The walls were swaying back and forth, I wasn’t sure if it was me or I’d been magically transported onto a ship halfway through the party and was now on a boat out at the sea in the middle of a raging storm. I let the dancing walls guide me into a long corridor, why was it so long my god how big could this boat be, fumbling to find somewhere to lay down. The tips of my fingers suddenly felt a thin soft fabric, I let them grab a hold of it, finding comfort in the texture. A booming and unfamiliar voice erupted from the, textile-textured-soft thing. At first I didn’t catch it, but then they spoke again.

- You ok there little omega?

- Ughhhhh? Where the hell am I little, alpha?

- Mhm, I don’t know but I’d love to find out.

- Well, I don’t really feel like finding out about your small dick sooo. I’mma good.

- That’s not- uh I’m actually like 8-

- Shhhhhh. Annoying. Annoying Alpha. Shhhhh.

I tried to place my finger, somewhere close to wherever his words were coming from, whether that was his mouth or ass, but probably got in his eye as I heard a slight growl as I felt my finger poke something slimy and moving. 

- Oh god that was your eye, sorryyyy. I didn’t mean to hurt you-

- Baby it’s fine-

- Baby? Who’s a baby? You calling me a baby?

- You don’t like it?

- Wha- well usually I do, but you’re not him-

- Hey. You ok Simon?

I instantly felt my body warm from him mentioning my name, his voice soothing my stumbling omega. I looked back towards the general direction of where he must be standing, feeling a blinding smile growing on my lips. 

- Caspar! Perfect! I wanna lay down below deck and sleep, you wanna get me there?

I felt his hand coming around my waist as he steadied me against him, I simply melted into his body, strong and steady as I let myself sniff his neck. His smell always calmed me, and this time was no exception. I could hear something reminiscent of a small conversation being exchanged between the annoying alpha and Caspar, before we began moving down the corridor, further away from the party. 

- I wanna sleep below deck-

- Below deck? Simon we’re not on a ship-

- Shut it mayteee or you’ll walk the plank and get fed to the sharks.

- You’re a fucking idiot. A drunk one at that.

- Argghhh that is no way to address your captain arrrgh.

I heard him shuckle as he gently led me through a door into a smaller room with a sofa, Tv and some bookshelves. I was gently guided towards the sofa, feeling Caspar guide me to sit down in it. I whined as I felt him try to get me off of him, not wanting him to let go yet I decided to burrow my face harder against his neck, letting my eyes close as I smelled his scent. He’d always had the same scent ever since we were kids, like summer rain and lavender, by far the best smell I knew. I felt him stand, completely still as I simply held onto him. He finally broke the silence.

- Simon, you need to let me go.

- Mnnno. Don’t wanna.

- Simon.

He growled my name. I felt my eyes widen as I suddenly sobered up a bit, or at least enough to look up and meet his gaze, his eyes were bright yellow, the color of his beta. I couldn’t stop staring at them, feeling transfixed. My cheeks were burning from the intense gaze he held, I didn’t realize we were so close until he opened his mouth to speak, as I could feel him take a deep breath.

- I’m gonna go. You stay here and don’t fucking move.

I had forgotten how to breath by this point feeling a bit light-headed from our proximity, which I didn’t want to make bigger. My omega was keening, begging for me to keep being close to him, to my beta, my wolf. I tried to shove the last thought down deep into my inner mind where I’d tried to keep it for the past decade, but as if all the walls I’d built suddenly were made of sand rather than stone, it all came crashing down into nothing as he spoke once more.

- I can’t be this close to you.

I didn’t realize my body was doing something until I felt my own lips against his, but the moment I realized, it was like a dam had been broken and now nothing was stopping this. I let my arms wrap around him, hugging him as close to me as possible, begging him not to let go of me. I felt like crying the second I realized he wasn’t kissing me back, but just as I had that thought, I felt his lips mold against my own, his hands taking a hold of the back of my neck forcefully. It felt like we were tugging at each other, almost angrily, pulling and biting like we were fighting each other with our lips and hands. I let go momentarily, needing to breath by letting my head rest against his forehead, panting before quickly letting my hands unbutton his shirt. I looked up, as Caspar was being rather quiet, except for his breathing which was quick and shallow. I met his gaze, which was dark and heavy. I had never seen him like this, so powerful and alluring. My omega was whining happily at his dominant nature, as he simply just watched me undress him, his hands caressing my chest and waist. The moment the shirt parted to reveal his toned stomach, I couldn’t help but let out a whimper, I let my fingers travel from his chest, downwards, teasing the sensitive skin right above the edge of his pants. I felt his hand take a hold of my chin, making me look up and meet his gaze. He held me there, suspended in time for a moment or two, whispering how beautiful I was, before letting our lips meet once again, this time soft and slow. I could feel so much emotion and feelings from his every touch, it was overwhelming me by the second. I felt like I was drowning, further and further I was being held down underneath the water, his hands, lips and warmt the only thing making me feel like I was still conscious.

- I’ve wanted this for so long.

- I-

- I want everything with you.

- Wha-

His lips were warm, his hands reassuring, warmth enveloping me in security and comfort, yet why did I feel like I was drowning? Everything was swimming in darkness and before I knew it, I felt the first tears spill over. I was filled to the brim from tears erupting and flowing down my eyes and I didn’t fully understand just why? This was perfect, this was everything I’d ever wanted, so why did this hurt so much? Like I had been slapped by reality, I ripped myself away from him, the distance earlier had felt like miles but where now like oceans apart, I watched in horror as his eyes met mine, I watched his confusion, turn into despair and then finally, hurt. I hurt him.

- Simon? What's- what's wrong?

- I-I-I shouldn't. We shouldn't.

The looming reality of the situation had finally hit my drunk and muddled mind. I had done something so horrible, so unforgiving. I gasped for air, I felt my body shut down as I stopped breathing, my lungs were burning and more tears were overflowing. I felt Caspar take a few steps towards me but I quickly growled at him.

- Don’t touch me! I’m so sorry, this wasn’t meant to happen. I’m sorry.

- Simon.

- This. This was a mistake. Please. Leave.

I didn’t need to see him to know what I had just done. I could practically hear the shattered pieces of his heart spilling onto the floor beneath our feet. 

I ruined everything. 

Why do I always have to be such a disappointment? 

Before I could take another breath, I heard the door burst open and quickly slam shut as Caspar had left me alone, alone with my flowing tears, crumbled walls and the remnants of his broken heart spilled all across the dark wooden floor.