It felt like I couldn't breathe.  I fell to my knees staring at my body, I can't make out what I was seeing. The only thing I understand at this moment is that I am not in my body, yet I'm not dead. At least I don't think I am.  "Hey sprout!" My dad walks through the door and right through me. "Whew, chilly in here. You messing with the thermostat again?" he laughs. Lenni2 goes to hug him. "Of course! I was melting over here! Home from work?" she asks. "Yep and for the whole day! Great news right?" Dad ruffles Lenni2's hair. "I wanted to help you with your garden." I reached out to touch my dad, but my hand went straight through him to my dismay. My dad shivers once more. "Let's go outside where I won't freeze." Lenni2 and dad made their way outside to tend to my garden.  I sat there blankly watching them chat away and pull out the weeds and tended to my plants.

I walked up next to them as they were talking about the rainy weather last night. "I love the sound of rain." My Dad exclaimed. "I slept like a baby last night." He stretched his arms and began to yawn. "Did you? You look, tired old man!" Lennni2 giggled. "When you get older and have a high maintenance job and handling an annoying teenager, come back and talk to me." My dad threw mud at Lenni2. It splattered from her clothes to the side of her face. He gave a hearty laugh. "Oh I see how it is, take that!" Lenni2 grabbed mud and smushed it in his hair. "Wow with all that mud dye you can barely see any grey hairs on your head." She laughed so hard that tears were coming from her eyes. My dad grabbed Lenni2 and wrestled her into the mud. It was spine-chilling. She acted just like me and my Dad think she is me. I began to believe she was me as well. 

My eyes started to water and my throat closed up. "Dad! That's not me!" I screamed. He didn't hear me. "Dad I'm over here, that's not me!" I screamed again. Of course no response. I was alone now. Too many questions, no answers, and whatever happened to me, I didn't know how to undo it if it could be done. I fell to my knees and sobbed. I was scared, not knowing what was going to happen to me.

Lenni2 and Dad got up from the mud, both still laughing. "I'll go get the hose to wash the mud off, afterwards, want to watch a movie?" My dad moved muddy hair fromLenni2's face. "I kind of want to go to town today."  My dad cocked his eyebrow. "Go into town? Can I ask why?" Lenni2 hugged him. "I know you guys are protective of me but I want to start to truly break out of my shell. So instead of shopping online, I want to go into the stores and purchase my clothes." My dad patted her head. "Are you sure sprout?" My Dad bent over a little for eye contact. "Your anxiety is bad and I don't want you to push yourself too hard." Lenni2 took a deep breath and nodded. "Please Dad, you will be there with me and I can't live like this forever. We both know that." My Dad rubbed his neck. "Yeah but-" Lenni2 cut him off. "I promise if it's too much to handle I will let you know immediately. I barely even saw the town and I lived here my whole life!" She chuckled. My Dad started to twiddle his ear, he always does this when he is unsure.

I didn't know what to say, of course, this is out of character for me. I mean sure I would bring it up sometimes that I wanted to try and defeat my anxiety but I always bailed. My dad has to tell the difference in my personality. "I'll tell you what." My dad pulled her in for a side hug. "We will wash up, and see what your mom says. I know you can't live like this forever, but the number one thing is, we just don't want to see you hurt." Lenni2 looked up at him. "I know dad, but we have to take these steps."  Dad smiled at Lenni2, "alright sprout." He smooshed Lenni2's forehead with kisses. "Don't feel bad if you can't handle it ok? It's trying that counts." Lenni2 nodded and grinned from ear to ear. My dad went to go fetch the hose and Lenni2 picked up the weeds they plucked out and placed them in a black bag. 

I followed and watched her. Most of the time, whenever I brought up going out to town, my parents kind of talked me out of it saying that it's alright to be comfortable for a while before I push myself to deal with my anxiety. If they had said yes, I couldn't muster up the courage to even get out of the car or leave the safe proximity of the house because I got too nervous about it. 

"It's not your fault you know." I snapped into reality and noticed that Lenni2 was facing me. "What?" I stepped back. "You can see me?" "Of course, I can, the transfer takes a few days to complete." Lenni2 took a few steps toward me. Now we were face to face. "As I said before, it's not your fault. Things have to be this way. Honestly, though, I do feel bad, but your life was going nowhere with that anxiety of yours and your ability to procrastinate and be a victim to something that is just a mindset. However that is your fault, you refused to tackle the challenge of figuring out what made you so anxious." I was hesitant to speak, I was a bit terrified too, as she talked down to me so easily. Her words cut like a knife. "Who are you? What happened to me, and why are you pretending to be me?" I tried to fight back my tears, I was terrified, not only was I talking to a stranger, this person was stealing my life. "Hmm." She scratched her head. "I'll answer any questions you have. It's the least I could do, but not right now." She tied up the black bag and hauled it to the compost bin. I walked a few feet behind her. "Answer my questions now!" I tried to sound demanding but it still came out with a trembling tone. "Listen, I am not the bad guy, I am doing you a favor so stay patient and grateful that you're getting the chance to talk to me at all." 

I went to say something else but was interrupted by dad hosing Lennni2 down. "I am the master of water! Kneel before me and feel my wrath." Dad did a fake evil laugh. Lenni2 shrieked and wrestled for the hose, she got it from him. "I have dethroned you, you tyrant, I shall restore balance with the power I steal from you! Cower in fear as I replace you as the new ruler!" Lenni2 hosed him down, Dad pretended to be pushed back by the hose and kneeled. "I yield my queen, spare me!" My dad begged. Lenni2 stopped the running water. "Glad you know your place!' She did a victory pose. Dad picked her up and spun her around as they both laughed. It pained me to see that not only that this person is in my body, but my Dad also has no clue that it was not me. 

"All right, let us go shower properly and head into town." Lenni2 nodded and said "Sounds like a plan! Carry your new ruler to her castle or face her wrath." Dad rolled his eyes. "Ok, you took down a tyrant to become a tyrant. God help us all." They both laughed as Dad carried Lenni2 inside. Leaving me behind in the garden, I stood and watched. Lenni2 glanced over my father's shoulder grinning at me as if she had won something. Truth is, with how I am it was an unfair fight and she knew that.