Kou doesn’t ask and I don’t acknowledge it: I believe him, but I’m afraid to say it out loud. Deep down, I don’t want to admit to the terrible tragedy that is our history. Instead I distract myself by asking about his exes…a ridiculous topic.

Given what we’ve been doing, I’m embarrassed to find that I’m Kou’s first sexual partner.

I don’t believe it.

He snorts, making a splash as he shifts in the bathtub.

“What kind of person do you think I am?” he laughs, making me red in the face.

From the skill with which he makes love, I thought that he had plenty of experience. The shock makes me light headed.

“What about…her?” I ask, looking down, and hear his sigh around my head as my ears burn. He places his hands on my shoulders, leaning me back against him in the bath.

“You,” he says, with emphasis, “were only fifteen at the time. I watched you grow up. Even though you were of marriageable age, you were the daughter of the lord…and very precious to me. The most I did was speak to you through the screen and touch your hand…It would have been improper to do more than that before making you my wife,” he says, clearing his throat a little, sounding stern.

So Kougetsu can be old-fashioned…I’m torn between laughter and an overwhelming relief that I realize stems from jealousy.

“Then…h-how did you know what to do…?”

“People have lived in this house for generations after that time. I didn’t go out of my way, but I wasn’t able to avoid the intimacy of others in this house…” he says, sounding a little brusque. He’s probably a little embarrassed.

“Also…one of the last tenants was a young male with a propensity for watching certain things on the television…”

I laugh then because Kougetsu sounds slightly disapproving, and I can imagine what kind of H things a young man would be watching while jerking off.

“Ahhhh!” I cry as he hugs me quite suddenly.

“So yes…you’re my first, Mio,” he confirms softly.

“It didn’t feel like it…” I say to him, inhaling the scent of him, as the water vapour curls around us.

“Well, I didn’t say I didn’t learn anything from those incidents…” he says wryly. “But I also couldn’t hold myself back. I waited a long time for  you and when I finally had you in my arms, I couldn’t be gentle. I’m sorry.”

I flush remembering him taking me over and over again that first time. He squeezes me tightly.

“You didn’t hurt me,” I tell him. “And I wouldn’t push you away even if you did…because it’s you.”

We get out of the bath and fall asleep in each other’s arms, but that night I dream about a girl with long black hair stabbing herself in the chest. The wound is where my birthmark is.

—

Both Kou and I settle back into our routine and I realize that my meeting with Professor Hatsuda at the Department of Japanese Folk Culture is coming up. I call Mariko and she kindly offers to drive me there.

At first the meeting goes well. He’s quite enthusiastic about my novel’s incorporation of Japanese folklore. He refers me to some resources in a different prefecture, and we chat quite nicely for some time.

Although it’s not part of my research, I bring up the subject of ghost stories as he’s a local expert…I ask about onryo. I show him the architectural pictures of my house without telling him that I’m living there. He frowns at it, tracing the design with his finger.

“The way the house is built…it’s actually like it’s sealed something below it…” he said, pushing his glasses slightly.

I swallow.

“Hmnn, how would one release what's trapped there? Theoretically, that is…” I ask.

The Professor shakes his head. He fans the drawings out and then his finger stops on an emblem on the very last sheet.

“That house appears to belong to the Ikeda family. I heard the family head has been trying to buy back the property…it was recently sold to a new owner…a foreigner…”

“Really? That’s news to me…I heard there was a ghost…” I laugh uncomfortably.

Professor Hatsuda looks at me with a strange expression on his face.

“If you own this house, I would suggest you sell it back to Ikeda-san,” he says. His expression is stiff. “If there’s nothing else, then please excuse me as I have another appointment…”

“I see…” I say, trying not to gnaw my lower lip.

The birthmark on my chest throbs.

---

It’s dark.

It’s cold.

Where am I?

Who am I?

“…Mio…Mio?”

I turn at the sound of Kougetsu’s voice and frown.

“What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night…” he says, picking me up in his arms, and carrying me back towards the bedroom.

I realize that I’ve been standing in the middle of the garden, staring into space. I have no idea how I got there.

“Kou…I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I admit in low tones.

