Papaya and I met when we were teens so we didn't actually talk about kids! There were odd "Aw it'd be nice to have kids" or something like that but never a sit down serious talk until we were in late twenties. In hindsight I can see how we dodged the bullet there. Luckily we were both 'could do with it, could do without it' types.

I am now a strong believer that if you know you want or do not want kids, you need to tell your partner as soon as possible. Even if you're on the fence, you let them know and you can gauge how important this is for them.
It's a deal breaker for sure. You can't force someone to have kids when they don't want one, and you can't force someone to not have kids when they want one either.

Of course the main thing is that sometimes you're not 100% sure! And that's okay! I was 60-70%. I was open to having kids. I think my thoughts were "Yeah? It'd be nice?" I know some people say "Unless it's F*** yes, I want kids, don't have them," but I think the important thing is you feel empowered to make that choice. Like no one forced me to have a kid. When times were tough, I never felt resentment towards my partner. I never thought "You made me do this" or "My parents made me do this". Instead it was "Oh damn. This is tougher than I expected!".

I've seen circumstances where one person thought they could convince the other person, or just assumed they would change their mind. And... unfortunately it didn't work out.

So yes! Did you feel strongly about having a kid? Or not having a kid? I hope the conversation went well! It can be really scary to bring it up and good on you for doing it.