Miro leaned back in, smiling down fondly at the show on the screen.
The movie was a classic romance. A movie that always made him smile and laugh. An unrealistic expectation, of course, but still endearing and sweet and one he liked to watch with Kai around because of how grumpy and standoffish Kai got with the romance.
He couldn’t blame Kai. He picked it up every time Kai went through a breakup on purpose. It was about two best friends where one had fallen in love and the other didn’t notice his feelings at all. If that wasn’t an echo of reality for Miro. He didn’t know what else he could parade in front of Kai that could show his feelings better.
‘Like hey, sure that guy dumped you. But you have me. I am right here. I love you.’
‘Maybe if I put it on a shirt, he would get the message.’ He thought.
Kai plopped down beside him on the black leather couch, and Miro took out his headphones, watching Kai carefully.
The sound of the air squishing out from beneath him was the only thing that broke the silence, and Miro glanced up and down, his eyes aimlessly wandering Kai's body.
“Why is it I can't get myself to stop picking all these guys apart? All the people that I am interested in are just judged. It's like I line them up inside my brain and open them up to these harsh standards, judging everything about them before even opening myself up enough to actually get to know them.” Kai groaned.
“I hate watching dramas with you. All the guys are at unbelievable and unattainable levels. Like if they look and act like that. How is anyone supposed to find someone in real life to be happy with?” Kai bemoaned.
Miro tucked his feet beneath his bum before leaning forward. His short side-swept jet-black hair fell into his eyes, and Kai leaned over and swept the hair back in a subconscious gesture. In the process jarring a strand of his own hair free. It hung in front of Kai’s eyes tantalizingly close yet right out of his grasp.
Miro's heart panged, that intense feeling he got whenever Kai touched him fondly, or interacted with him closely. Every time it came at him like harsh waves in the middle of a nine-point-nine hurricane.
'God, Kai, why are you so beautifully daft.'
"Maybe you are reflecting your own state of the subconscious, that feeling that in your gut and head, you know that none of these guys can be right for you," Miro said.
"Like you want to meet someone, but your heart and head already know the risks and you want to change things. You want to become better. But the rest of your real-life experiences about what you already know inside yourself is holding you back from actually accomplishing it."
"You need to let go of your fear." Miro pointed out, gently.
Miro reached out and placed his hand on Kai's thigh, before stroking the top of it to try and comfort him.
He gulped as he focused on that feeling. On that comfortable bond between the two of them. ‘This is what a five-year friendship could breed.’ But this was also what his body craved and desired. He wanted to throw him to the ground and blow his mind. To show him that there was nothing he needed to hold back on. That all the things Kai was picky about were things that Kai, himself didn't possess.
But most of all, he wanted to run his fingers through that silky smooth black hair. Place his body on top of Kai’s and press into him hungrily.
"What if I can't let go?" Kai asked.
"That's not the question you should be asking. The important question is. What is the most valuable thing to you that is holding you back from pursuing your happiness in these relationships? The thing that is holding you from getting attached, that causes the inevitable breakup. Haven’t all your exes stated you seemed disinterested like you didn’t care? Or that other things were more important?”
Kai sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Miro let out a sigh of relief that the itch he couldn’t scratch was abated.
“Yes, but I mean. Like real-time with them. Spend time with them, deep connected time.” He prodded.
“We go on dates. I liked them well enough. What more did they want from me?” Kai groaned.
“Connection.” He said frankly. ‘He is playing stupid on purpose. Why? I can’t do this anymore. He is being such a big baby about this. Doesn’t he see how it affects my feelings? If I can’t even be seen as a candidate for the list; then he should take his list and his grievances far away from my heart. Because this shit is killing me.’
Miro stood up, smacking his hands on his thighs as he did so. Kai watched him.
“Seriously!” Miro snapped.
“That's such a cop-out. Stop it. You are tired of this back and forth, and frankly so am I. I have watched you go through more guys than I can remember their names in the last five years, and none of them have stuck. And it’s not for lack of trying. Some of them really liked you. You have put up a wall. And until you take that wall down and take a good look at why it was there in the first place, then I can only foresee many, many more Sundays like this one.
Except at some point I am going to be the one with headphones because I am already so tired of hearing about this shit, and coddling, and holding you while you ignore how much it hurts me to do so.”
“Seriously, if you ever get tired of being selfish, you should actually watch this movie for once,” Miro said before throwing the remote on Kai’s stomach, it bounced off of it and onto the couch beside him. Kai blinked up at him stupidly. He had fallen over when Miro stood up because he had been leaning on him again. Literally supporting Kai physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Miro pinched his eyebrows together, closed his eyes, and let out a deep sigh. ‘This man is too stupid to ever understand you want more than friendship, and if it never occurred to him, then you never had a chance.’ Miro realized.
