Kai

What is his problem? I ask myself over and over as I pretend to pay attention to the lecture. I still have three classes left, yet I barely remember getting to this one. I can't focus, although it doesn't matter much. None of the material being taught is new to me. I had spent the month before school started at the nearest public library. It was full of books I had already read and textbooks that had likely been "donated" through the years.

The textbooks were not my first choice by any means, but I had learned the hard way that if you aren't actively working on something or reading, you will most likely be kicked out, and if you are kicked out of the library once, you would never be let back in. Plus, it never hurts to know more than you need. Now was a great example. I already know the information, so I don't have to worry much about taking notes or paying attention. For some reason, I was also not allowed to test out of any of the classes, meaning I had to suffer through pointless lectures and time consuming tests if I didn't want to be dropped.

At least this means I don't have to worry about listening to either boring or extroverted professors. Instead, classes give me time to think, which is nice when I have a lot on my mind and no other time to sort through it all. And, oh dear, do I have thoughts pestering me right now... or rather, people. Well, one person in particular: the blonde, whose name apparently, is Ash. I had caught him glaring at me again during another class that we apparently share. I couldn't figure out why he seemed to hate me so much. We hardly ever interacted, if at all, so it couldn't be personal. But the intensity of his glare said it was. The only reasons I had come up with so far are that I had either unintentionally hurt one of his friends, or that it had something to do with the test earlier today.

Sighing, I look down at the cracked screen of my prepaid phone. Only a month in this town and the brand new thing was busted up. I sighed again before catching sight of the day: Thursday. That means that I once again get to clean the bathrooms in Copernicus Hall, where all the science laboratory classrooms are. I just hope that my peers can keep their lunches down today. What was so bad about the labs that you throw up? The school had to have access to good equipment and decent professors. So much easier than dissecting a frog with a rusty, bent scalpel that wouldn't be able to slice through paper, let alone flesh. Maybe it was simply all the snotty kids, the ones who had never before had to make their own lunch or clean up after others, that couldn't keep it down.

Once I was done with my classes, I went through my job, luckily not seeing another soul while cleaning the 4 bathrooms on each of the 4 floors of the building. Not a single sick person in sight. It was so much easier to simply turn up the music from my earbuds than deal with my thoughts or with people, vomiting or not. I focused on the notes and beats, the only things in my life that I could always count on, literally.

I listened to the playlist I had made that was a simple compilation of the songs that would be performed for both the college and community band. This was important music, rather than something to simply distract. Makes a better excuse when people ask why I'm breaking the only rule of janitorial: no devices, especially ones being used for music. You were supposed to be able to hear when someone was trying for your attention, like any amount of noise could block out other people. If it were possible, I had not yet discovered the secrets to that ability.

My phone buzzed slightly as I clocked out. Looking down, I found that it was Clyde. I nearly groaned at the sight of his extremely long "paragraph". The gist of which saying that he would not be coming back to the dorm tonight. That meant I would have a room to myself for an entire evening. I smiled probably for the first time in years. Between the music swarming my ears and the lucky message of finally getting to be alone, I was almost feeling relaxed. It was something worth smiling about, something nearly as wonderful as that last date with him, that date right before I had left forever, never to see him again except for in my memories.

I reminded myself of the present, of where I was and the fact that anyone could walk by and disturb what little light I had at the moment. I pulled myself out of my thoughts, my marvelous memories. Memories of the home-made dinner he made, the candles he set out, the petals on the bed... No! I will not think of it. Nope. I can't. That would be far too painful. Maybe I could let my dreams have at those memories tonight. No one would be around to bother me, after all.

It was a thoroughly pleasant thought, that I would finally have some peace and quiet to myself. If only tomorrow weren't Friday. Or maybe tomorrow could just never come. Tomorrow, I would have to go back home, back to that place that I shared with my parents and their friends, to that place where I didn't have any personal space. Ever.

For now, though, I can forget about tomorrow and him and everything and everyone. For now, I will enjoy my uneventful evening of complete peace and utter loneliness. For now, maybe I can sleep uninterrupted and relax thoroughly.

It would be worth a try at the very least.