the door.

“Wait!” I stopped her. “That’s it? No punishment or anything?!”

“Punishment?” Mom asked, completely taken aback. “Goodness Ben, no! We’re going to make sure you’re safe, but we’re not about to punish you for hurting yourself. Besides, the safety precautions will probably feel like punishment enough. Your dad will come in a minute to discuss that.”

She walked out of the door and closed it behind her. I groaned and laid on my bed. When I glanced over, I saw my toy Green Lantern ring, which I slipped on just because. I enjoyed waving it around sometimes. Made me feel like I was really Hal Jordan or Guy Gardner or one of those other Green Lanterns. I held my fist with the ring to the ceiling and remembered the oath, whispering it softly.

“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might,” I paused and pressed the lantern symbol on the ring, which caused it to light up and finish the line.

“Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light!” echoed Kyle Rayner’s voice from the ring.

“You’re telling me the batteries in that thing still haven't died?” Dad said from the doorway, making me jump out of bed. 

“Dad!”

“No, no it’s fine,” he said, closing the door. He pointed at my Daredevil poster. “Does he have a catchphrase too?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “But he’s the man without fear. Nothing can make him scared, no matter the challenge.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, let’s talk about this little problem you’ve got,” he said, sitting down on the foot of my bed. “And what we’re going to do about it.”

“You’re not going to treat me like Mom, are you?”

“You know Ben, we’ve got to be safe. Can’t have you getting worse than you already are.”

“It’s only been a few days!”

“That’s all it takes,” Dad said. I could tell he was trying his best to not get upset. “We need to be careful, or you might be like your mother, or maybe even one day be worse.”

Good, I wanted to be like her. Not the barely able to function part though. More like, as far from Grandma Emilia as you get. I like that image of myself better.

“I’ll do whatever you guys think I should,” I lied. “If you really think you’ll know what’s best, I won’t fight it.”

“Thank you Ben,” Dad said with one of his sweet smiles. “But I don’t believe you.”

“Huh?” Wait, what did he say?

“I’ve been doing this for a long time, Ben. I know when words sound too sweet to be the honest truth.”

“But… But I promise I’ll be good!”

“Come on Ben, you’ve seen your mother. I’ve done this for a long time. If you’ll be good, then there’s nothing to fuss about if we keep an eye on you while you do it, right?”

“Yeah… Yeah, nothing to get angry over.”

“Good.” Dad patted me on the back. “Listen Ben, I don’t know why you started to purge and restrict and all that, but it’s not healthy. I would even say you’re going to become bulimic at this rate.”

“I won’t, Dad, alright?”

“Well, I’d hope not,” he said with a small laugh. “I’ve got my hands full with your mom already. So let’s all try our best to take care of ourselves, alright?”

“Right,” I agreed. “Can I uh, go to bed now?”

“Promise you won’t just go purge again?” Dad asked.

“I thought you didn’t care about promises,” I said, folding my arms. Dad laughed.

“You really are just like your mother.” He got up and turned to exit my room, but stopped for a second and turned back to me. “Sleep well, son. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Dad.” I said before he closed my door.

Now that I was by myself, I let out a sigh of relief. Talking like that always stressed me out, and especially made me tired. It was like conversation was my one weakness. Well, besides physical activity, and paying attention for too long, and… Let’s just say it’s one of my many weaknesses then.

Truth be told, I didn’t plan to stop at all. I just thought of ways to be craftier about doing the act. I was sloppy, and didn’t pay attention tonight, and that was why I got caught. No more getting caught. I was on my way to making sure I was how I wanted, and I couldn’t have my family worrying so much about it because it could hurt me.

Restriction would have to mean I’d eat my meals, but just less. I hope I can get away with just eating way less. And if I couldn’t, purging was my last option. After dinner was probably easy enough if I just did it out my window or something, but doing it was still fairly loud… I’d have to work on that.

I turned out the lights and slipped my entire body under my blankets, submerging myself in complete darkness. I giggled as the ring I still had on my finger started to illuminate my face green in the darkness.