SAMAEL

"Adam..." Lilith's voice appeared to be calm, but if I paid careful attention, I could hear it trembling and the sound of her heart pumping. 

She was excited to see her husband. No, not excited. Scared. She was scared.

I scowled as the door slammed shut with a loud thud as she entered the house. I crouched down behind a fragrant green and abnormally wet shrub. I fiddled with a leaf in my hands, listening intently to the sounds coming from inside while I stared at the now-closed door.

"Where did you go?" Adam was asking Lilith. His voice was filled with rage and I wondered what it was.

Lilith inhaled deeply, "I took a walk. I was feeling-" she paused, "-stressed so I took a walk."

She said the lie so effortlessly that I grinned. I was eager to see what would transpire once she had the agency. 

My smile was swiftly tempered by the thought. If Lilith received the agency, a lie like that would subject her to punishment from my father, and I didn't want any human to possess the agency in the first place. I came here specifically for that purpose. 

I needed to focus.

"You couldn't wait for me?" Adam asked. 

"I don't always have to wait for you," Lilith retorted. 

I stood and walked over to the door. Now I could hear the heartbeats of Adam and Lilith more clearly. Her heartbeat was delicate, pulsating, and quick in a way that suggested she was a little too anxious in contrast to his, which was menacing and it was obvious he was getting angry. 

He made her nervous.

I raised an eye to the door. If I went in, she would be furious, and I wouldn't want to have to introduce myself to the king of Eden. It was sufficient that I was able to convince Lilith that my father had sent me. Any more humans being deceived by me would be pushing it, at least that was what Lucifer would say.

His voice was low and dark, and when he said, "Lilith, I'm your husband," she responded with a quiet cry that alerted me.

I stepped around to a window by the door that was only partially covered by a piece of fabric and took a peek inside. Adam towered over his wife and had his hand at her throat. 

I tightened my fists.

"I'm sorry. Please, d-don't," she managed to get out, "not n-now."

As though she could sense my presence, her eyes slipped towards where I was standing in front of the window and widened when she saw my face or the frightening expression in my gaze.

"N-not here," she added.

Adam pushed her away from him inadvertently too firmly and she slumped back to the ground. At that moment, I could hear nothing but the drumming of her heart and the voice in my head. It had grown clearer, angrier, just like it used to be.

"Go inside!" It snarled, "end him there! Hit him until he's nothing but a-" 

"No!" I was startled out of my trance by Lilith's words, which also made me realize that I had already sprung off the ground. I was prepared to swoop in and watch what one powerful punch from my fist would do to Adam's frail body. 

I sank to the ground. 

Lilith slowly rose from the ground, and as tears trickled down her cheeks, all I wanted to do was smack him for hurting her. It was an odd response. I never had problems with seeing creatures hurt each other.

That was what made me different. 

Lilith was rooted to the spot as Adam stalked into a different room. She wiped away her tears and turned to look at me. When I noticed the expression on it, I scowled. 

She wanted me to leave.

I whirled around and leaped into the air, my wings carrying me straight to the sky.

I was furious—furious at Adam, furious at Lilith, furious at myself for caring, and most of all, furious at my father. If he opposed angels harming one another, if I had to spend all that time in jail for making Michael harm Uriel—why was it so commonplace in Eden?

***

Lucifer was gazing at a long purple blanket when I entered the cave again. The warm glow from the fire m dimmed the blue in his eyes and cast a pleasant illumination over his face. He smiled at me when he raised his head, but it didn't seem to be a particularly happy one. 

"You've been thinking," I said.

Lucifer thought a lot. Even though Uriel was the archangel of wisdom, Lucifer actually gave everything more thought than anybody else. His mind was constantly going, sometimes at an alarming pace. When it came to father and everything that involved our father, he wanted everything to be just right. It was therefore necessary to consider everything.

"The blanket belongs to Eloise," he said, "she forgot it here," the ghost of a smile grew across his lips, "she's a sweet child, isn't she?"

I clenched my lips shut and remained silent. I wasn't sure if I liked the kid, but if she kept Lucifer safe until I arrived at the cave, maybe she wasn't so awful. 

"She's honest, really honest, and her objectives are just those that make her feel good about herself," he said.

"You got that all from her tonight?"

He nodded, "we had a lengthy conversation," he said, "because she asked me for a favor in return for helping me."

I knew the child couldn't be trusted. Of course, she requested a favor from him. Lilith didn't request a favor from me. I did wish she would ask me to give her husband a lesson though. 

"What did the child want?" I asked.

As his eyes grew softer, Lucifer shifted his attention back to the blanket, "she requested that I change her into a man, not a boy," he said with a bitter chuckle. "She believes that angels possess the same creative abilities as our father, and she wants to be created once more." 

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "why would she want that?"

Lucifer shrugged, "according to Eloise, the men and women are different in Eden. She feels more inclined to live her life as a male human than as a female. She tries to show and tell her parents but they call her stubborn and force her to be with the women," he took a deep breath, "eventually, they'll force her to marry and she thinks that'll make her really sad." 