“You’re cold,” he says, snuggling me against him. He puts me down on the wooden deck and goes inside to fetch warm water and a cloth. My bare feet are filthy. He cleans them off like I’m a princess and carries me inside.

“You’re warm,” I whisper as he tucks me under the quilt. He pulls himself in after, easing up against my back. I wiggle backward causing him to chuckle.

For a moment there is a comfortable silence, which is broken when I say: “I’m scared, Kou. I feel like something bad is going to happen. That I don’t deserve to be this happy…I’m scared that you’re going to leave and never come back.”

“Shhh…don’t be afraid. I’m still here…” he whispers to me, grazing my ear with his lips. “I won’t be separated from you. You’re safe.”

We’re silent again.

“You know that you can’t promise me that…”

I’m anxious. I’m terrified.

“Sleep Mio, whatever happens, I’ll be right here.”

I close my eyes, but that night I dream of the onryo again. When she looks at me, she is wearing my face.

---

Strange things start to happen to the house. Trash is thrown into the garden. Someone vandalizes the main door. 

I wake late one night to male voices and find that Kou’s not in bed. I creep cautiously onto the deck and cover my mouth to prevent my gasp.

Ikeda-San is standing in the garden with a long sword, pointing it at Kou. He’s holding a torch in his other hand and his eyes are crazed, showing white in the light of the flame. I hide behind one of the wooden columns, wondering if I should call the police.

They’re hissing at each other in low Japanese, too fast for me to follow.

The voices rise and Ikeda-San surges forward with the sword, thrusting it at Kou’s chest. 

I scream and rush forward, but something catches me, wrapping me up. I twist and turn trying to get away until I realize that it’s hair. Long black hair. I turn my head and stare into my own face, the face of the onryo. I stop struggling as I feel like my will has been completely swallowed in her black eyes.

The torch has dropped into the bush and all around us the garden starts to catch fire. Kou is on his knees. Even though he’s a ghost, he’s wounded and bleeding. 

My heart erupts with a rage that’s not mine.

My feet move forward but they don’t touch the ground. I watch, mesmerized as I float closer and closer to Ikeda-San, head cocked to one side. I can’t feel my face, but I know that I’m wearing a twisted grimace, but Ikeda-San doesn’t look fazed. The dark strands of hair whip forward and twist around him, smothering and choking him. 

He laughs crazily.

“You can’t come back! I’ve warned you many times. You might want to escape this house, but I forbid it!” he yells. “You’ll be bound here for all eternity, even if I have to kill your lover over and over again!”

I’m surprised that I understand Japanese, but when I open my mouth to speak, it’s not my voice that replies. In fact, even I’m frightened of the thin high sound that’s coming out of my mouth.

“Brother…don’t you want to stop living this nightmare? Let me go. Why can’t you admit that you’re the one that deserves death for your shameful lust…not Kougetsu!”

Kou looks stricken.

“Mio…Mio!”

I turn to face Kou. I feel a deep tenderness wash over me, but it’s full of heartache.

“I didn’t kill myself. Even though you’d been thrown out of the house, you were alive and well. How could I just die like that and leave you alone to mourn? But my brother couldn’t tolerate the idea that I loved you. He violated me and stabbed me in the heart so that I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what he’d done. Kougetsu…it was never your fault…so just leave this place. Leave this place to me and my brother so we can burn in hell forever…”

Kou staggers to his feet. Grabbing the sword he hacks through the hair that tangles me up.

“Mio! Mio!!!” he screams.

The long dark hair strewn all over the garden catches fire instantly. Ikeda San crawls away as I catch on fire. I’m screaming, but I still feel my lips twist into a happy smile.

“Mio!”

The sound of Kou’s agony seems far away. Somewhere a bell is chiming and my birthmark doesn’t hurt anymore.

I don’t know what happens after that.

---

When I wake up, Sai is sitting beside me. She looks exhausted and her mascara’s all smudged from crying.

“Baby...?” I croak.

“Mum…what the f—k did you get up to?” she asks, voice quavering. I can tell she’s relieved that I’m awake.

I cough and then restart. Thankfully my vocal chords belong to me again. The onryo is gone, and I feel like she got the outcome she was looking for. 

