"So, boys, have you figured out where we are yet?" asked Mr. Fisher, from atop a a pile of wooden crates stacked in the corner. The rest of us were sitting sprawled around the small room exhausted. J.P. was snoring loudly with his head dangling backwards over the edge of a canvas sack. Brian, Jack and I sat around the center of the room trying to get comfortable on the stone floor. 

     "We're a gajillion miles from home and all you can think about is giving a pop quiz?" Jack asked incredulously. He morphed his hand into a small bean bag chair and put his head on it. 

     "And I believe it was you, Jack, who repeatedly inquired how my quizzes were relevant to the real world. Well, I can assure you, this one is relevant, even if the world in question isn't Earth." 

     "We're all a little tired," I pointed out. "How about a hint?" 

     "No, wait," said Brian, the overachiever. "Didn't the kid say we were on Latrunculorum?" 

     Mr. Fisher smiled at Brian. "Yes, he did, but that doesn't count since knowing that only required listening, not thinking." 

     "The hint-" I prompted. 

     "Wait," said Brian, "I'm thinking." He did this kind of thing all the time at school. Turns out, it's annoying no matter what planet you're on. 

     "Suck up," whispered Jack. See, it's not just me. 

    Brian ignored him and said, "These people are not at war with either the Chatrang or the Ashtapada, so why are they getting their butts kicked? And who is doing the butt kicking?" 

    "You're on the right track. Go on," said Mr. Fisher. 

    "Okay, well, there don't seem to be any Chatrang or Ashtapada around, so it's not like this was one of their planets--I mean, I suppose it could have been some time ago." 

    "A possibility, sure, but try not to confuse yourself," said Mr. Fisher. 

    "Yeah, don't make it complicated or anything," added Jack. Brian and Mr. Fisher shot him matching dirty looks. 

    "What?" Jack said. "Seriously, maybe this just happens to be where a battle took place for no other reason than this is where the two sides ran into each other. When the fight was over, everyone just went home. It's not like there's anything here to stick around for 'cept maybe some firewood." 

    "That's it!" yelled Brian. 

    "What's it?" I asked. "We're on the firewood planet?" 

    "Should have been obvious to us both," Jack said. "Glad I could walk you through the thought process, Brian. Feel free to ask for help anytime." 

    Brian  turned to Mr. Fisher. "And, you enjoy teaching, do you?" 

    "Except for the students. They can be a bit difficult." 

    "Funny," I said. "Fine, so tell us where we are." 

    Brian smiled. "We have somehow managed to crash land on what was once the most valuable planet in the Prince's universe--108WB--the HTS planet. That's why it's trashed. Both sides fought for access to those stones and then split when they were all gone. These people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." 

    We all looked at Brian, but could think of nothing to say.  

I was walking into school with a bright colored umbrella—I think there might have been a picture of a pony on it—when I realized I had forgotten to put clothes on after getting out of the shower that morning. Swinging the umbrella down in front of me, I slowly backed out of the building to the sound of thunderous applause from what seemed like every girl in the school. They were lined up on the sidewalk outside cheering my naked backside. I sat up, instantly awake, relieved to see I was fully clothed. Jack stirred next to me on the stone floor. 

     "You okay?" he asked. 

     "Yeah," I said rubbing my eyes and rechecking that I had pants on. "Just remind me to always bring two umbrellas to school." 

     "Why?" 

     "Just trust me on this one. It's not worth the risk." 

     "Fine, be weird if you want to. Now go back to sleep." 

     As I started to lie back down, I saw something move by the door. A shadow was sliding along the wall toward Mr. Fisher who was sleeping with his back against the far corner of the room. I crawled over to Jack and whispered in his ear. 

     "Someone's here, over by Mr. Fisher. Go block the door and I'll try to grab him," I said. Hey, it seemed like a good plan when I thought it up. 

     "Wait!" Jack whispered urgently. "I have an idea." Before I could say or do anything, Jack extended his arm towards the shadow. His arm was six feet long before I realized what I was seeing. At ten feet, his hand split into a vee shape. With a loud thud the ends of the vee hit the wall, trapping the shadow against the wall by its neck. 

     "Hey!" the shadow yelped. "Let me go!" It was Pion. 

     "What are you doing sneaking around here?" I demanded. He was pulling frantically at Jack's arm, which seemed to be made of steel at the moment. I didn't take my eyes off of Pion, but I could hear Brian and J.P. stirring behind me. Suddenly Mr Fisher opened his eyes and said, "Jack, what are you doing? Let him go." 

     "But, he was-" 

     "Now, Jack," Mr. Fisher said with his teacher voice that could not be questioned. Jack's arm slowly retracted back toward his body. 

     Pion just stared. " You're infected!"

     "No, I'm not.  You're infected,” Jack said, because that’s apparently what you say in response to ‘you’re infected.’

     I had no idea what Pion was talking about, but that conversation was going nowhere.  "Forget it, Jack.  Pion, what are you doing here?"

     He stared at Jack's arm for a few seconds more, then turned towards me.  "Men are coming to kill you.  We don't have much time."

     "What?  Why?" asked J.P.

     "What men?  Why are they coming to kill us?" asked Mr. Fisher, much more coherently than J.P. had.

