PROLOGUE

It had been two days since General Dog’s death, Muppet was celebrating (still) Mike was recovering from the baseball bat, everyone was happy.

In the dump, a dog paw reached from the wreckage. It had been commanded by HIM to kill his killer.

Muppet was in grave danger.

Mike is unable to help.

Mac is still dead.

Dwog is alive.

Muppet was in the shop, purchasing some goods, a box of chocolates, a card, and some tuna. Muppet then proceeded to go into the alleyway behind the shop to meet the shopkeeper and his stash of catnip

“I’ll take a bag,” Muppet said

“50 quid,” said the shopkeeper in his gruff voice

“Last time it was 45 quid!”

“The new government head doesn’t like me sellin’ this stuff, they don’ want you gettin’ drunk on this stuff. It’s now harder to get.”

“Fine.”

“Have a nice day! And remember-”

“You were never here, got it,” Muppet said in a bored voice

As Muppet walked out of the alleyway, a figure crept up behind him,

“If you want to increase your price I have the money” Muppet said to the figure. The figure lunged at Muppet, Muppet simply dodged. Muppet continued on his commute to SMHQ. whispering, “I hate this prohibition”

BOOK 1

MIKE AND THE FEVER DREAM

Mike awoke in a hospital bed, his memory fully restored (if you haven’t read the first book READ IT NOW!). Besides mike’s bed, there was a box of chocolates with a note from Muppet, To my dearest friend, would you like to COME OUT OF YOUR COMA! Your friend, Muppet. Mike was thinking if Muppet was a psychopath, Mike dismissed this thought, as Muppet probably just had anger issues, Muppet’s Mum also had anger issues (she was also very fat, it took Muppet about thirty minutes to print a photo of out). Mike slid out of bed, ate the chocolates, threw up, and went back to sleep in that order.

Mike woke up to the sound of calm music…

LIFT MUSIC…

Mike looked about, he was in a lift, he looked down, he was a human! Someone screamed, “Power down on the eastern wing!”

Mike screamed, “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE, seriously, I know what-” and with that, the lift stopped, a ding happened, and the doors opened, a cat? On hindlegs? The cat pulled out his fist and hit Mike as hard as he could. The cat meowed, it was stressed, the lift ground to a halt, and the lab exploded, the explosion turned into a cat, trying to eat Mike, a horrifying laugh came from it as mike tried to get away from it.

“TOO BAD. HA HA HA HA!” it said in a demonic voice,

Mike watched as the world beneath him crumbled away, Mike was falling.

“HELP!” Mike screamed, alas, it was no use.

Mike saw Muppet, saying, “You failed, you didn’t save everyone, I did!” the apparition started laughing in a very scary manner.

Mike responded with the truth, “Yeah, you did. And do you know what? I'm happy for you, without you Muppet, Catville would be toast!”

The apparition transformed from Muppet into someone else, Mike didn’t know who she was but he knew that he’d seen her before.

“Muppet is in grave danger,” She said

“Muppet’s what?!” remarked Mike, shocked by what the apparition had said.

“Muppet is in a graver danger than all of catville-”

“WAIT! CATVILLE IS IN DANGER?!!” Mike exclaimed

“Don’t Interrupt”

“Sorry” Mike apologised

“Catville is not in danger, not yet; Muppet is in a grave danger beyond the understanding of you or I. MIKE! EVERY CAT IN THE ENTIRE MEOWTIVERSE LOOKS TO YOU TO SAVE THEM!”

“Who should I save first?”

“HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO MY MONOLOGUE!!!”

“Wait but only villains do a-”

“NOT ONLY VILLAINS!!”

“Sorry.”

“Anyways, Start with Muppet, then you shall save everyone”

“No problemo! Also, who did you say you were again?”

“Just tell Muppet that you were sent to save him by his guardian angel”

Mike’s head exploded (Imploded maybe?), he didn’t know what just happened.

