7. “I’m not a doll, you know. Stop treating me like one.”

I knew it wasn’t good-bye. It couldn’t be. She would get better. This sickness between us would go away and we would be together again. We had to be okay.

It was still odd for me to think that we were together, not only as friends, but as scholars and colleagues – equals. I was, and still am, a pet. Yes, I may be a pet, but that didn’t change that I was fully aware and a sentient being.

Pets are biological constructions who are fully aware and yet not autonomous – legal speak for able to function on our own and make decisions for ourselves. Five-inch-tall living dolls for the amusement of others. We are, in a word, powerless to determine our own fates. Some of us have good owners, but others are not as fortunate.

I decided early on that I wasn’t going to be entirely powerless. Yes, I may be a genetically modified sub-strand of the human race measuring, personally speaking, five-and-a-quarter inches tall, but that didn’t limit my intellect or ability to learn.

Conditioning taught me to be obedient, but my will kept me unbroken. The rules told me where the lines were, and my creativity found ways to bend those rules to my will. I knew how far I could push the line with my first owner before I was surrendered to Second Chance, a shelter for pets like me. My next owner insisted on keeping me for only a month before finding my, as he called it, “feet dragging,” unacceptable.

When I was sold for that third time, I was certain I was going to be returned or treated like an insignificant, unintelligent being like my other two owners. I didn’t listen when I was loaded into the carrier, and I ensured I avoided eye-contact with the woman who purchased me. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of pleadingly looking into her eyes in hopes of gaining sympathy.

When we arrived at her home, however, this was not the case at all.

Caroline, sweet Caroline, was unlike any human I came into contact with. From the first day, she talked to me like an actual person. She made eye-contact with me when she opened my carrier and apologized for anything any human might’ve done to me. When I asked why, Caroline simply explained she wanted a companion and friend, but she moved around a lot since she traveled so much for work that she didn’t have any constant in her life.

That’s what she wanted me to be. A constant – a friend. She didn’t want to force a friendship, and Caroline said if I simply wanted to exist separately from her, I could do so.

The main thing was she wanted to help get someone, a pet, out of a bad situation. She once agreed with having pets, but an impactful conversation with a doctor friend of hers who lived out of town somewhere, I honestly didn’t remember where she said because my ears were ringing too loudly, about the mentality and sentience of pets. He told her that pets were just like people and that having a conversation with a pet when they felt free to speak their mind would tell her everything she needed to know.

Her opinion changed after that, and this is when she purchased me.

She made it clear I could pursue my own interests if I wanted to stay while she traveled. She also said I could use any resource she had to improve my life as I saw fit.

Needless to say, I was in absolute shock and thrilled beyond expression. Caroline let me adjust to my new home with her for the next month though, in all honesty, I only needed a week to feel perfectly at ease in her presence. Her hands were never probative, and she always asked before moving me, and it was always optional.

I had even run a few tests, telling her to wait while she was walking or asking for a moment after she asked if I wanted to go with her from one room to the next. Without question, she listened.

No rules.

No obligations.

Just my sweet Caroline.

We had the best conversations ranging from her business, which was contract estimation for architectural structures, philosophy, photography, politics, and even the films we watched together. It felt like we had been friends for years, which was all I ever wanted to be, because it meant I was seen as a person, not a pet.

So, when Caroline was diagnosed with cancer, we had one another to cope and work through next steps.

Everything was set in place. I was supposed to stay with her in the hospital when she was on extended stays. We had documents permitting me to be by her side.

One night, however, she had an episode. She was gasping for breath. Everything was going wrong. I called the police to send an ambulance immediately and, thankfully, they did. They did not, however, take me with her. Despite my insistence and her pleading, I was forcibly left behind.

I waited all through the night and into the next day to hear something – anything – about Caroline. It wasn’t until I called the nearest three hospitals asking about her that I heard she was admitted and receiving “the best treatment,” but they were unable to disclose any details. I was thankful that they didn’t realize I was a pet while we were on the phone. I had that going for me at least.

I felt like I was losing my mind. Nausea plagued my insides. I didn’t eat, sick with worry, and barely sipped water throughout the whole day. Exhaustion was the only reason my body let me sleep, passing out and falling into a string of nightmares I couldn’t wake from.

The only salvation I had was when Caroline herself got a hold of a phone and called me two days later. Her voice alone relieved every tense muscle in my body with the simple word – my name.

“Michael.” Never had a sweeter voice said my name. I fell to my knees as I listened, heart thundering in my chest.

“Michael, I’m okay. Are you there?”

I swallowed dryly and choked out my response.

“Yes, I’m here. How are you? How do you feel? I called all the hospitals nearby and just found the one they took you to,” I said, trying to keep all of the facts straight in my tumultuous thoughts.