     "A couple of them were with my dad this afternoon.  They weren't too happy about not getting into your ship.  We needed new supplies.  Instead, all we got was you, which to these men just means more mouths to feed and more bodies to cloth." 

    "So, they're going to kill us?! asked J.P. "Why don't they just tell us to leave. We'll leave. Right guys?" 

    "J.P., we can't leave," Brian said. "Our ship is trashed." 

    "Well, can we borrow one of yours, kid?" J.P. asked, getting desperate. 

   Pion spoke to him as if he were four years older than J.P. instead of the other way around. "There are men coming to kill you over clothes and food and you think they are going to be okay with you hopping back in your extremely valuable, even after the crash, spaceship and leaving? Are you that dumb?" 

    "Actually--" started Jack. Mr. Fisher shushed him with a wave of his hand. 

    He said, "Pion, what about your father? Isn't he in charge here? We could talk to him and explain we plan to leave as soon as possible." 

    Now, this may come as a bit of surprise knowing me as you do, but I have, on occasion done things in my life that my parents would not have approved of. There was, for example, this time Jack's parents were out of town and Brian and I told our parents we were going to sleep over at Jack's and his parents would be there. We downloaded R-rated movies and almost threw up due to the amount of candy we consumed. When Jack's parents came home earlier than expected, the first question they asked was, do your parents know you’re here alone? The look on my face was, I assume, exactly like the one on Pion's face right now. Apparently this expression was also familiar to Mr. Fisher. 

    "Your father doesn't know you are here, does he?" said Mr. Fisher. 

    Pion hung his head, but looked back up quickly as if not wanting to show any weakness. "No. You see he's only kind of in charge. He doesn't want to hurt you, but he can't really stop them either. I just thought, you know, that you should at least have a chance. And if you want to have that chance you better get moving." 

      "I vote we run," said J.P., who stumbled over to where we were talking and gave voice to what we were all thinking.

     "Follow me," said Pion. Before we could ask where we were going, he scurried out of the room like a scared animal and disappeared around the corner.

     "Move, boys!" Mr. Fisher called out, as he followed Pion out of the room and into the tunnel. We hurried after him. Almost immediately, we heard shouts behind us.

     “Hurry!" Pion said, more loudly than he should have. The shouting stopped and was replaced by running footsteps.

     “They’re close," said Jack.

     “This way," said Pion. He ran down a tunnel to our right. The passageway was narrower, forcing us to travel single file. Whatever lit the cavern and tunnels worked here, too, though at a dimmer level.

     “Ow!" Brian called out.

     "Be careful. The walls are very rough and can cut you," said Pion.

     “Thanks for the warning," said Brian, while rubbing his shoulder.     

      "Sure, no problem,"said Pion. Apparently sarcasm was not widely used in this part of the galaxy. 

     "Be careful now. Stay close to the edge. There's a bit of a drop off," Pion warned.

     I was right behind him moving along at a quick jog. Ten paces after Pion's warning the floor disappeared. I expected to feel myself falling through the air at any moment, but a narrow ledge about two feet wide continued along the wall and my feet stayed firmly planted on solid ground. I heard Jack swear behind me.

     "Come on, Pion, a little more warning when we are passing the pit of doom. How far down does that go anyway?"

     "Don't know. Never heard anything hit the bottom. Hurry. They're still back there."

     As if to prove his point, we heard shouting behind us. For no rational reason I had an image of torches and pitchforks. I urged Pion to move faster. We had almost reached the end of Jack's pit of doom, when a roar like a herd of charging elephants suddenly filled the tunnel. Pion disappeared from in front of me. I fell to the floor, covering my head with my hands as rocks cascaded down the walls and into the nothingness below. Someone behind me yelled out and then, silence. I lifted my head slowly and saw nothing but blackness. I thought the lights had gone out, but then with a twist of my neck I realized I could see the walls and large cracks in the ceiling. It had only seemed dark because the path I had been walking on was gone beginning six inches in front of where I lay on the ground.

     "Is everyone alright?" I heard Mr. Fisher ask.

     "A rock hit J.P. on the head, but he's okay, I think," said Brian.

     "How's the rock holding up?" I asked before I could stop myself. Old habits die hard.

     "Where's Pion?" Jack asked.

     "I don't know," I said, immediately feeling guilty for making fun of J.P. when Pion could be hurt, or worse. "He was right in front of me, but the path is gone. What was that noise?"

     "What is that noise, you mean," said Brian. "Listen." Sure enough, like a thunder storm moving away, we heard occasional booms that vibrated the ground even at what seemed to be a great distance away now.

     "I'm pretty sure it's not a storm," said Mr. Fisher.  "We need to find Pion and keep moving." 

     "Does anyone see him?" I asked, craning my neck to look down into the pit below. 

     "It's too dark," said Brian. 

     "Be quiet," said Mr. Fisher. "I think I hear something." 

     "Someone's moaning," said Jack. 

     "That's me," whined J.P. "My head hurts." 

     "J.P., hold your head and your tongue for a moment. Jack, create some light down there, please," said Mr. Fisher. 

     "How?" 

     "Stick your arm out and make the end hot enough to glow." 

     "Oh, right. Okay." A moment later what looked like a skinny lamp post extended from Jack's shoulder down into the emptiness below. The tip glowed white hot illuminating an area about six feet across. It only took a few moments to find Pion. That definitely turned out to be the easy part.