The beeping of a machine is what brought me too.
My brain was still a messy fog as I breached consciousness, not yet aware of where I was, nor the events that transpired before I got here.
My eyes where heavy and crusty, and it took some effort to open them, even just a crack. That much was enough to blind me though. The room I was in was a dazzling white and I’m pretty sure this uncomfortable bed I was on was directly under the sole light source, giving me no real hope of opening my eyes any time soon from this position.
I felt a hand tighten in my own, and I realised I must’ve jolted my body quite suddenly, in reaction to burning my eyeballs.
“Theo?” I heard my Mum whisper sleepily next to me.
“Theo, darling, are you awake?” She repeated a little more urgently, the sleep quickly leaving her voice.
I attempted a reply but my eyes were still screwed shut against the bright room and my own voice didn’t want to cooperate, as words I was attempting to say came out as more of a gargle, which got caught in my throat and began a small coughing fit.
I felt my mums hand slip behind my back and help lift me into a sitting position with little help from my flailing body as I attempted to steady myself but with no real knowledge of the surroundings.
Once upright I could finally breath again and I attempted another glance around the room and this time found it much more manageable to open my eyes now I was looking at a wall instead of a ceiling light.
I was in a hospital. That much was clear. A fancy private room too, as I could see that this was the only bed in here. Sandwiched between the window, with a lovely second floor view of the parking lot outside, and what must be a toilet to my left, with the main door leading to a presumed hallway just next to it. There was even a small wallmounted TV opposite the bed I was on.
Many machines were placed around my bed, though the only one I could see I was hooked up to was a heart monitor, making the constant beeping noise that had drawn me to consiousness. It had sped up dramatically during my coughing fit and was currently slowing down as I calmed.
Why I was here though, was a little foggy still. There weren’t any large hospitals around where I lived so it would’ve been quite a long journey over to here, and must've been quite serious if the local doctors surgery couldnt handle it.
I take a glance over at my Mum, sitting beside me all teary eyed, and gave her a little smile to let her know I was alright, still not trusting my throat after the previous coughing fit and with how painfully dry I was realising it was.
The smile threw her over the edge, however, and she jumped from her seat, arms open wide to encase me in the biggest, strongest hug a 5ft 2, fifty year old lady could muster. I returned the hug gratefully, wrapping my arms around her small frame and resting my head atop her strawberry blonde hair. Giving her a few moments to compose herself as I thought back on the events that led me here.
All at once everything came back, the storm, the pots but the most intense memory consisted of those golden eyes staring at me. Both through the waves and approaching me from under them. They shook me to the core, I remembered them so vividly, It was like those scenes were a movie in my head, playing on repeat, every fleck of gold in those iris' in high definition in my mind.
I was glad to have remembered, glad to have pieced together for myself the events that got me here. But these memories brough so many questions. These eyes, that I could see clearer than day even in the darkest storm, did I truly see them? Was I hallucinating? Did I dream them up? If they are real, then who's eyes are they...
I was questioning myself in an internal struggle as I heard my Mum let out a final sniffle and felt her start to pull away from our embrace, so I released her.
She sat back down, but on my bed this time, and reached her hand up to cup my face as she looked into my dull blue eyes, a colouring we shared, Mine was a dark brown when I let it grow out, compared to her strawberry blonde hair, though I usually kept it in a buzz cut. Out of the way, and much more convenient, I always thought.
“Do you know why you’re here Darling?” She questioned “Do you remember what happened?”
I nodded my head to her in confirmation, but she seemed confused by my silence so I gestured towards my throat and made a drinking motion with my other hand, hoping that she would understand and be able to get me some water.
“Ah!” She said with a start, “Of course, Hon! Sea water really isn’t all that kind to the throat is it? I’ll go fetch you something to drink real quick okay? I’ll be right back.” She placed a quick kiss on my forehead and tottered out of the room.
It was at that moment when I realised she was still in her Pyjamas, with her neon pink ‘quick trip outside’ crocs on her feet. I wondered what time it was and how long it had been since the storm, it didn’t feel as though I'd been asleep for more than a few hours, however sleep could be deceiving.
The door swung open, and I expected my Mother to be balancing a glass of water full to the brim in her hands, as was her usual level of thoroughness, when someone asked something of her. But when I looked up I saw a very pale looking Wilson standing in the door frame, wringing his hat in his hands, still in his waterproof dungarees from what I assumed was this morning.
He had his head hung down in obvious shame and it took him a few seconds to build up the courage to lift his eyes to the bed and me on it. I met his worried eyes for a split second before he turned his head down again, I thought he was going to turn away, but instead he seemed to force his feet into the room and towards me, letting the door close quietly behind him.
He stopped at the end of my bed and for a few seconds there was only my heartbeat to be heard, still beeping away on the machine.
He coughed lightly -to break the silence or clear his throat, I wasnt sure, maybe both- and again met my eyes.
I gave him a small smile, as I had with my Mum, and that seemed to lift his mood and small portion. Knowing that I was okay, and that I didn’t blame him for my close encounter with death.
“Jesus Lad” he managed to get out after a few seconds “You- You gave us quite the scare for a second there, Ya Kno,”
He took a deep breath.
“I looked away for only one second I swear, makin' sure the wind weren’t blowin' us too far to the cliffs.
"One second you was there, the next you were gone, Poof, Couldn’t catch a whiff of ya..” he mumbled off the last bit.
“It had been 10 minutes since I saw you last above water… I thought we’d lost you for good, smashed against them unforgiving rocks by those waves...
