For some time after his father left, Thallian simply could not grasp what had happened between them. He knew what his father had said, he knew was no longer welcome at the only place he had ever called home, and he knew he was to go to Algoma City and somehow make a life for himself. He began to slowly pack the things he thought he would need, moving as if his father had given him simple instructions for some routine task or expectation.

It wasn't until late that afternoon, quite some time after his father had left him, that it truly sunk in for Thallian exactly what his father's words had meant. 

His father did not care, in any way, that Dracole had nearly assaulted him. That he didn't mind if Thallian was interested in other men did cause Thallian pause. All his life he had been led to believe, by what he had seen or heard about when he visited the town of Flocksfield and also among his household, that wanting other men wasn't the desired way for anyone to be. It wouldn't result in children, and having and raising good children was a person's most important obligation in life. Relationships with other men would only result in loneliness in the end because such relationships could never endure for very long. Because they could not have children, any relationship between two men would lack the most important factor that resulted in strong relationships. This lack of children was also why men could never marry each other, and the only reason to be involved romantically was marriage, and marriage meant children. Only marriage could fully support the children born into it, and marriage was one of the most important social contracts in Berk. It was why those who never married were frowned upon, why marriages could never be ended except by death, and why, therefore, if a man wanted another man he must be alone and unhappy.

Yet, at least one of Thallian's brothers also desired the company of other men. Of course, as his father had suggested, that was perhaps only accepted because he was married and had children. Unlike whichever brother it was, Thallian could never live like that. He had never desired women. He had expected he would simply marry and have children one day without truly considering what that would mean. It had simply been something he had never quite thought about, especially not in how it related to his attraction to other men.

But now he would not be marrying, at least not in Berk. He had magic. Something he had never considered, despite some of the odd things that had happened throughout his life. Nothing had ever happened like the mysterious barrier that had kept Dracole from touching him. It had all been little things before, like somehow keeping ink from spilling when he'd used a broken quill in a pinch to write an inventory of the dairy equipment the year previous. Or when he'd managed to keep his new clothes clean while helping to birth a stuck lamb. There had been no time to run back to the house for different clothes when he'd stopped to check the pregnant sheep and goats after returning from the spring festival for the god Ayzy.

He supposed, looking back, that magic was the only explanation for these things, but why did he have magic? What was it that his father had said about Thallian's grandmother? Could it be that she had had magic and Thallian had never been told?

Thallian had heard of such people with magic being feared in Flocksfield. Thallian had seen a woman performing tricks forced to stop and leave the town immediately, as the sun was setting for the night that was bound to be cold. He never knew what had happened to her. Magic was something to be feared, yet it had kept Thallian safe. How could he harm anyone with a spell that acted protectively?

Unless there was more that he could do...

He shook his head and blinked up at the canopy above his bed. He was once again laying there and staring up above, as if the play of shadow and sunlight from the large windows could answer all his questions and comfort is wild thoughts.

What was he to do alone in Algoma? It was a strange country he knew almost nothing about. What he did know came from the most basic education on their laws about trade and foreign travelers. He knew they had a king, unlike Berk that had an Overlord, someone chosen by the Council of Lords, the Council being made of a representative from each region of Berk who had been chosen by the heads of each wealthy family.

He also knew that the country was far more welcoming to people with magic. He knew this from the stories of warnings given to any who might one day travel there to trade. Thallian had heard that the King of Algoma had someone called a Guardian who was a sorcerer if high ability who would kill to protect the king and his family. Some said every member of the royal family had Guardians, others said it was only the king. If the King was willing to have someone with magic so close then surely the country was more welcoming toward magic. 

How welcoming they may be about the other aspect of Thallian's life, he didn't dare consider. He could still live his life as he would have in Berk if he needed to. Even if he was able to find some moments of pleasure, his life itself could hardly be that different.

Of course he knew, and finally realized, that his life never would be the same. He would never be able to speak to his family again. After he left, he would never speak to his mother again, never play with his nieces and nephews. He would be a foreigner in a country he'd never even visited, only learned a terribly small amount about it. He would be learning to use magic he'd never truly known he had. 

How was he to do it alone?

The very word alone echoed through his mind. Suddenly overcome, he turned his face to the soft sheets of his bed, and wept.