Sai tells me that the neighbours saw someone drag me out of the burning house, but when they ran up, he had disappeared. Ikeda-San is missing, but Sai says he probably perished in the fire.

I wonder if it was Kou who pulled me out. I feel completely hollow about what’s happened. I only hope that Kou was able to escape from whatever seal was on him, and I hope he reincarnates. For someone who didn’t believe in ghosts a year ago, I’m definitely more superstitious than before. I decide to visit the shrine and pray for him once I’m able to leave the hospital.

I feel very guilty as Sai’s taken time off to help me recover. I have some minor burns and smoke inhalation, but I’m surprisingly fine. After two weeks, I insist that she go home and finish out her semester. For once she doesn’t argue with me and leaves me to finish off my remaining time in Japan.

Although all my handwritten notes have burned, most of my work is still in the cloud. I’m able to retrieve it, but the story takes a different direction from the one I started with. I finish the book and instead of giving it a firm conclusion, I leave it open ended. I tell Mariko that it’s the beginning of a new series. She’s delighted beyond measure.

Life moves ahead and I move into a new apartment in Tokyo. I’m too afraid to go back to see what remains of the house, but the property is still in my name. A few months later, someone asks to purchase the land. Reluctantly, I agree, but before I sign the papers, I go back for a last look.

The burnt remnants of the house are being bulldozed, and as I stand there, staring at the open hole that had once been my home, I see a familiar back moving away from me into the alley.

“Kou!” I scream.

Running as fast as I can, rushing after that familiar silhouette, I pelt down to the river side. I’m crying so hard everything’s a blur.

“Kou, stop!”

The man turns around. It’s Kou…but it’s not. I halt in front of him, mouth open.

His hair is tied in the same loose ponytail, but it’s darker coloured. His features seem to be similar, but a little bit older, like he’s aged ten years. He’s still handsome, but the lines around his eyes are deeper, his mouth a bit more carved, his chin a bit sharper.

“Kou…?”

I want to touch him, but I’m not sure it’s him. I’m so afraid, I want to cry again.

“Yes, it’s me…” he says.

“How…?”

“It’s Ikeda’s body.”

I recoil, but he grabs my hands, looking desperate and sad.

“Do…do you hate it, Mio?” he asks, softly.

I look into his eyes. They’re Kou’s eyes. Warm and pleading, and full of love for me.

I shake my head.

“I’m just surprised. It…You don’t look like him at all. You look like you, just a bit older…”

It feels like the body has molded to the soul that’s occupying it. I reach out and place my hand on his chest. He’s warm and his heart thumps under my fingers. A soft cry escapes my lips as I feel how incredible it is. He’s alive and I put my ear against his chest just to hear the sound. He wraps his arms around me and I collapse into the feeling of safety.

We stand like that for a long time. Then I push away and take his hand.

“Come with me…”

At first we’re walking, then we’re running, then we’re flying along the river path.

Later that night, pressed up against the high rise glass of my Tokyo apartment, we admire the city lights as we make love. We take our time and revel in the feel of each other’s skin, relearning each corner and curve of our bodies.

“I’m leaving Japan in a month,” I whisper, tilting my head back for his kiss as he nibbles the damp skin of my neck.  “Come with me…”

“Where…?”

“To North America. Home…”

He snakes his arm around my belly.

“Home…” he whispers. “Sounds good.”

The End.

Author’s Note

I’ve always loved that the Japanese literary landscape is particularly rich with ghost stories and that’s what inspired this piece.

I’m not Japanese myself and just wanted to caution that those aspects shouldn’t be taken as representative of the culture. I also apologize if some of this is incorrect and am happy to take any constructive criticism that would improve it. 

Kaidan translates to ‘ghost story’ but referring more to the Edo period version of these types of tales. It is an old-fashioned word not commonly used. Kaidan normally focuses on ghostly vengeance for misdeeds. Onryoor vengeful ghosts are often people who were powerless in life such as women or servants. Think ‘the Ring’.

Megane means ‘glasses’ or referring to a person who wears glasses.

Konbini is a word for convenience store.

Yashiro is a character from Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai. He gets his kicks out of purchasing a box of every single type of condom in the konbini just to see the store clerk’s expression.