“I’m going to go.” He said.
Kai’s arm shot out, and his hand wrapped around Miro’s Miro opened his eyes up and met Kai’s strong chocolate brown ones evenly. Kai pulled.
Before he could think, he was falling. The strength of Kai pulling him forwards pulled him down with gravity.
Miro landed on top of Kai despite trying his best to go against gravity's force. Kai groaned, but it was muffled, and he held it in.
Miro blinked at him.
“Then teach me how to take the wall down.”
Miro’s lip curled instinctively. Despite being where he had always wanted to be, it didn’t feel right.
“I’m no one's second choice, Kai. Are you doing this only because you are scared of what you could lose if you don’t?” Miro asked, frowning.
Kai nodded no slowly.
“Then why? Why do you come to these stupid Sunday movies? Why do you watch the same movie with me every time you break up? Why are you even here?”
“I've never done this in five years because despite it being the only thing I could think about. I couldn’t do it for fear of what I would lose if I did.” Miro blinked.
“Wait a minute, what?”
Kai reached a hand up and brushed Miro’s hair away from his face again gently.
“I've never held you when I wanted to, or reached out bravely and confessed like the boys on the screen. Because if I did then.”
“Then?” Miro asked.
“Then we wouldn’t be friends anymore, and I could ruin what we have,” Kai said, softly.
“I never wanted to be your friend Kai.” Miro snapped.
Kai gazed into Miro’s eyes, hurt pooling in his own.
“Oh.” He said softly, dropping his gaze.
“I've always wanted to be more,” Miro confessed.
Kai looked back up at him. “Me too. But I love the friendship we have. It means a lot to me.”
Miro smirked. “Me too.”
“While I never wanted to be your friend in the first place, your friendship now means the world to me, and I don’t think I would be able to go on without it.”
“But nothing is saying we can’t be friends and something… more. At the same time.” Miro said.
“So let's be something more then,” Kai said, pulling his face close until their lips were touching.
Miro smirked and pressed into the kiss, deepening it and taking control over what he didn’t start. Kai moaned in surprise but then gave in to his prodding. But not without flipping the tables on him a little. Kai wrapped his big arms around Miro and flipped him over. Miro’s body fell into the couch while Kai clambered atop of him, all while not breaking the kiss.
His hand slid down Miro’s chest, and Miro felt a warm shiver of delight cascade down his entire body.
Kai pulled away, breaking the kiss. His lips were puffy and red, and Miro knew he was probably sporting the same look.
His chest heaved as he tried to gulp in as much air as he could. He could tell from the heat and mischief in Kai’s eyes that things were far from over.
He smirked, and Kai pulled his shirt off revealing the abs Miro got to see almost every day. But somehow, this time, they hit even harder than they normally did. The way they contracted and released as he tugged at the fabric. And he knelt over top of him, straddling his hips and riding him just slightly above him in the air. All those muscles seemed new and exciting. Despite how many times he had seen it all before. Miro couldn’t resist the temptation. He reached up a hand and ran his hands across all six of them.
Kai smirked and tensed up so that they rippled and became firmer.
“Oh gross. You egomaniac.” Miro said slapping him gently.
Kai groaned, pretending that it hurt more than it had. A big grin of mischief played across his face.
“Anything else you can’t wait to get your hands on?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows saucily.
“Why, yes, yes there is. It’s a long list.” Miro said, taking the bait, gladly.
Kai laughed. “Well, I guess we better get started.” He said and his hands ran up Miro’s chest, pulling at his shirt.
His head fell and kissed Miro across the stomach and chest until he was planting soft and hungry kisses up his neck and near his ear.
“Are you happy?” Kai whispered while slipping a hand under the waist of Miro’s jeans. Miro’s breath caught in his throat.
“Infinitely,” Miro said, his breath hitching as fingers wrapped around him.
“Who knew we could be happy.” He said.
“Of course, we can be happy. Have you ever seen an ocean without water?” Kai asked.
Miro laughed. “You’re an idiot, Kai,” He said, slapping Kai on the back.
“Yea, but you like that about me,” Kai said, his eyes flashing naughtily before he bent his head back down and kissed his neck while his hand moved back and forth.
“Idiot,” Miro repeated, but he threw back his head and closed his eyes.
*Kai means ocean, and Miro means water
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