“I’m okay. The doctor said it was just a flare up, but they want me to stay for observation and an additional treatment,” said Caroline. Her voice was raspy and tense. She was obviously exhausted. I stared across the kitchen counter. I had a million questions to ask her, but I knew our time had to be limited and that Caroline needed sleep. I needed to hit the highlights.

“Are you going to be alright?” I ask. That was the most important thing happening right now.

“Of course, Michael. You know me. Fighter to the end,” Caroline said before going into a fit of coughs. I heard her fend off some of the doctors as they tried to take the phone from her. “No. I’m not done. I’m fine.” I knew I didn’t have a lot of time.

“How long will you be staying?” I asked. “How can I get to you?”

“I don’t know how long,” replied Caroline. “And… you can’t get to me.” My heart stopped.

“Caroline…”

“It’s not because I don’t want you here. I honestly would feel a lot better if you were here with me. I miss you Michael. I miss you so much, but they’re transferring me to a different hospital that has a policy against… you know…. I asked them not to take me or if my paperwork would be valid and they said no. My doctor is out of town, and this is the best they can do. It’s the New Works Social hospital downtown,” explains Caroline.

“But… if that’s the case…” My mind is spiraling. She is going to be gone for who knew how long. She needed me. I needed to be there for her.

“Look, my cousin Daisy lives nearby. She’s going to come by and check on the house to get my paperwork. I told her our rules and that you were special, but she only hears every other word. The family says she’s a genius, but I think that’s a load of you-know-what.” Caroline wheezed and coughed violently into the phone again. My heart ached for her.

“This… Daisy? She okay with pets?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but she’s the only one who lives nearby. She’ll be there later today. I told her not to bother you, Michael, but she isn’t the best at listening,” said Caroline. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I didn’t want any of this for you.” I nodded a few times, accepting what was undoubtedly going to come my way.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s okay,” I reassured. My heart races a million miles a minute. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to beg her to call off Daisy and that I would look after the place, but it would be nearly impossible for me to clean up the mess from the other night. Right now, we needed to focus on Caroline. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me. Just get better soon and call me or call the house as often as you can, okay?”

“Promise,” she said softly. “Miss you.”

“Miss you too,” I replied. At that, the phone was shuffled away, and I was left alone in the apartment on my own to the solitude that was sure to be broken sooner or later.

I lost track of time as I watch the line go out. Caroline said she was going to be okay. I needed to get to her. When I glanced back at the clock, I was astonished to find that I had been sitting there blankly for nearly two hours.

I probably didn’t have a lot of time left. This Daisy person was probably going to be here any minute. I had involuntarily waisted a couple of hours processing the information Caroline gave me. Now, I needed to take care of me so I could help her.

I instantly started planning on places to hide from this Daisy woman, but I get maybe five minutes into planning and climbing down off of the counter on my makeshift ladder when the front doorknob jiggled. Within seconds and before I could react, the door was opened cautiously and a woman around her early twenties peered in through the crack she created.

After only a half of a second, she whisked herself into the room and closed the door behind her. I thought at first she might be okay. She was trying to observe the room after all. Maybe she was making sure she didn’t step on me?

My hopes instantly drained when I watched her pull out a bag of “pet treats” from her side purse that looked more like a duffle bag than a purse and shook the bag.

“Buddy? You here?” she called as she made several ear-splitting kissing sounds. “Come on. You don’t have to be scared. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’ve got some yummy treats for you. Are you hiding? It’s oka…”

Her pale green eyes traced the room and found me halfway down my makeshift ladder absolutely frozen. I had been found out. I thought for a second about dropping to the floor, but I was sure I would break something if I did. I hated that of my instinctual reaction options of fight, flight, or freeze, I was freezing. It wasn’t even my choice at this point. I was completely frozen.

A smile on her face meant to be reassuring only appeared arrogant and demeaning to me. She approached, her thunderous footsteps sounding like the bell tolls of my demise.

One look and I knew this “Daisy” was like the others and that she saw me for what I was supposed to be – a pet.

“Well, hi there little guy. Did you get stuck up there?” she asked, her voice “sweetening” and talking to me like a young child. I hated it. Caroline never talked to me like this. I managed to snap out of my frozen state, but it was already too late.

“Here, let me help you get down,” she said as she wrapped her fingers around my body just under my arms and tugged me free from the ladder I so desperately clung to. My fingers didn’t stand a chance at fighting her simple tug and I was suddenly aloft in the air, pressure all around me and being smothered by the heat of her palm.

My heartrate spiked instantly, and my arms gripped the edges of her fingers, trying to pry them off of my body. She brought her other hand up and brushed the side of my head with the tip of her finger. She wasn’t trying to be rough, but even involuntarily she raked her fingers across my skin.