Leaning back against the cement wall inside the funeral home I tried in vain to block out the angry shouts of my dad directing the guards where to search for Aaron. After finding that note I had stood there for a few minutes in shock and fear at the little black letters on the paper. It was only after my dad who had seen me exit came looking for me that I was finally snapped out of my stunned silence. It took all my energy to keep from crying as my trembling hands handed him the note. I still Remember the moment his solemn face became one of rage as he crumpled up the note and shouted for the guards present to search the surrounding area. The funeral had obviously been temporarily postponed earning me some pretty nasty glares from the families and friends present for their loved ones ceremony. They were not pleased that once again their lives were shook up because of me.

Closing my eyes I attempted to ignore the hatred in the eyes of the guests still present. Most had left by this point not wanting to stick around if there wasn’t going to be a funeral. While others stuck around to help clean up and occasionally send me death glares every chance they got. It’s not like I asked for my ex fiancé to be crazy, but it is what it is.

“This is all your fault you know.” I heard someone sneer beside me. Opening my eyes I gazed up to see Sapphire, Conner’s older sister, and Fredericks girlfriend of 2 years, glaring down at me with big puffy red rimmed eyes from crying, and her arms crossed over her chest.

“This is all your fault.” She repeated just as harshly as I frowned up at her.

“If it weren’t for you, Kyle would still be alive right now, and Conner wouldn’t have been shot with an arrow.”

“Sapphire I...” she held up a hand eyes closed stopping me mid sentence. Opening her eyes she stared down at me pure hatred in her eyes.

“Don’t. Just don’t. There is nothing you could possibly say to fix this. You are nothing but trouble and I am so glad Fredrick is the crown royal and not you. I would hate to see how you would drag this country to ruin if you ever became queen.” She seethed spitting in my face before turning and heading out the front doors leaving me sitting there staring sadly at the oak doors she exited through. I couldn’t blame her for being upset after all its because of me that one of her brothers was sent to the hospital for an arrow injury while the other was killed in an explosion meant for me. If the roles were reversed I am sure I would probably act the exact same way. Sighing I get to my feet and head toward the doors myself when I stop as I see Conner in one of the rooms standing in front of his brothers coffin. Changing my destination I head toward Conner and wrap my arm around his shoulder as I also gaze at Kyle’s resting place.

“I can’t believe that’s really him in there. I half expect him to leap out at any moment screaming it was all just a prank.” He whispered sadly a tear sliding down his cheek.

“But he’s gone and I won’t see him again in this life.” We stood there in silence neither of us knowing exactly what to say until finally he sighed and moving away from me headed for the front door. For a moment I just watched him go before turning my gaze back to Kyle. Walking up to him I gently placed my hand on his coffin bidding him one last farewell before turning and following Conner out the door. Stopping at the edge of the doorway I scanned the surroundings until I spotted my dad arguing with Conner's Temporary sub while he was on injury leave. Walking over to them I could hear my dads angry voice floating over to me as he demanded to know why they couldn’t find Aaron. Noticing me approaching my dad waved away the guard who bowed to me and quickly left. Sighing my dad tiredly turned to me rubbing the back of his head.

“You know I thought when Aaron disappeared after holding you hostage and did not reappear for an entire year that it was over. Obviously not.” He sighed lowering his hand to his side.

“Yeah sorry about that.” I sadly replied crossing my arms over my chest as I looked at the ground to the left of me.

“Its not your fault. No one not even I expected Aaron would turn out to be so crazy.” I grimaced slightly at that as I with one hand played with the chain around my neck while the other arm remained wrapped tightly around my middle.

“Everyone else thinks it is.” I quietly whispered trying to hide the pain in my eyes. Pulling me into a hug my dad gently kissed the top of my head as he held me.

“They are just in a lot of pain right now. No one actually blames you. I am sure in a little while things will get better, but right now people are grieving and as unfair as it seems that usually comes with a bit of blame. During times of tragedy people tend to look for someone to blame and they just happened to choose you since the attacks were originally aimed at you. Once they have had a chance to properly grieve they will soften. You’ll see.” He soothed. After a moment he pulled away and giving me one more tired smile he went in search of a guard. Watching him go I tried my best to believe him but Sapphires hate filled words continued to play over and over again in my head like a broken tape recorder. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she was right.

                                                                                    ____

"Sasha are..."

"I'm fine Conner." I interrupted forcing a smile on my time worn face. My eyes glimmering with a pain far to old for one so young. By the grimace Conner gave me I could tell he did not believe my forced cheery voice. He always could see through my masks. Sighing I turned away from him. Choosing instead to stare out the window overlooking my kingdom. My back resting against the stone wall of my window perch. The cushions beneath me feeling like stones as I struggled to keep my emotions in check.

I huffed in slight exasperation rolling my eyes as I felt his warm hands on my legs. Gently pushing them off the bench I perched on and sat down where they once lay. I winced at the sorrow look in his eyes as he delved into my soul. His soft hazel gaze breaking my heart with the deep earth shattering love portrayed there. It was too much. How could he look at me that way. As if I hung the sun and moon. How could he still want anything to do with me. It's my fault he is now an only child. My fault that my family is currently scouring the area for signs of Aaron. My fault that Aaron is even like this.

