"Mi casa," I said as we got out and crunched across the driveway. "Watch your step, I ran out of icemelt this afternoon, haven't had a chance to pull more from the sheds. So right now there's just a bit of kitty litter for traction on the porch steps."

"You got a cat?" she said with a raised eyebrow. We clasped hands and took the steps together.

"Fuck, I guess we did fall off with our zoom chats. Yeah. I was in need of a farmhouse cat, and an acquaintance out in Etna had to give one away. I've named him Stilgar."

"How very like you."

I fumbled with my key a moment, then the door quietly swung open.

"Hey Siri, turn on the downstairs lights! And speak of the devil. Hey there, Stil."

A ponderous orange tabby, Stilgar immediately set about inspecting my houseguest and rubbing his scent all over her, purring contentedly all the while.

"Well, aren't you just the fluffiest and the babiest! Can I hold him?"

"You can try, but odds are he'll just sq—okay. Wow. He really likes you."

The cat looked a bit disoriented, but not upset. Josefina slung him over her shoulder and scratched his butt, and he purred loudly for a few seconds before beginning to flail. She set him down, and he trotted off to resume his patrol.

"Can I get you something? Beer, wine, coffee? Hot cocoa maybe?" 

"Ooh. I'll take a hot cocoa. And maybe a shot of red wine in it, if you got one handy."

Soon we were ensconced on the living room couch, each of us having a bit of something extra in our cocoa. Cabernet for her, peppermint schnapps for me. Ah, how the pandemic had made lightweights of us all.

"So," she said, "you said you had big news that just had to be relayed in person. I'm sufficiently intrigued. Get on with it."

Not unaware of the sense of gravitas, I got up and deactivated the HomePod.

"Okay. You remember that big fire at the Cornell lab? The one folks used to speculate housed shadowy government projects? Well, suppose I told you that they miscalculated containment efficiency on a device built to simulate extreme high-energy events. And that the experiment exceeded the Planck limits, and accidentally tore a new asshole in our reality, leaving it open to extra-dimensional beings with tentacles, inconceivable abilities, unfathomable technology."

"Shit," said Josefina. "I know that face. You're serious."

I nodded.

"I had a run-in with one such creature. And not only did they crash the farmhouse, they said they were looking for me specifically. They wanted to fuck. And then afterwards, they left me with this... artifact, that can change me. Let me have whatever bits I want, albeit temporarily."

She raised her eyebrow again. "Sheldon Steinmetz. Either you have gone truly off the deep end and lost your wits, or you better show me what the hell it is you're talking about."

"I'll show you right now. Sorry if I'm spoiling the surprise." And with that, I unzipped my jeans, and from the folds of my briefs I fished it out.

"I call this the space dick."

It lay there in my lap, soft but still hinting at its impressive size. Undeniably the flesh was real, although on very close inspection, some things looked off.

"Now let me just see what we've got here..." Inquisitively, she grabbed hold of it, and began to work it between her fingers. It felt wonderful, even if I knew she was actually searching for clues to whether it was real flesh. I couldn't blame her. This whole situation flunked Occam's Razor, badly. 

Josefina gasped. When I looked down, I realized why. The space dick, which one would be very inclined to believe had to be a packer, was doing something packers didn't do. It was growing, hardening, the flesh shifting and bulging out with veins.

“It’s… real.”

"More or less," I said. And with a thought, I transformed it back into a clit and vulva. Then into a rock hard dick again.

“Unbelievable! Wait… did you just change color?”

I looked down. The turgid flesh had a definite lilac tinge it didn’t have before. “Oh, yeah. That happens sometimes. Regrettably the thing did not come with a manual.”

Which was true. Once or twice I'd passed off the discoloration as 'penazzling'.

"You must be on cloud nine, having that thing."

I grinned. "I suppose so. Now, Ana was very emphatic that the transformations are temporary, and I'm still me. But for the purposes of—"

"Ana? Who's Ana? Your space demon girlfriend?"

"Ana as in 'Anomaly.' They're genderless. And no, it was just a one time hookup. They live far, far away, hidden in that higher dimension. You can't make this shit up."

"Damn," she said, continuing to inspect the hardware. "This place seems so sleepy, then I leave town, and miss all the really weird and exciting shit. You know, another trans girl might be jealous of that prosthetic. Me? I'm jealous you got to fuck a demon! Tell me everything."

"Of course. After we go a round." With that, I reached for Josefina and pulled our faces together. No chaste affair, this second kiss. I pressed my tongue against hers, grabbed a fistful of her hair and gave it a playful tug. In response she moaned, leaned over onto me and I tumbled backwards onto the couch, our lips still locked. My hands groped senselessly at her shirt. The space dick was utterly stiff, and a bit uncomfortable pressed up against the crotch of her jeans.

"Alright, cowgirl, let me see those tits."

Josefina pulled off her blouse and bra, and I raced to undo the buttons of my shirt.

"Oh, hey," I said with a grin. "I think we've officially passed the point that yours are bigger than mine."

She shook her head. "It's the tape," she said, as she began to undo it. "See? I'm actually getting together the funds for augmentation surgery. Just you wait, hon. The next time you see these they might be C cups!"

"Just the same, I'm gonna show them some love." I took a handful of her right tit and brought it to my lips, then shot her an expectant look. 

