*cracks knuckles*

*clears throat*

*warms up voice*

*sips coffee, takes deep breath*

Seriously, [lowercase]. just get on with your frivolous [banter]. Your precious indulgence in [actors], which ruins the [Action] I set up in the last chapter.

stop throwing around those terms. they’re dumb. i don’t put '''[Allegory]''' in my moments. i do '''[seinfeld]''', motherfucker.

Just get the chapter over with.

—==—

—==—

Jax and Leo are chilling on the couch in the room we left them in, watchin’ tv. it’s a show called Brekken, about a bunch of birds crying about feelings and stuff. it’s supposedly a younger kids’ show, despite the fact that in the episode we’re watching, the owl Myrna has just finished murdering 3 of Brekken’s friends.

the juicy show is interrupted when a door bursts open and four kids rush into the room. Leo cries out and Jax jumps. one of the newcomers regards them with a look of disappointment.

???4you ain’t Ben and Callie.

Leo: who?

???1: who are you guys?

Jax: i’m, umm… Jax. she.

Leo: my name is Leo. a boy… um, who are you?

???1: oh! sure. i’m Jen, he/him, and these are:

???4: Vera. they/them.

???3: Luke, he/him.

???2: Ellis. him.

Luke: we came here looking for two of our friends. they went missing almost a week ago. have you seen anyone?

Jax: ummm… no.

Luke: is this house A or house B?

Leo: what?

Ellis: hol’ up a sec. you guys… do you guys know where you are?

Jax: no, no i don’t know. i’m confused. i came here out of a cell, and i fought a guy, and… i don’t know. it doesn’t make sense.

Ellis: i get it. we came outta cells too.

Ellis: an Old Guy gave us some vague as fuck hints about quests and shit, then he went poof.

Ellis: we escaped the cells and kinda just ran into each other. there were 6 of us.

Ellis: that Old Man appeared again to tell us what was goin’ on, kinda.

Ellis: so you got 3 houses. A, B, C.

This was explained in the last chapter.

hush, you.

Ellis: house C is safe, house A is kinda safe, and house B is basically a noose. the 6 of us met in A, but we started out in all 3 of them at first.

Ellis: there’s a buncha doors and shit that go between the houses, so you gotta be careful not to end up in B.

Jax: why did you not go to house C, for safety?

Ellis: we tried, but i don’t think you CAN get there? you just sorta get kicked outta that one.

Jax: oh, ok.

Leo: what house are we in?

Luke: i believe this is house A. we haven’t been killed or kicked out yet, so i’d deduce that we’re still in A.

Luke: the problem is, we think our friends are in house B. they disappeared from this house, and they can’t really go to house C, so they must be there, or else in some house the Old Man neglected to tell us about.

Luke: hence the urgency.

Jax: oh…. oh no. how’d they go there?

Luke: that’s the other thing. we don’t know how they got there.

Vera: tha Old Coot hinted that there wazza ‘nother person here. tryna kill us. we gotta find ah friends and get tha fuck outta here.

Leo: can’t they just go through a door back here?

Luke: you’d think so, but it seems that they cannot. we’ve been here for a few weeks, and we’ve explored enough to find all the routes from house to house.

Leo: what if you get trapped too?

Luke: then we’re screwed. i’d prefer to be screwed with my friends i’ve tried to save than be relatively safe without them.

Leo: that’s fair. so—

there’s a weird popping sound, and a new door appears on the wall. it opens to reveal two more kids. they stare at the crowd of others confusedly.

Criss: uh…

Malcom: this just gets weirder and weirder.

Jen: hello.

Jen: who are you?

Criss: oh, uh, i’m Criss. he/him.

Malcom: Malcom. he/him. what’s going on in here?

Vera: we—

Vera motions to their other three friends.

Vera: —we came outta cells like ya guys, but we’ve been here fo’ WAY longah than you. our friends dissapeared, and we went lookin’ fo’ them and ran into THESE two—

they gesture towards Jax and Leo.

Vera: —who have been here just as long as you… ya just got outta tha cell, right?

Criss: yeah…

Vera: k. so yeah. that’s what’s goin’ on.

Criss: a’ight, then. cool. my confusion just dropped its diet and gained a hundred pounds.

Luke: join the club.

Criss: so… uh, you got any idea where we are? and what we’re doin’ here?

Luke: we have an idea. was there a letter on the rug in the room just outside your cell?

Criss: yeah. a C.

Luke nods.

Luke: that makes sense. so there are 3 houses.

[lowercase]. Seriously. This is absurd.

Luke: you just came out of house C. we are currently in house A. the four of us came here looking for our friends who are trapped in house B. house B is extremely dangerous, and our friends are likely in peril.

Malcom: what are their names?

Luke: Ben and Callie. boy and girl. they’ve been missing for about a week.

Malcom: so there were 6 of you at first?

Luke nods. 

Luke: correct. i’ve met four of you, so i think it’s safe to presume that there are two more, who are also probably in house B.

Luke: i believe you asked what we’re doing here? that remains to be seen, but we have a few clues.

Luke: we’ve been hinted by an Old Man that there is someone in the houses trying to kill us. i would assume that apprehending the killers and then escaping is our current goal.

Now would be a good time to stop.

Malcom: okay. things seem a little more clear now. one more question. what is the point of all this?

Ellis: that’s a damn good question. i think the Old Guy has a dumbass '''quest''' for us to do. that’s what we’re doin’ here, i guess.

Leo: i don’t really want to do a quest.

Ellis: me neither, dawg. this is all bullshit, in my opinion.

Criss: i kinda just wanna eat. Malcom and i came here lookin’ for food.

Malcom: yeah. i assume you have no idea where to find any?

Jen: i think we found a pantry earlier, and i think this room is a dead end. we can probably go there.

Criss: oh, a’ight. can show us there?

Jen: sure.

eight kids leave the room to find a pantry.