BOOK 2

Muppet’s Condition

“Class, can anyone tell me what the bear did next?” said Ms Dayflower, “Yes, Muppet?”

A young Muppet answered the question, “The Bear made me angwy so I wipped him to shweds”

“Anyone else?” Asked the teacher. No one put their hand up, so the teacher picked someone
“Fluffy?”

“The bear got the Midwas touch”

“I quit”

“Pardon?” asked most of the class

“I QUIT!” shouted the teacher

“You mean ‘I Qwit’ Miss!” Piped up Muppet

“AAAAAARGGH!” The teacher screamed, she ran out of the room screaming “I QUUUUIIIITT!”

The Class was silent

Muppet was the first to talk, as usual

“NO TEACHER PARTY!”

As the class partied, Muppet talked to his friend, Fluffy, about the Teachers’ records.

“Five days and ten minutes, she was a tough one to cwack”

“Yeah, though I thought that Mr Gollybiship would be the same, but he cwacked after five seconds!” said Fluffy

“We need to work on our Rs!” Muppet commented

“Fine, I’ll tell the class to be good for the next teacher for us to learn our Rs” and with that Fluffy shouted to the class “EVERYONE! WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR RS! SO WE SHOULD BE GOOD FOR THE NEXT TEACHER!”

“OKAAY!” Chimed the class

10 Cat years later, Muppet was working with Fluffy, Now Dr Fluffball, on their latest machine: The AMIDS Machine, a machine that has the power to transform the basic touch of a cat. Dr F said to Muppet “We’ve run out of test subjects”

Yet again our reality splits, Muppet being the test subject, or Dr F being the test subject. The one we follow is Dr F being the test subject, so enjoy this reality.

Dr F stepped into the chamber.

“ACTIVATING THE MACHINE!” shouted Muppet. Dr F prepared for the immense pain that followed, Dr F screamed in pain, his arms were in excruciating pain, was this the true power of the AMIDS Machine? Was the experiment going to be a success? Was Dr F’s Childhood dream becoming a reality?

Five minutes later, when the massive machine powered down, Dr F stepped out of the AMIDS Machine, he felt renewed, alive…

golden.

BOOK 3

THE TRAIL OF GOLD

“Muppet! Muppet! MUPPET!! You’re in grave danger! Your guardian angel sent me! Listen to me pleeease!” Mike was shouting for Muppet, running around SMHQ.

Mike eventually ran into Muppet, Muppet fell to the floor, “What in the name of the almighty tuna are you doing that for?!” said Muppet

“Woahh! Cool it on the obscenities!” Mike complained

“Woahh! I’m not saying any obscenities! Ooh, shiny!” Muppet lunged at a spoon and gnawed and played with it.

“MUPPET! NO CATNIP!” Mike shouted

“Grr! I hate you! I love you! No, I hate you! No, I Love You!”

“Muppet!” 

“Whaat?!” Muppet said in a drunk voice, “I dunno iffyouu wannmeto tellyou wahswrongg!?”

“You need sleep!” Mike Commanded

“NO! I doonot need sleep!!” and with that, Muppet collapsed into a sleep on the floor.

/////////////////////////////////////\////////

The Next day, Muppet woke up with a headache,

“Ooooh, my head!” Muppet groaned, “Ohh that’s what happened! AAAARRGGHH!” Muppet screamed, realising he was hungover.

“And that’s why they banned it!” Mike said from the nearby corridor

“AAAH! A SOMETHING! HOME-ALEXA! ACTIVATE SECURITY PROTOCOL B-93!” Muppet Commanded, and with that, THE-HUGE-METAL-SAFETY-DOOR-MK8300 came crashing down to separate Mike and Muppet

“POWER AT 3%, IT IS RECOMMENDED TO RECHARGE THE DOOR, WARNING: RECHARGING THE DOOR REQUIRES THE DOOR TO BE OFFLINE”

“Oh noooo!” Muppet panicked

A figure cloaked in the shadows made his way through the market looking at the vastly different products sold by the locals before laying eyes on one stand, there lay a strange rock, seeming to glow, calling him there

“I’ll take that,” said the figure

“Ten gold pieces,” said the hillbilly, The figure picked up some pebbles from the ground, changing them into gold instantly

“Here,” said the figure, dropping the gold onto the counter

“I’M RICH!!” screamed the hillbilly, and with that, he packed up shop and threw the rock at the figure, who caught it.