"Yes please..."

Her smile fell open, and her eyes shut, as I kissed all the way around her breast in a wide circle before softly laying my lips onto the nipple. She shivered when I fluttered my tongue against the tip of it.

"Want me to finger you?"

Already my free hand was slipping under her waistband to cop a feel on that big round butt.

She shook her head. "Not yet. There's something I need to do first."

With a wry smile, she shimmied back so that her plump lips could trail kisses down my neck, stopping briefly to nibble at my collarbone, then continue down to my stomach.

"Damn, Sheldon, you've been working on those abs."

Finally her kisses reached below the belly button, and she had to undo my belt and jeans before she could follow the happy trail down to my pubes. Once again, her hands, and eyes, were on my cock, liberating it from the briefs. My lip quivered as I lay my left hand over hers where it was wrapped around the base of the space dick. Our eyes met. The look in hers spoke volumes. 

"You know, Shel, back in early puberty, when I hadn't made sense of my dysphoria, I would look at my hard-on—it was pretty normal sized, only slightly bigger than it gets nowadays. And I'd think to myself, this doesn't feel right. If I'm gonna have a dick, I want it to be big and beautiful.

"Obviously that's no longer a priority"—she sank lower, and began to plant kisses and little hickies around my inner thighs while she kept one hand on the shaft, rubbing the head with her thumb—"but this dick you've fashioned for yourself... it's just like what I used to want... for my own."

I smirked. "You said you were also a fan of Manny Ferrara, right?"

Josefina snorted.

"Oh my shit, talk about ancient history. I completely forgot about that! Yeah, I guess that's why it looks familiar. The only difference is yours is, uh, snipped."

We both chuckled at that.

"And now... I don't care at all about having it... but I'm fucking excited I get to play with it."

Slowly, but confidently, she began to stroke up and down its length, tugging at the soft skin just hard enough to be intense but not painful. 

"I've given my share of handies and blowies," I said, "but uh... wow." I let my head fall back and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then thought better of it, and reached blindly over my head for a throw pillow. She grabbed one and handed it to me, and I smiled and tucked it in place.

"Well, you do it to yourself for a lifetime, you learn some things."

And here I was very glad for the vantage the pillow offered me. Josefina returned my stare with smoldering eyes. Then, without interrupting her stroke, she leaned down close to my cock and stuck out her tongue, bringing it tantalizingly close but not quite making contact.

"Do it already, you tease."

She beamed wickedly. "Make me, cutie."

"I'm not up to being forceful. But how about this, I'll return the favor any which way you want. Oh... holy fucking shit, that hits the spot."

It was just like she said. I was still getting to know the space dick and its capabilities, but Josefina had a lifetime of experience. Which, evidently, transferred just fine to the alien prosthesis. Her eyes shut beatifically. She didn't need them to know exactly where to lick.

My pelvis twitched and my eyes rolled back as she kept right on stroking, and planted kisses all up and down the undershaft of my dick, with gradually increasing amounts of tongueing. She even nibbled, oh so delicately, at the denuded spot where there ought to be a circumcision scar. And laughed when I squirmed.

"Interesting setup you've got. No balls. No scarring. A little bit of a taint, though..." She began to lick at it with big forceful swipes of the tongue. In concert with her handjob skills, it was shockingly pleasurable.

"Oh, fuck, honey."

"You dare me to suck it?" she said with a grin.

"Do I... Huh?" I was fully given over to her play, which apparently meant the lights were off upstairs if I had to answer the slightest question.

Josefina laughed. "Relax, it was a rhetorical. In no universe was I not going to suck it." She took away the hand on top and began to tongue-bathe, and then suck, alternatingly at my cock. Her other hand worked the bottom of the shaft, and gradually, she shifted it to leave room for her to take more of me into her mouth..

"You don't... have to go that deep," I said slowly.

"Hey, I don't tell you your business." And with that, she quickened her pace. Her hand squeezed the base of my cock more tightly. It was stiff as hell, the head beginning to nudge its way into her throat with each bob of her head.

"It's too much. I think I'm gonna—"

"Hang on!" she said. She took away the hand on top and shoved her face down onto me instead. This, of course, only brought me closer and closer to orgasm, but she kept on pushing, in fact wrapped her hands around my waist, and the cock began to slide down into her throat. 

"Motherfuck. Oh my fucking g-d. Shit fuck!"

Her nose very nearly touched my abs, just as I turned into a twitching, throbbing, writing mess. My hands white-knuckle gripped the back and underside of the couch, as though otherwise I might slip from her grasp and fly away like a deflating balloon.

"Omnmnmn!" moaned Josefina.

I could feel her muscles work, swallowing my spurt. I continued to curse nonsensically, only getting louder as I went from steady orgasmic bliss to frantic post-orgasmic hypersensitivity. Mind utterly blown.

"Stop, stop, I can't! Ohmyfuck."

I sighed. Finally, she'd come up for air. Her eyes were charged with self-satisfied glee.

"And that," she said, "is how you suck a man's soul out through his dick. Done right, he should be drained and begging for mercy."

"I seriously owe you," I said, still panting. "Dunno if I can match that."

"I have faith in you, Shel. But first, take me upstairs and tell me about this demonbabe. I'm sure it'll only make me friskier."