Transcript 018 - June 21, 2000 - 00:25

Caller: 911?

Operator: Yes?

Caller: Do you know what day it is?

Operator: Mister, that is an inappropriate use for this line and no I do not.

Caller: Yeesh, chill out. I'm just asking cuz the news is supposed to be on right now, but all I've got is some stupid sci-fi with fairies and dragons. 

Caller 2: You! How dare you insult my title and good name! 

Caller: Wha-AH!

Operator: Hello? What's going on?

Caller 2: My, this is turning out quite an eventful night for you, isn't it? Oh, you will be pleased to hear the boy Austin has done well in his first trial and moved on to the second. 

Operator: Wait, you're -!

Caller 2: Silence! I will not be interrupted! You will not address me until I have finished speaking, have I made myself clear? Answer!

Operator: Yes Ma'am. Sorry! I'm just tired. I'm glad to hear Austin's okay.

Caller 2: Your constant missteps wear thin my patience. I will not be lenient a third time. 

Operator: I'm really sorry. I honestly don't know what to do here.

Caller 2: I wouldn't be surprised if no one taught you proper behavior. You don't strike me as the type with breeding. Well, that can be partially remedied. Do you see the book that has appeared on the table in front of you?

Operator: ...yes?

Caller 2: Good! A manual of manners is just what you need! Learn it well, or I may have to come myself and replace your eyes with glass marbles! … See, you learn quickly, you may speak now.

Operator: I'm almost scared to ask, but what do glass marbles have to do with etiquette?

Caller 2: Why to make you see all the clearer! Honestly, no education whatsoever. Well, I will be hearing from you again then. Goodnight. *click*