It was drizzling when a woman put a cup of coffee to her rosy lips. She felt warmth in the cold weather, sheltered from the droplets of water she saw outside the window. She found the sound of the rain comforting, if she’s not in the middle of it. The coffee was bitter, but she always liked bitter, unlike that man. 

She remembered when she met him, it was pouring hard. From afar she could see how the raindrops made the silhouette of the man, who did not use anything to protect himself from the water. She approached him, using an umbrella, always sheltered. An umbrella that he gave to her, and shared with her until a week before their last encounter. 

Warm and sweet, that’s how she would describe him. But even so, they couldn’t evade the storm that came. He was strong, he let the rain wash away his sorrow, even when he had to go through the discomfort. She was a coward, she couldn’t face it like him, who stood right there, undefeated by the raging wind. 

That’s why she was bitter. Bitter to no end, always running to a warm place back at the cafe. Letting go of the hands that hug hers warm. Looking away from the gaze that reminded her of the sun. 

“Is this what's best for us?” he asked with his unusually uncertain voice. His voice always brimmed with confidence and positivity. Hearing him like this, made her feel like she stepped into something intimate. 

“I’m not ready, and from what I see, this will hurt us both,” 

From her insecurities blanketed by a mask of indifference. From him having too much room in his heart, that will only heighten her complicated feelings. In this fog of a relationship she knew that she cares for him a lot. 

So before she hurts him, she has to let go and let the rain wash her away for once. Maybe when she gained the courage to do so, she could stand with people like him. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked and she chuckled instantly. There was no way it’s his fault. She hoped that he wouldn’t see her face clearly, because it twisted into something very bitter. He doesn’t deserve bitterness. For the first time she’s thankful for the pouring rain. 

“No. It was never your problem, I can truly promise you that with my life,” 

She stepped closer to the man, reaching her hands out to give him the umbrella back. When the man didn’t show the sign of taking it, she shoved it at him and stepped away. She whispered something, letting the universe decide whether it will reach him or not. 

“Whether as a friend or lover, or even a stranger. I wish to meet you again when my eyes become as clear as the blue sky. When my heart is as calm as a still water. Until then, I wish you find your happiness,” 

The rain stopped when she saw outside the cafe she was in. Seeing the sun come back, she thought that maybe, next time, she should try to drink hot chocolate in the rain instead.