It was too much for my throbbing heart to take. Turning my gaze back to the happy hustle and bustle of my kingdom. I ignored his presence hoping he would realize how foolish it is to care about a monster and will leave. Yet still a part of my traitorous heart still hoped he wouldn't leave. That he would still be my friend even amongst my grievous sins. Thats crazy though. Why would he stay knowing my presence will only get him killed. So being the coward I am I forced my eyes to remain on the outside world. Not ready to see his love turn to disgust.

I was forced from my thoughts by a warm hand on mine. Jumping in shock I snapped my eyes to the worried face of my childhood friend. By the determined gleam in his eyes I could tell. He knew exactly where my thoughts had just traveled to.

"Sasha I know that look, and let me make it clear to you now. I am not leaving, nor will I ever leave. If you couldn't drive me away when you drove the limo into the lake when we were kids. If I didn't leave you to drown after you nearly got us killed back than. Than why in the world would I leave now. Do you remember the promise I made you that day in the hospital? After I dragged your body from the sinking limo?" Immediately as if pulled by a hook my mind was once more trapped in the past. Images of battle worn child looking so fragile in a hospital room flashed by my eyes.

***

"Sasha!"

"Sasha please open your eyes!"

"Sasha!" Groaning at the insistent childish voice demanding my attention. I tiredly blinked open my eyes. Wincing at the slight throbbing pounding my head into the feather bed. Focusing my sight. I slowly, painfully turn my head to the relieved young boy leaning over the side of my bed. One of his arms in a sling.

"C...Conner? Where am I. I...." I gasped cutting myself off as the memories of our descent to the lake. Returned to my throbbing head. I probably would have bolted up at that if Conner hadn't read the panic in my eyes, and placed a gentle yet firm hand on my shoulder. Keeping me from injuring myself further.

"Conner how did we get here? Why am I even still alive? I..."

"Woah calm down Sasha. One question at a time." He chuckled sitting down on the edge of the bed. A gentle smile on his face.

"Now as for your questions. After you passed out from loss of blood and lack of oxygen. I managed to escape the seat belt and once the pressure in the car had equalized with the water outside. I broke the window and dragged you to the surface. It was a close call but thankfully some passerby cars had seen us fly off the edge and came after us. Otherwise I doubt I would have had the strength to get us both to safety." He replied his smile never wavering. My brows creased in confusion as my gaze fell once more on his arm.

"But how did you get me up to the surface with a broken arm?"

"Hmm oh my arm isn't broken. It's just sprained. Yeah it's true it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, but the doctors think it was a combination of the adrenaline. Plus my fear of you dying that allowed me the strength to push past the pain. It was after I managed to get you above water and saw the rescue teams coming for us that the adrenaline started to wear off. I nearly passed out myself at that point. It was only through sheer force of will that I held on till the rescue boat reached us and pulled us aboard." He hummed thoughtfully as his own eyes strayed to his hurt arm. Nodding than wincing at the movement. I lifted a hand to my bandaged head as if it would stop the pain. Before once more lowering my hand to my side. Eyes falling to my bandaged hands in my lap. I avoided eye contact as I once more opened my mouth to speak.

"So.... I guess this is goodbye than." His smile dropped at this. A look of confusion crossing his face.

"What are you talking about? Why would this be goodbye?" Now I was confused. Raising my tear filled eyes to his confused gaze. I answered.

"W...Well I assumed since I nearly got you killed you wouldn't want anything more to do with me. I..." His loud boisterous laughter stopped me mid sentence.

"Oh Sasha of course I am not leaving. Sure you were an idiot, but I am just as much to blame for not fighting harder to stop you." He chuckled wiping a mirthful tear from his eyes.

"But...."

"No. No buts. I am going to tell you something and than you are going to drop this crazy topic and get some rest. Preferably before the nurse realizes I am out of bed and snuck into your room again." He stated in a serious voice. Curious as to what he was going to say. I nodded agreeing to his conditions.

"Sasha. I have always known you were a bit crazy and tended to draw danger to you like a magnet. I have known this since the day you nearly caused me to fall out a window when we were six after I slipped on a ball you left lying around. Yet still I stayed. That is because you are my friend and I love you like a sister. Sasha I promise you no matter where our lives lead. No matter how many times you nearly get me killed. I will always, always be your friend. I promise you there is nothing you can do that will every drive me away. Until the die my soul ceases to exist I will be beside you. Serving you as my princess, my queen, and my best friend. That I promise till eternity ends." He vowed. His good arm crossed over his chest in a sign of loyalty as he kneeled before me. Taking my hand gently in his good hand. He brought it up to his lips. Sealing his vow with a kiss to the back of my hand.

I Broke at that. My tears overflowing as I broke into ugly sobs. I felt his good arm surrounding my back and pulling me gently against my chest. My tears wetting his hospital gown and he gently comforted me. It was only by the firey entrance of one very irate nurse that finally broke us apart. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. As Conner turning as pale as a ghost pleaded with the nurse as she dragged him out by his ear. Spitting harsh scoldings at the whimpering boy.

****

Tears filled my eyes. flowing down my pale pink cheeks as he pulled me into his arms. Allowing my tears to wet his shirt.

"I made that promise to you long ago and I make it to you again my princess. I don't care what crazy psyco path attacks. Not even death will keep me from being your friend and serving you as your knight. You may never become queen, but you will always be my queen to me. I promise you Sasha this will never change." It was than as my shattered heart slowly began piecing itself together that I realized. Maybe I am not as alone as I thought. Maybe just maybe everything really will be ok. If only I knew how false those words soon would prove. Soon nothing would ever be alright for a very long time again.