I grimaced, "she's a little too young to be considering that, don't you think so?"

I mean, Lilith was married but she was a fully developed adult human. On the other hand, Eloise was tiny. If I wanted to, I could simply crush her with my feet. Even the angels were once youngsters, and we were only permitted to study and prepare for our future tasks. The thought of Eloise getting married at her current age gave me the willies. 

Lucifer nodded his head thoughtfully, "yes but she claims it's what her mother speaks about all the time as if there's nothing else for her to look forward to."

I was about to speak, but I let a few seconds go by. Lucifer looked up at me and held my gaze.

"Something is wrong here," he said.

I nodded, "when I got here, I met Lilith and I was shocked when she identified herself as the queen of Eden, but then- 

-she appeared too terrified and uneasy to be a monarch. She was unable to make decisions on her own without me prodding her, and even then, she was hesitant about them. She was more satisfied with going to her husband."

"The king," Lucifer frowned, "so Eden is like the heavens in its hierarchical structure. We are superior to the angels in the way the men are superior to the women."

I tossed my head, "It's not the same," I remarked, "at least in the heavens, the hierarchy serves only to hold everyone accountable. Regardless of rank, there is still general respect, and nobody is hitting or forcing anyone to do anything," I continued, "the angels aren't even capable of hurting each other." 

"What are you talking about?"

I gave him my best blink before averting my eyes as I described what I had seen in Lilith's home. I didn't think I would have to but I couldn't keep it a secret from him either.

"Are you certain he hurt her?" His tone was a melancholy whisper.

"Yes, and when we passed by the house earlier, before we arrived here, Lilith was glaring at him with a furious expression on her face. I know that look. The king and queen of father's new world are not at peace and I don't think they have been for a while."

The big question now was, why had my father let it go on? 

Lucifer sighed deeply as he brushed his palm over his face. His arms were extended behind him to support his head as he then collapsed to the ground. 

He was thinking again.

"We were never close as kids, Samael," he stated so abruptly. 

My attention was now focused on the fire, which was presently sputtering orange embers to the cave's ceiling. I resisted the impulse to touch it, for fear of Lucifer's reaction.

Growing up, I never felt particularly close to any one of my brothers. I loved them all equally, though Michael and I spent the most time together because he looked up to me. Uriel liked to linger close, but I could see that he did so to watch us. He never had faith in my ability to avoid trouble. From the moment I was created, it seemed like trouble always followed me.

I was, however, always pardoned—up until that day. 

I acknowledged to Lucifer, "Yes, I know."

Lucifer wasn't close to any of our brothers either. He spent more of his time with father than anyone else. More than anyone else, he spent time with our father. Father was adored by all. There was no good reason not to but Lucifer had a stronger love for him, even if love couldn't exactly be measured. 

He grew up following father everywhere. He invested his talents in music and instrument learning because he wanted to be a big part of the praise at events. Lucifer spent his time learning when our father wasn't around, and when he was around, he spent his time showing him what he had learned while savoring every proud compliment that was offered. 

It was as admirable as it was peculiar.

"I was present when the authorities informed father about Uriel's injury. I was certain that he would ask them to bring you to him but instead," Lucifer said, "he called for a debate..."

I remembered when I was told my fate would be debated.

Lucifer continued, "When you were taken away, I remember hearing you scream and I pleaded with father to let you go after. I asked him why he did that, but he wouldn't tell me. He didn't typically punish this harshly but there was something else that confused me..."

I turned to face him as he sat up, "I became aware of one thing after spending so much time with father. He had his reasons for creating us in the manner he did, and I believe he had those same reasons for creating you. That's why I began coming to see you. I never once thought you were a mistake Samael."

My jaw tensed at his words, and I turned my head away. I once thought it was acceptable for me to act in the ways I did simply because I couldn't change how I was. I had stolen, lied, and engaged in physical conflict with the authorities as a young angel. When my wings sprouted for the first time and everyone noticed I had black feathers, it was simply further evidence that I was poisonous and that something was wrong with me.

I used to console myself by thinking that my father was perfect and that he had intended for me to be unique and exceptional the way I was, but he didn't think twice about locking me in a dark room or depriving me of manna for a very long time. He allowed the authorities to separate me from everyone, starve me, and lock me up because they believed it was risky to keep me outside should I taint the minds of the other angels. 

If that didn't mean that he too regretted what he made then I didn't know what I could make of it. 

"What does this have to do with Eden?" I asked Lucifer in what I believed was a straight voice, but it very well could have been shaken.

"Father made you the way you were and he made Eloise the way she is. He's also watched Adam hurt Lilith without intervening. Father doesn't make mistakes so how would you explain creating an angel with the power to corrupt and a female human who feels anything but that?"

I laughed and said, "Tell me if you know." 

"I don't know either," he sighed.

He was denying it. He was fully aware of the answer, but his devotion to my father kept him from seeing it. Even if the truth hit Lucifer square in the face, he would never be able to accept that my father was using our very existence as a pawn in a game of his and I hoped it wouldn't be too late before I could prove this to him.