"All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast."
Proverbs 15:15
As a child I was very happy, however, when I entered adolescence things changed… I felt more and more insecure, anxious, afraid of what others thought of me and that they didn't like me. So much so that I believed everyone hated and put up with me because I rarely opened my mouth to speak.
I was one more unhappy, depressed and anxious teenager. Desperately looking for someone to save me from myself, I couldn't stand myself, I hated every fiber of my being.
Even though my inner self was begging for help, I wouldn't let anyone help me, I was afraid they would deceive me to take advantage of me in some way. And with that I distanced myself from any breathing creature that dared try to get close to me.
I was so closed that I was unable to recognize my own feelings, people asked me how I was doing and, honestly, I had no answer. To the point of making me doubt if I had emotions, I only realized that I was angry if I yelled and so on.
Anyway, it was hard to make friends and thank God I didn't date, otherwise either they would have done damage to me or I would have destroyed someone's emotional life. My sharp tongue was my greatest weapon, I was always defending myself even from those who weren't attacking me. I was terrified, of what? Of everything and everyone. I just wanted to disappear, hide.
I lived in anticipation of bad things happening, pessimism was my surname! Rarely did anyone see me smiling in good terms with myself and the rest of the world.
That was my reality, my past. Let's talk about my wonderful present, I'll tell you what God has done for me! He completely changed me. Instead of sadness and fear, He gave me hope, courage, strength, joy and confidence to live and even more than enough to share it with you!
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
John 8:36
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