I storm out of the house and take off on a run. I feel disappointed with myself and hate this pent-up anger that stems from nothing. I mean, it's not Mom's fault. She probably knew I was being uncharacteristically angry and therefore was trying to find the source. I go until I reach the back corner of the property. I sit down, leaning my back against the oak tree, and close my eyes. 

As I sit there, my anger dissipates, but I still have too much restless energy. I sigh and decide to walk around the property in laps, as I think about all that happened during the week.

I think about the time I overheard my classmate calling me fat one class over and how I started to go over and confront her, only stopping when the teacher asked why I was leaving the room.  Then, there is the time I heard Lyla telling her friend about her sister's secret, even though they were whispering at the opposite end of the hall. I think about how I probably shouldn't have heard Mom's conversation from up the stairs and behind closed doors.

Then, I think about how bad my classmates smelled last Thursday right after gym class. I still can't believe I threw up in front of everyone.

There are so many instances where I have acted so out of character and against my own morals that I start feeling an unbearable amount of guilt. I start to wonder if I do have something serious going on. I mean, what if they find a tumor in my head? Or what if I have  a rare disease that no one has ever heard of before.

I am back to the oak tree where I first sat to calm down. As I stand here leaning against the tree again, I am happy that there is nothing but forest behind our property and start walking. Luckily, this isn’t anyone's property and open to the public, so I can walk without worrying about trespassing. I continue walking until I feel like my legs are going to collapse. I find a place to sit, planning to rest before going back to apologize. 

However, my emotions seem to keep building, and the restlessness I felt earlier returns with a vengeance. The only problem is, I feel too weak to move, so I start to panic.

“So there is something wrong with me.” I think, while trying to calm myself down with an old breathing exercise my parents came up with when Viv kept losing her temper in grade school.

As I breathe in, a sharp pain I never felt hits me in the chest. My heart takes off like it’s going for gold in a race. It’s so painful, it renders me speechless and I seize up. As the seconds tick by, the pain only intensifies and spreads throughout my whole body. When my entire body is swallowed in the pain, it changes and I would think being burned in a fire would be cooler. I am sure I am about to see the white light when I pass out into a welcome blackness.

I wake up  moments later, no longer in as much pain but still sore. It’s that same soreness one might feel after an overly intense workout. I lay on the forest floor for a time, while catching my breath. When my calm once again returns, I stand up, ready to go apologize to Mom. I also need to tell them about the pain.

As I push myself into a standing position, my pants fall and I can't seem to stay up. It feels like all my bones are backwards. I look down at my knees and freeze.

Instead of my five foot nine frame, I looked down to see the stomach and paws of a white Siberian tiger inside a torn shirt.

What.

The.

Freak.

I close my eyes, shake my head, and look at myself again. I was sure I was hallucinating. I’m not, so I scream as loud as I can. What comes out instead, is a loud, clear roar. I jump at the sound coming out of my mouth. I should have expected that, even as I freak out about this current reality.

I stand still on all four legs and wait to see if the answer is going to pop out of thin air, wondering how things could get worse.

Moments later, I hear “Ashka, Ashka where are you?!!” in Viv’s panicked voice. 

“GO TO THE HOUSE, VIVITINA!” Behind her, Mom yells. I can now see how things can get worse. Thank goodness karma didn’t let them see me. After all, it would make more sense to think that a tiger ate me, than to believe I am the tiger.

I kick off the ripped pair of pants and start running in the opposite direction from their calls. The only problem? I try to run with two feet, instead of four, and end up with a face full of dirt. That brings my attention back to the new body I now have, so I try again. This time, in awkward movements, I use my back legs to jump to my front legs and pull up my back legs to my front legs again, then repeat.

I continue this jumpy and ungainly run until the same weakness spreads over my body that occurred earlier. I stop and pant, trying to catch my breath.

‘I wish this wasn’t happening,’ I think. Trying to figure out what is going to happen next. Before I can get an idea, my legs give out and I fall. The second I hit the ground, I black out.

I wake up to the whirling of machines and the beeping of computers. I look around, halfway expecting to be in the vet clinic of a zoo. Instead, I see a human hospital room. I look down at myself, and am almost surprised to see a human body, lying on the bed.

“Was that all a dream?” I ask myself, out loud.