“Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m having to do this. Seriously? Can’t you ever just study? Why did you have to fail the one time Mom can’t drive you to tutoring? Oh my god, I should be in Lexington right now. What the—What the fuck? Are you crying right now? Are you serious?”
Arius lifted his feet onto the far-left seat in the back bench of Gabriel’s car and curled into the corner of the vehicle as far from the driver as his seatbelt would allow. Hoodie sleeves shifted across his knees, and his tear-streaked face disappeared behind them.
Gabriel let out a disgusted sigh and dropped his hand from the steering wheel. Watching as the ice on his windshield gradually melted under the full blast of the defroster, he bit his lip. “Ari, come on.” His voice lowered. “What’s up with you lately? Are your meds fucking with your hormones or something?” He glanced into the back seat. “I’m serious. I know they switched you to some pretty strong stuff last month.”
Arius let out a shaky breath and did not raise his face. “It’s nothing.”
“Look, Ms. Ambridge is a sweet lady.” Gabriel tapped his knuckles against the steering wheel, eyes straying out through the windshield for a moment. “It’s really nice of her to volunteer to tutor you like this. At her house, no less. God knows the school building’s gonna be closed this weekend.” His eyes shifted across the heaped snow on either side of the driveway. Gabriel smiled faintly. “Guess she thinks you’re secretly smart or something.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Ari? Look, don’t stress about it. Just study next time.”
“I know. I will. I’m sorry.”
Gabriel woke to the hollow, echoing sounds of cars running over the bridge above his head. It was daybreak. Instantly, he turned onto his side, hand reaching out to secure the person sleeping beside him. But just as quickly as Gabriel was relieved to find Arius still there, a new wave of adrenaline hit him in the gut.
Arius had stretched out on the concrete some time in the night, head resting in his arms. His sleeping face was turned toward Gabriel, eyes shut and soft breaths visible in the small movements of his body. And in the growing light, having slipped Gabriel’s attention the night before, the cut on Arius’s lip was now boldly visible.
The palm of Gabriel’s hand settled on the cement beside his foster brother as he leaned over for a closer look. The teenager’s lower lip was cut, a little swollen, and badly bruised. Someone’s cupped hand wouldn’t have done damage like that.
“What the hell?” Gabriel breathed. He sat back, recoiling his arm. But a moment later, he reached out again. With a glance at Arius’s face, Gabriel carefully lifted back the hem of the oversized sweatshirt the boy was wearing.
The sleeping teenager did not stir as cool air seeped in against his toned midsection. Gabriel pulled the cloth back a little farther, then released it. He didn’t gasp. He didn’t even give a start. But his mind was left reeling so hard, he could not form a single coherent thought. There was bruising. Bruising along Arius’s waist, some reaching toward his hips.
For several moments, Gabriel sat frozen, eyes fixed on the dark, unnatural shades crawling across Arius’s skin. Waking up in the homeless shelter and reacting to the situation had been a single blind moment. He had not looked long enough or thought hard enough to judge how bad it had actually been.
“Arius. Arius.” Gabriel grasped the boy’s shoulder. No more than a light shake was necessary to wake him. Before Arius had even finished opening his eyes, he was slapping Gabriel’s hand away. A faint start on his lips, Arius half sat up. Then, squinting and frowning, he slowly finished pulling himself upright.
Gabriel was left staring at the mark on Arius’s lip until the boy raised his hand and deliberately covered it. “What the hell, Gabriel?” he mumbled.
“You let him put his mouth on you?” It hadn’t come out the way he meant it, Gabriel knew the second that sentence left his throat. And yet, he let silence close in after the question, as if helpless to correct himself.
“The hell?” Arius’s hand had moved to fully conceal his mouth. His eyes looked threatened as they peered up at the older boy.
Gabriel’s jaw locked for a moment. The anger he felt, the anger he couldn’t explain—the unbearable urge to simply let it out. “What, are you going to tell me he did that with his hand?” Half to his surprise, half to biting disappointment, Arius did not defend himself. Those perfect dark brows arched into a frown, but Gabriel could see right past the defensive expression to the hurt in that boy’s eyes. “Well, I hope for your sake that wasn’t your first kiss,” Gabriel pushed it even further.
“Oh, for my sake?" Arius tilted his head very slightly, those riveting brown eyes fired with that piercing weight only Arius could leverage.
There, Gabriel told himself. There, finally, was the fiery, defensive energy he knew so well. But something about the look in those beautiful brown eyes told Gabriel that he might have just unleashed a little more of that energy than he was familiar with.
“You know, I’m surprised you haven’t left me yet,” Arius spoke up, his back straightening.
A slight frown darted across Gabriel’s face. “What do you mean?”
“You could just leave.” Arius shrugged. “According to you and the cop, I’m the one they want to kill or lock up or whatever. So you can just walk away from it all. Go back home, if you’d like. Back to your pharmaceuticals degree-in-progress and all your perfect friends.” His words were light, emotionless.
“I would never do that to you,” Gabriel told him, voice equally devoid of emotion.
“Why? Because your pride couldn’t take a hit like that?” The bitterness in Arius’s voice was immeasurable. “You don’t know how to lose a fight, do you, Gabriel? You don’t even know how to fail.”
“Arius, that’s absurd.”
“Yeah, Gabriel, it’s fucking bullshit,” Arius unexpectedly confirmed. “Your whole world—Your perfect little bubble—is bullshit. This whole time, you don’t think I know exactly what you’ve been trying to say?” He smirked joylessly. “I should have been stronger. I should have been better. Woken up faster, reacted quicker, known ahead of time. I waste too much time being sick and pathetic. If only I were you, right? With your big muscles and your imposing height and your valedictorian high school accomplishments and your prestigious college scholarships and your hundreds of friends and your fucking blue eyes—I get it. Well, you know what, take a little damage to your fucking pride, because I am not going to help you save your ego this time.” He got to his feet, and before Gabriel could even react, he started down the concrete slope toward the street below.
“Arius, what the hell?” Gabriel sprang up, but his shoes froze to the ground as he watched Arius walk away without so much as a backward glance. “I never said that.” The four words were lost under the sounds of morning traffic.
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