Eleven Years Ago

Ivy's first snog went something like this.

They were in secondary school. Miraculous as it was, both she and Chastity had managed to go to the same school. It had been such a marvelous thing. Being called to the same school in the probably rigged system that was the school selection? Who were they to question. Ivy occassionally liked to torture herself with thoughts of having never gone to the same secondary school. Watching their friendship fizzle out and then being lonely and plagued with the very idea that the love of her life slipped away. Alas, that is not the story here. This is the story of Ivy's first snog. 

It was a particularly shinny Saturday and classes had just ended. Lunch was underway – their favourite, mind. Pilau with meat stew and steamed cabbage. The secret had to be in the egregious amount of oil used on everything; the unbreakable film at the top of the meat stew. They had decided it was a day for two fillings. One at the dinning hall to get acquinted with the laze of it all then the second was to be demolished in the hostels. 

It was shaping up to being a good day because it had been one of those rare July days when it was warm instead of the usual ice cold. Posters had been thrown up promising mind blowing entertainment and so they had plans for the majority of it. Or not. Peer pressure was occasionally a bitch.

Back to their hostel rooms, plates filled into steaming heaps, they lounged on their beds, lazy topics renting the air. Their roomies, Shaz and Habibo were already changed into their track suits, debating whether they really needed to do their laundry.

"Ugh," Shaz complained, "so I was at comp lessons, bored out of my mind when I decided to google about first kisses." From any other, it would have been a random route in conversation but everyone was used to Shaz. She said just about anything and no one would wonder why there specifically.

"During class? Why?" Habibo inquired.

"I was bored?" Shaz shrugged as though that was a stupid question to ask. "Plus I wanted to see if I was too old. You know how those American movies like telling us we are supposed to have been kissed by 16."

"So?" Habibo inquired. "We are not Americans and we are in an all-girls boarding school. Unless you plan on kissing boys at funkies, I don't see why that should be your standard."

"I know," Shaz said as she placed her empty plate on the floor, laying on her bed like a star fish. "But, you know, I thought by now I'd at least have some snogging in place. Something to tell people."

"Kissing isn't all that," Habibo said seriously. This had everyone in momentary quiet as they turned to face her in shock. She shrugged. "I'm Muslim, not a prisoner."

"It's just... wow. I didn't expect that." Shaz said and both Chastity and Ivy agreed. "Power to you, I guess? Was he like your first boyfriend or something?"

"Nope. We were just curious and so we tried it. Would not recommend."

"Could be he was the lousy you needed to appreciate the second one," Ivy said sagely and both Shaz and Chastity agreed. "I mean, those American movies insist on that, right?"

Habibo disagreed. "Books insist on that. Movies have that perfect one in the end."

After that, they all went into some heavy afternoon nap courtesy of the self-indulgent food comma they'd given themselves. They'd been woken up by the ruckus happening outside. Both Shaz and Habibo then quickly got ready for the night filled with cheap entertainment, giving up on convincing either Chastity or Ivy joining them.

"I am Number Four is strictly still in theatres, you know," Habibo said sagely.

"Meaning by the time we go home 123movies will have us properly sorted." She'd snorted but left the two of them alone in the room.

Twenty minutes later and the hostel was almost pin drop silent. Lazy people who wanted to max out on their sleep time and broke people who were forced to be there out of necessity were the only ones around.

Ivy had never really thought about her first kiss all that much. She supposed, at some point, it was going to happen but it was probably slatted for uni. Secondary school was just a pit stop for all the bad first kiss stories. Uni was where people understood who they were and somehow, alongside that, good kissing just happened.

"Chas?" she called out. "What's your secret?"

Chastity was quiet. Ivy corrected herself by calling Chastity by her full name. "It loses meaning otherwise," she insisted and Ivy thought she was full of shit. She just wanted to come off as more sophisticated now that she was a year away from being a proper senior.

"I've had a first kiss," Chastity stated.

"What?" Ivy got out of her bed and sat on Chastity's, not caring for the protests that were coming from her. "How have I not heard of this?"

"Well," Chastity sat up, "it didn't happen that long ago. It happened last weekend."

Ivy could feel her face scrunching up as she tried to piece together what could have happened for such a big thing to occur then it hit her. "EMUN?"