“Now this is something I need” muttered the figure as he walked away from the screaming hillbilly. The Figure pulled out a Water Pistol and shot a harmless cat just minding their business

“OOOWW!” Shouted the Victim

“You…” spoke the figure

“I KNOW YOU…”

BOOK 4

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DWOG PART 1

Mike meandered around the city, listening to the sounds: The Chitchat, The “Get Your Fish and Crunchies!”, and the outcries, the wailing, the ambulance. Something wasn’t right. Mike followed the screams, gripping his water pistol to scare off criminals, just in case.

There, standing with an expression of fear etched onto their face, was a gold statue of a cat, probably the one who had screamed.

“But how could a statue scream?” Mike said to himself.

“It’s because it’s not a statue, it’s Felinie Saerfinni, you know? The famed criminal who has committed EVERY crime possible, new laws were made because of her” said a passerby as something grabbed Mike from behind and started to attack him, Mike hit back and saw who it was…

…It was Dwog

Mike hit Dwog more, Dwog ripped a clump of fur from Mike, the battle was gruesome, fur flew, one or two teeth fell from mouths, sweat coated the floor, hissing and growling plagued the air, people chanting “Fight, Fight, Fight!”

That was when Mike got hit…

…He fell…

…His eyes closed…

…they opened.

He awoke to a beeping noise, Mike was in a hospital, again!

“Nooo!!” Mike groaned

“He’s awake!” said a Doctor

“OH MY GOSH!” shouted Muppet, who ran in immediately

“Whaa?? Where’s Dwog?!” Mike fretted

“He’s dead”

“What happened?”

“There was a fight”
“Yeah! With Dwog”

“No, it was an unknown assailant”

“But it was! Your guardian angel to-”

“My Guardian Angel?”

“Yeah!! But she never told me who she was”

“Hold up! She? I think I know who she is!”

“Who is she then?”

“I’m not telling you yet!”

“Why??”

“For the reader’s sake”

“Eh, good point, but what’s happening now?”

“We are going to have a small battle with General Dwog, then we’re going to get some lunch, and then I’ll discuss the guardian angel with you, Mike.”

“Wait, then where’s general-” and with that, the wall succumbed to the strength of Dwog

“You… Killed… me!” Groaned Dwog

“Yeah, but you killed thousands of our kin!” Muppet spoke with might

“So… You… Shall… DIE!”

“So where am I in this?” Mike questioned

“You are NOT!” shouted Muppet

“But I thought I was-”

“NO!”

“B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but Mupp-”

“GET OUT OF HERE!” and with that, Mike ran out of the room, only to hear crashing, banging, and screaming…

MUPPET SCREAMING…

BOOK 5

THE KINGPIN (PART 2)

Mike ran back into the room, there was Muppet, lying on the floor, blood trailing from his mouth, Dwog beating him up. The sun of Muppet’s life was setting, fading…

…Dying

Mike felt something, starting in his gut, heating up, bubbling up, it spread to his chest, then to his head, then to his… feet? Mike looked down, he wasn’t touching the floor! He was floating! He then flew towards Dwog and Mike hit Dwog with his own fist, “Why are you hitting yourself?” Mike chanted all of the while

“Help- ACK! HAK! -me!” Muppet groaned

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I forgot to save you!” Mike Apologised

“It’s ok! ACK!” Muppet coughed, Mike then rushed Muppet to the nearest hospital, which was in the Mexican district of Catville.

