Chapter 4 Page 1 - You'll be Fine
Jan 12, 2016
Michelle
Top comment
Aah, this guy's so sweet! I really like his character, I hope Michelle can come around and appreciate him.
Overall I think your comic has a good start! The colours are lovely, the characters are diverse, and the story gets right into the plot without meandering.
The only thing that was consistently a bit off was the dialogue. It often reads like something out of a translated RPG or manga, and not how people naturally talk. Especially with translation artifacts like "It cannot be helped"-- things that English-speaking people don't actually say. I will say, it seemed more suited to Gerald, as I get the sense he's kind of learning to be "human", so it makes sense if his speech is a little stiff and formal.
Otherwise some pretty cool stuff! Definitely getting a Full Metal Alchemist vibe, with an even more hot-headed protag. It's fun to see a female character with a bit more fire to her personality. Keep up the good work!
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