Sometimes you’re drowning. Other times you’re just sitting there, waiting at a train station. Wait, no…those are different. Drowning is more of being weightless, where you can’t feel gravity, and instead, you relax. It’s a scary feeling, but it feels nice. It’s like death, except there are no voices or eyes. Death is the one that feels like drowning, or maybe that’s because if you drown for too long, you die.

Have you ever had hypothermia? You're in pain because of how cold you are. When you close your eyes, you get this nice, warm feeling. It's so soothing before you even realize you're dead. I feel bad for people who have died from it. They might have never even had a chance to live yet.

Depending on how you die, it can be quick and painless or long and painful. I've experienced it both ways. Depending on where you get shot, it'll all end quickly. That wasn't the case for me. Then, I got shot in the head quickly and painlessly. Being poisoned isn't fun either, it makes you sick, and you feel awful as you spend your last moments lying on the ground.

Oh, the afterlife? It's not what I thought it would be. I believed God and Satan would judge me. I'd be sent to hell, but instead, I got placed into limbo. My limbo was a train station. I guess where I am depends on my emotions. Sometimes it's a forest or a cliffside, but it's mainly that train station. I've realized I can't die or get injured when I'm in limbo. You get bored after a day or two, but at least I can eat and drink there. That's probably what kept me sane.

The train is like an old friend waiting for you to come back again. When you stay at a train station, it's more of a willingness to get on the train. The patience and the motivation to keep living and not jump in front of it...Trains are always fun to ride, especially when they're empty. You can sing, and no one can tell you to stop.

When the train gets here, it'll be empty. I'll be the only passenger until I get off, and then the train will keep going. Travelling from Jubilee Line to Hawkes Harbor. Chicago to Boston. London to Berlin. Moscow to Sydney. It'll travel all over the place but won't pick up any passengers. It'll travel until it decides to pull up to the station I'll be waiting at.

How long before it'll pull up? How am I supposed to know? I don't know when it will pull up to the station. The train comes when it wants to. It could be years, months, or days. The train comes when it decides it's time. I can't stand it anymore. I have to get out. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.