TOREN ▪︎ POV
I rushed around the motel room, picking up clothes off the floor and taking them into the crappy bathroom to dump them in the bath for a good soak. Paying for laundry service was a luxury I couldn't afford and so I made do with what I had, scrubbing clothes in warm water with the unscented soap bar the motel provided. It did the trick. Our natural scents as wolves overpowered the somewhat damp, sterile scent that clung to the clothes anyway.
The door was open and Lilian was on her bed with her eyes closed, her pretty face tilted up at the ceiling. She was bored out of her fucking mind and I made a mental note to come back with a book or something to entertain her with while I left during the day. It was risky leaving her alone here with Sammy, but I could hardly bring them along with me, even if it was illegal to leave a three year old and an eleven year old home alone together.
Sammy was biting at the bedposts, scraping through wood with his sharp little canines. The little pup's black fur was still fluffy with youth, his ears too big for his head, his little legs and paws clumsy. Sammy shifted for the first time two years ago and never shifted back. He needed a pack doctor, and deep down I was absolutely terrified he'd gone feral, but we didn't have access to that sort of care right now.
I told myself repeatedly that as long as he was healthy and showing normal pup behaviour - like chewing on everything he could reach with his mouth - then he was okay. Dangerous thinking. But there was nothing I could do until I got a job, which was the first thing on my agenda today.
After washing the clothes, I hung some of them over the chair in the corner and some up on the rusty shower rack to dry. Sammy came barrelling over, plonking himself down on top of my shoes and I scooped him up, running my fingers through his fur. He was also deaf, so I used touch as well as sign with him the best I could, even though I could tell he wasn't so interested in trying to communicate back - at least not in a human way.
"Lilian," I called my sister, feeling my throat vibrate with the sound of my voice. I preferred not to talk as much as I could avoid it, even though I could. Years ago, I'd been ridiculed for my deaf accent. An alpha who talks like a baby, can't be an alpha. I shook the thought away, placing Sammy down on the bed so I could sign when Lilian finally looked at me.
"Please watch your brother, I'm going out. Make sure he doesn't get hurt or eat the mold in the corner. I'll be back to check on you, there's food in the fridge. If there's an emergency, ask the lady at the motel reception to use a phone and call me, okay?"
She nodded slowly, her face less than impressed, before she closed her eyes, letting me know she was done with me. I rubbed away the ache in my chest, picking up Sammy from my bed and placing him down beside her. Then I kissed them both on their foreheads and left.
Closing the door was like locking away a huge secret - a secret that was both cripplingly burdening, yet everything I lived for. It felt agonising, yet shamefully, I felt emotionally relieved when I stepped away from them for a while.
The early morning sun was up when I emerged outside and I began walking, basking in the cool air as I headed for the streets that lead into the heart of the town. I felt optimistic, despite everything. Maybe it was Mika making me feel that way, I didn't know. But having something greater to live for, and finding purpose, like being another wolf's mate, had a spring in my step. Today was going to be a great day.
Even greater when the feeling of my phone vibrating in my back pocket alerted me to a message.
Mika: Morning, Ren. Good news, Papa and Daddy said I could see you again. They said you could come here, to our pack house but I would prefer to meet you somewhere else. It would be great if we could meet up and go somewhere today if you like.
My heartbeat accelerated and a rush of serotonin exploded inside my head at the sight of Mika's message. Talking to him yesterday had been amazing. I'd felt like we'd connected through learning more about one another and realising that he could sign had been a relief - like a boulder lifted off my chest. For once, the moon goddess had heard my prayers for acceptance and normalcy with another person when it came to my deaf culture.
I read the message again and well... the happiness remained but a small inclining of doubt planted its way into my mind, sprouting little leaves. 'They said you could come here but I would prefer to meet you somewhere else'. Did that mean he wasn't comfortable introducing me to his family or his home? Was there something about me he wanted to keep away? Perhaps I was reading too much into it.
"His family are protective, we already established that. If I were him, I'd want to get away. They'd be all over us and we wouldn't have any privacy. Heck our father was-"
I cut Kenzo off right there. We hadn't even met Mika's parents yet so comparing them to our father was disrespectful and they didn't deserve to be held up to a cruel man's standards. Parents were protective, all parents except for my own, but for other pack families, I supposed this was normal.
"Just tell him yes already! It's been too long, we need to see him again! Right now! I demand it!" Kenzo barked impatiently, but I could tell he was excited. Wolves could never much hide their emotions as they were translated through each and every movement of their bodies.
"We made a deal yesterday. We search for jobs, Kenzo. We can't meet him right now, but I can tell him later?" My mind instantly returned to the motel room and the pups I'd left there. I felt guilty instantly because meeting up with Mika would mean leaving them alone longer than I'd intended. This really wasn't fair... but I just couldn't say no to Mika.
Me: Morning, love. I knew I could count on you to work your magic, I'm proud. Unfortunately, I can't see you during the day, I have some responsibilities that need my attention. But if you fancy an evening date, then meet me by the ice-cream parlour and we can go from there?
The ice-cream parlour was common ground and I was sure we could find something to do in the area. I couldn't bring him back to the motel - that was the last place I ever wanted my mate to see since it was the embodiment of the pieces of my life I was trying desperately to stop from falling apart.
Mika: That sounds great, Ren. I can't wait x
Me: Me neither. Have a great day Mika, see you later x
"He's going to figure out something is wrong. We smell like shit, we haven't got any money to treat him and what are we going to do?! Walk around until our legs drop off?! Mika needs a little more TLC wouldn't you agree?!" Kenzo's voice was flat and I internally growled, clenching my fists. He really wasn't helping at all.
I patted my back pockets for change and pulled out a few crumpled notes. Grocery shopping money. My mind whirred as I made some quick calculations. I could take Mika to the park, treat him to the hot dog stand and then I'd cut back on groceries for the week. The pups would have enough and I could deal with a little bit of hunger for a few days.
"The book and the ice-cream we stupidly promised Lilian?" Kenzo sighed and my heart dropped into my stomach. Fuck, I couldn't let her down again. I desperately shuffled the money about but it was useless. There wasn't enough to cover everything. Kenzo, feeling like an asshole for adding that little extra jab, began to aggressively reassure me.
"We're gonna find a job. Problem sorted. How hard can it be?!"
Right... how hard can it be...?
-▪︎¤■¤▪︎-
Comments (0)
See all