“Hola señor, ¿cómo podemos ayudarle?” said the clerk

“Uhh… He matado a este gato, por favor cúralo.”

“¡Ay mi atún! usted señor, MATÓ a ese gato!!??”

“No digo buen español”

“Se lo enviaremos al gestor de traducción.”

“muchas gracias cabeza mocosa” at that moment the translation manager walked in

“You just said ‘Thank you very much snotty head’. Georgio! No sabía que te estaba ofendiendo.”

“Lo sé, son de otro distrito, ¿cuál?”

“He just asked which district you are from.”

“It doesn’t matter now! Rush this cat to the hospital!”

“¡No importa ahora! ¡Lleva a este gato al hospital!” The Translation Manager reapeted

“Si!”

Muppet was rushed to the hospital as Mike flew back to deal with Dwog, who was laying there, dead.

“And don’t come back!” Mike said to the rotting corpse.

Mike heard footsteps coming from behind him as he watched the corpse of Dwog rot

“This is technically a crime scene, I don’t think you are a certified individual,” Mike said to the person behind him. Mike turned around to face the individual, a ginger tabby, holding a device made from gold.

“What’s that?!” Mike asked the trespasser

“It’s my latest invention, it needs something from Dwog’s body,” said the trespasser

“He may have been evil, but that does NOT give anyone the right to steal his stuff”

“Don’t get in my way!”

“And vice-versa”

“I know Muppet.”

“Tell me, what was the name of the teacher he drove out before he learnt his ‘R’s?”

“Miss Dayflower, I caught up with her recently. She’s doing well.”

“Ok, but I’m still not letting you touch this body!” Mike said, then the trespasser rushed over and slapped Mike with his bare hand

“WHAT!? It usually works!” exclaimed the trespasser

“What usually works?!” Mike was getting mad now

“You know King Midas, greek myth?”

“Yeah”

“Muppet and I worked on a project to make the Midas Touch a thing, I’m the first successful test subject. Muppet left me to rot after the AMIDS machine worked! I’m inventing this to-”

“Right, I’ve heard enough!” Mike hit the trespasser with his fist, the trespasser used a gun

“Don’t do this Mike!”

“What? Wha? How? HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?”

“I remember Muppet’s friend giving Muppet and me the news that you had been born with special… abilities”

“Like what? Anger issues?!”

“No! Special abilities!”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know! She never told us!”

“Is she Muppet’s guardian angel? I’m just wondering?”

“No, she’s a different friend”

“Okay, but tell me who my mother is”

“Sure! Her name is-”

“Fluffball! Buddy!” Said a voice from behind the rubble, it was Muppet

“Muppet! I haven't seen you in years!” Rejoiced Fluffball

“This ending is getting quite cheesy,” Mike said impatiently

“Oh, Yeah! My guardian angel is Lottie!” said Muppet

“Wait, Great Aunt Lottie?!” Mike was shocked

“Yeah, Great Aunt Lottie.” Muppet replied

“What were you working on then?” Mike asked Fluffball

“Just a simple portal device designed to-”

“I know what a portal device does,”

“This one also makes omelettes,”

“Give me one now!” Mike asked

“Maybe, but- OH!” Fluffball dropped the device and it cracked open into a portal…

Mike, Muppet and Dr Fluffball was sucked into the portal…

Epilogue

“私は覚えている限り彼を追い詰めてきました。彼は私の運命にあります。彼は猫の刃を持っています。私は彼を倒して刃を手に入れなければなりません。私の宇宙を救うために、父よ、あなたが今私を聞くことができれば、私がどこから来たのか見てください!” それから奇妙な猫がポータルから落ちました。

“Who are you?”

“私は、ダークサムライダグが使用する犬の刃の守護者、マイクです.”

“I’m Mike! Have you seen my friends anywhere?”

TO BE CONTINUED…