"God I was already planning how to tell ya Mother, how to beg for her forgiveness for-for…” He didn't finish, just looked down to the floor. His voice had started to crack at the end and I realised a few tears had now started making their way down from his eyes into his bushy beard.
Wilson wasn’t the hugging sort, he seemed far too manly for such a thing, the most physical contact I’d seen the man have was a quick handshake. But, having one near death experience today already, made me bold enough to attempt another, as I slowly crawled off the side of the bed and shuffled over to where Wilson was at the end of the bed. He was taking up most of the floor space between the bed and the wall, as he was quite the giant of a man.
I held out my arms to invite him in for a hug, the poor guy looked like he needed it. Still blaming himself entirely for being stubborn on the waves, though neither of us could've known what would happen. Us both being experienced in this trade meant a fall was unlikely, though from this morning, obviously not impossible.
Surprisingly, Wilson went for the hug, he was a lot bigger than me, I wasnt weedy, I had some muscle and was a solid 5ft 11, but, compared to someone like Wilson, everybody looked scrawny. I was encased in his large arms as he took a shaky breath and muttered,
“God what a freak storm that was Lad, hadn't heard a thing about it, nobody had infact, that I've thought to ask anyways. Looks like it only managed to breach our part of the coast 'fore clearin up faster than it came in...
"Saw you layin' on the beach the second it cleared. Finally had the mind to call the ambulance too.”
He stepped away from the hug and did a not-so-subtle wipe of his eyes on the sleeve of his scratchy jumper.
“Glad to see you’re alright though Lad,” he gave me a little smile and a punch on the shoulder “God knows we can’t loose anymore fishermen around here, ay?”
And now he’s back to regular Wilson.
At this moment my mum pokes her head into the room, she’d obviously been eavesdropping on us but I decide not to pester her on it later, it was a very strange occurrence we just witnessed.
“Doctor says he’s going to be absolutely fine after some rest,” she announces, making her presence known while aiming her words towards Wilson, “and after some water of course.”
She hands over the almost full to the brim glass to me and I gratefully grab it and swig it down, sloshing it around in my mouth a little, glad to get rid of the sore throat and salty taste from my mouth.
I clear my throat a little before testing out my voice with a pathetic sounding “Thank you” but it was progress none the less.
The two began dicussing with me the events of this morning, as I found I had only been asleep for a few hours and it was now nearly 1pm. I say the two began discussing the events, however it was more my Mum's stressing rambling and Wilson's occasional grunt in agreement in what she had said.
Through the story, I could piece together the events that unfolded between me falling in the sea, and waking up in the hospital bed. Which went thusly; upon finding me on land, just about breathing, Wilson called the ambulance, who then air lifted me to hospital -sounds fun, wish I'd been awake for that- They then called my mother, who had only just woken up and been getting herself a morning coffee as the call came in. In a great rush, she slipped on her nearest shoes, her neon pink crocs, and rushed to the hospital, wherin they tested my vitals and she and Wilson both anxiously waited for me to wake up.
After finishing their retelling of events and Mum having gotten me a second glass of water, the doctors came in and checked me over a last time before allowing me to leave, telling me to just take it easy for the next few days. My Mum huddled close to me the whole time and I assumed Wilson had silently taken his leave as the doctors had entered, as he was nowhere to be seen now.
We made our way over to my Mum’s car parked across two parking spaces in her rush to get to my room. It was a large truck-like car she drove, made for off-roading and lugging around large loads, that she often had to do, living in the countryside and working as a small scale construction manager and decorator for the locals.
She helped me into my seat, despite my protests that I was fine, but she insisted, and she could be quite a stubborn woman. I couldn't complain though as this was certainly a trait I had inherited from her.
It was quite the drive from the hospital, give or take 40 minutes, and honestly, I just wanted to sleep. The loud opera my Mum had decided to put on, however, did a great job preventing that, so instead I groggily stared out the window for the majority of the ride home.
We were about 10 minutes away from home when Mum finally spoke to me. She’d obviously been debating with herself the entire drive, as to whether bring up the events of this morning.
“God Theo, you don’t know how lucky you were this morning,” She gave me a glance out of the corner of her eye.
“I don’t know what kind of guardian angel you’ve got looking over you, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop praising them after today, maybe I'll have to start making time to go to Church again...”
I could see her eyes welling up with tears. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just nodded softly.
“If-“ her voice cracked “ If, I’d lost you today Theo, I don’t know what I would’ve done, honey…” She gripped the steering wheel tightly.
I placed my hand on her shoulder, debating whether she should be driving in this condition, but decided against changing the topic, when this was obviously hard for her to discuss.
“It’s just you and me, Mum,” I said quietly
“I wont let anything to happen to me, not now, not ever.” I finish, sounding confident, but we both knew that these were things that nobody had any real control over.
“Okay?” I asked, hopeful I'd done a good job soothing her worries.
She let out a small smile and whispered a small “okay” in agreement, giving my hand a squeeze with one hand still on the wheel.
We again fell into silence after that, though it was light and pleasant. Us both just too exhausted from todays events to hold any more of a conversation.
I felt my eyes grow heavy even as my body felt the twists and turns of the familiar roads near to home. In these moments I thought back to what my Mother had described as my ‘Guardian Angel’.
I thought about those Golden eyes, watching me, was it confusion I saw staring back at me through the water, was it worry? Was the owner of these golden eyes my guardian angel?
These thoughts and the vivid images of those eyes enveloped me until I felt the gravel drive under the cars tires and knew I was home.
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