Jade

Jade drives up the block then parks on the side of the street. He takes out his phone and makes a call.

“Jade?” A woman answers.

“Hey, is there any chance you can make some room for me today.” Jade asks.

“How soon are we talking?”

“As soon as possible.”

“Well, my 11 o'clock canceled.”

“Great, I'll take it.”

“Ok, see you in 30.”

Jade pulls into a parking lot and just as he is about to step out, he sees Motema. He ducks, hiding himself until Motema is inside. He sits up and stares at the entrance for a minute before grabbing his phone and making a video call.

“We’re doing a virtual visit?” The woman asks when she answers.

“Tem just walked in.” Jade responds, leaving no explanation.

“And that's a problem because you don’t want him knowing you're in therapy.” she concludes.

“If he knows I’m in therapy then he knows I have issues, if he knows I have issues then he expects me to talk about them, and when I don’t, he’ll leave me.” he responds, talking quickly.

“Well, you could always try talking about your issues.”

“No, you know I can’t do that.”

“I know you won’t. So, why the sudden appointment, what happened this morning?”

“Tem has been dealing with some stuff, so I made an appointment with a therapist for him, at a different clinic, and he got mad at me and made an insensitive comment about self harm. And after all that he showed up here anyways.”

“Ok, and how did you handle the situation?”

“I said I’d cancel the appointment then said I had to run errands.”

“So you ran away.” she gathered.

“Yea, that's what I do, you should know this by now.”

“And you should know by now that running away doesn't fix anything, it only delays the inevitable.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. Whenever I try the words get caught in my throat and I honestly think it’s easier to just avoid issues.” he admits.

“Easier doesn't mean right.”

“I know, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Jade tell me, what are you so afraid of? What do you think is going to happen if you tell him the truth?”

“I’ll lose his trust and he’ll leave me.”

“Wrong, that has happened time and time again because you haven’t communicated.”

“I don’t know, he’d ‘helicopter parent’ me.”

“You don’t sound too sure of that.”

“Fine, I guess, the worst is that he wouldn't care, not really.”

“Like your parent’s?”

“Yea.”

“Maybe if you opened up more you would see your parents do care.”

“Maybe, or-” He stops.

“Or what?”

“Or they’ll see I'm crazy.”

“You’re afraid people will think you're crazy?”

“No, I’m afraid I am crazy.” he corrects.

“Jade, you are not crazy, you are an addict. These things that you experience, the things that make you feel crazy, its withdrawal symptoms. It's a perfectly normal response to getting clean, I promise you no one is going to think you’re crazy.”

“I just don’t want to lose him.”

“If you don’t talk to him that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

 -MIXED-

Jade sits on the couch contemplating on what his therapist said when Motema walks in.

“Hey,” Motema says as he closes the door behind him.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Jade asks.

“I went to speak with a therapist,” He walks over and sits next to Jade, “I’m sorry I blew up on you about it earlier, I was a little harsh. I know you were only trying to help.”

“It’s fine. How was it?”

“It was good, we’re going to start tackling my relationship anxiety next week.”

“That’s good.”

“So what did you go out to do?”

“Just errands.”

“What errands?”

“Just work stuff.”

“Jade, they called your name at the clinic.”

“Oh, well uh, I was going to talk to a therapist about one of my patients.”

“So, why didn’t you show.”

“I decided to just call.”

“Really? You went through all that trouble just to end up calling?”

“Yea.”

“You almost had me, but Jade, I'm not stupid.” “Why didn’t you just tell me you were in therapy?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, out of lies?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m supposed to be your best friend, Jade.”

“It’s not personal, I don’t tell anyone, there’s no reason to, it's not a big deal.”

“So why lie?”

“Because I don’t want it to turn into a bigger deal than it is.”

“It doesn't need to be a big deal, but I would like you to be honest with me.”

“Can we just let this go?”

“I mean, I rather talk about this.”

“Well, I don’t, not right now.”

“Fine.”

Jade climbs onto the couch and puts a hand on Motema’s cheek then leans down to kiss him. Jade leans back against the couch and tilts his head back, digging his fingers into the base of his neck.

“You ok?”

“My back’s been bothering me again, just all the leaning I do between work and, well, kissing you.”

“Aww,” Motema puts an arm behind Jade, “want me to give you a back rub?”

Jade smiles at him, “I would love that.”

-MIXED-

Jade lays in bed watching Motema sleep. He slowly sits up, on the edge of the bed.

two months,

Jade starts to feel pressure on his wrists, as if they were being grabbed. He grabs his right wrist,

I can’t mess up, but, two months,

He tightens his grip

Better now than later…no, I can’t

He looks at the drawer of his bedside table.

but…

{extremely triggering scene taken out, to read uncensored version go to my website at Alextarewriting.weebly.com}

The next morning, Jade’s alarm goes off at 5am. His is silent, set to vibrate only. He dismisses it and sits up on the edge of the bed. Motema’s alarm goes off moments after Jade’s and plays a quiet melody. He sits up and crawls over to Jade. He puts his arms around his waist and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” Jade responds, with a small smile.

Motema leans forward to kiss Jade,

“I’m sorry about yesterday, I shouldn’t have minded your business.”

“It’s ok.” Jade spoke quietly.

Motema smiles and kisses him again, and again, moving down Jade’s neck.

“Um,” Jade nudges at Motema and he looks up at him, “I'm not really feeling it today.”

Motema moves to sit next to him, “you ok?”

“Yea, I just, um, need to shower.”

“Oh, can I join?” he leans in.

Jade chuckles, “I need a little alone time.”

“Oh...” Motema’s tone shifts.

“Not like that, I just, I need to clean up a little.”

“ Jade, I’ve told you a million times, I don't care about that.”

“And I’ve told you a million times I do.'' Jade gets up and stands in front of Motema, putting his arms around him.

“ I’ll take a quick shower, we’ll do breakfast, and then a quickie before you leave for work, ok?”

“ok.”

Jade smiles and kisses him before going to take a shower.

Jade starts picking up dirty dishes off the table while Motema just watches.