Chastity nodded and tried to hide under her covers.

"Your first kiss was at the UN? What the fuck? Who was it with? I hope it wasn't a loser. How did I not know about this even? Tell me everything!" Even though she was trying her damnest to sound upbeat, Ivy could not help the hurt that had slithered right in, chocking her throught then her heart. She felt as though breath was away from her but she could not show it because then, who was going to save her? 

Chastity groaned. "I didn't tell you because I'm still kind of embarrassed about it, okay? It was some random boy from Upperhill. He looked like he could do the job and also like he liked me so I thought, why not? We disappeared into some washrooms and we kissed then we didn't speak after."

Ivy covered her mouth, scandalized. "You kissed a strange boy?"

"What?" Chastity hit her lightly with her pillow. "Adults do it."

"We aren't adults though."

Chastity sighed. "I also didn't want that."

"Didn't want what?"

"You, judging me."

"I'm not—" but she was, she realized. Not even the kind of judgement one reserved for people who did improper things. Ivy liked to think of herself as beyond that.

No. Her judgement was not even judgement. It was that tight gripping jealousy. Yes, she'd never really imagined her first kiss all that much but she'd always just thought Chastity was on the same page as her. They were going to worry about those things in uni. Secondary school was just messy. Besides, it bred things like not telling one's best friend that they'd already had their first kiss.

"Sorry," she relented. "I should be better about this." She cleared her throat and clapped her hands, placing them carefully on her laps. "Did you at least enjoy it?"

Chastity shrugged. She did that a lot when she wasn't sure about what she was feeling which was almost always. "It was fine. I could have done with the no tongue though. He just shoved it all in and I was so shocked I tried to copy back."

"I wonder what good kissing is supposed to be like."

"Probably less tongue if you were to ask me."

"No saliva fountain," Ivy supplied.

"Probably no teeth smashing."

"Probably," Ivy said, looking at her fingers.

They were quiet for a considerable amount of time before Chastity said, "Want to try?"

It was a rare thing, having Ivy blush. For one, her skin was dark so no one could ever truly see her blush but if one tried to venture a little bit close, the tips of her ears were a dead give-away. If one was to venture even closer and place their hands on her cheeks, the absolute heat of them would have made them flinch.

Chastity had done none of these and for this, Ivy had been entirely grateful.

"Here?" she asked, her voice low and small.

Chastity nodded. "I don't see anyone here, do you?"

She made a perfect argument. She had the potential to be a lawyer with her hole-less statements.

"Unless you don't want to which is fine."

"NO!" Ivy adjusted her volume and tried to bring her cool back. "I mean, no. It's fine. I'm okay. I mean, I'd rather have my first kiss with someone I actually love than someone I don't."

"Exactly."

"Okay."

Ivy took in a deep breath, tried to calm the shaking of her hands and went in for it just as Chastity reflected her.

The kiss felt very cool. Ivy imagined it was because of the cool air all around. Chastity begun moving her lips and Ivy mirrored her. A hand slipped to her cheek and she sighed into the kiss, bringing herself closer to her friend, pushing for a little bit more. As though Chastity could hear her, she did push a bit of tongue into the mix, gently parting Ivy's lips and getting acquainted with her tongue.

She tasted like cold water and the joy after rain.

Ivy let her hands slide to Chastity's waist as she pulled her closer, the distance between them feeling too much like kilometres instead of a mere inches. A small noise escaped Chastity. This elated Ivy so much her heart was positively galloping. Everything was perfect. So much so she got fully onto her bed and straddled her.

It was thrilling and so hot and she wanted to risk it all but then something outside their door dropped and the both of them startled, Ivy moving as far away from her as she possibly could, straightening her clothes which had gone askew.

"Well," she said in nervous laughter after both of them were sure no one was coming into their room, "that was very educational."

And just as Ivy was ready to drown herself into possibilities, the euphoria of kissing Chastity, she was halted right about by sanity - something that had disapppeared for a good chunk of the evening. It was a crush she was hoping to float away but now she'd had a taste and she knew, in her heart of hearts, it was not going to go away now.

It had been a perfect fuck up.

Author's Note

You guys, we are barely a week old and we've reached 100 reads, 7 likes and 5 subs? I'm so happy I could literally die! Thanks for sticking around so far! 🖤