“Come on Kei, you’re our baby!”

“I’m over fucking two thousand years old! I’m so not a baby!”

“You’ll always be our baby.” Hestia coos, softly petting Kei’s hair.

“I’m sorry Kei. It might seem like an eternity for you, but for us the flow of time is much different. It seems like it was only yesterday when we finished creating you. It’s difficult to see you as a teenager? Grown-up?”

Eirene frowned.

“In which stage are you again?”

Kei sighed. “I’m a teenager, thank you very much. But I’m in the last years of adolescence, which means I’ll be a grown-up soon.”

“Geez. How are we supposed to keep up with that? There are way too many stages in a humans life. You can’t blame us for not keeping up with that, baby bro.”

“I hate you, Hecke.”

“Don’t call me Hecke! Bad boy!”

Kei shrugged. “Bad boys are in, what can I say?”

Hestia groaned, leaning against her girlfriend.

“You two are driving me crazy, kitten. What is a ‘bad boy’? And why is it ‘in’?”

“Irrelevant. Kei was supposed to have a lesson with Thanatos after he arrived. I’m taking him with me.”

“Nergal! Is that how you talk to you family?” Hestia cried, scandalized.

“It’s how I talk to you nuisances.” Nergal mumbled, grabbing Kei and throwing him over his shoulder.

Kei snickered, waving at his mothers and sister.

“Thanks daddy” he grinned, “good boy.”

Nergal sighed. “You should remember that I have the ability to let you fail your tests. I also have the ability to talk to Hestia about your little project three hundred years ago. I’d be quiet if I were you.”

“You’re a meanie”, Kei grumbled, snuggling closer to his father.

“What did you say?” Aforementioned asked.

“Nothing, nothing. I didn’t say anything. Please don’t throw me again?”

“Be happy you’re cute.” Nergal grumbled, pretending to let him go.

Kei squeaked, wildly flailing his arms. “I’m sorry, daddy!”

“You better” Nergal grumbles, nodding at Thanatos. “We’re here.”

***

“You still don’t understand me, little one?”

“What did you say?”

“Midget.”, Nergal smirks.

“Daddy!”

Nergal snickered. “I said idiot.”

“Very mature. And I’m not an idiot!” Kei groaned.

“Well, either you’re an idiot or you’re awfully untalented.”

“I’m neither.” he mumbles.

“Rather both”

“Hey! I’m really not! You’re just waaay to bad at teaching, daddy.”

“You might have been wrong, dear friend.” Thanatos grinned. “Congratulations, midget! You successfully mastered the tongue of the Deathlands!”

“He might understand it, but can he speak it as well?”

“Midget? Say something.”

“And what am I supposed to say, dear father?” Kei raised his eyebrows, looking at his father questioningly. Nergal shrugged. “What ever you want, midget, whatever you want.”

“If you manage to say at least one complete sentence in Deathtongue in less than an hour from now, I’ll show you how to storage stuff in one of my dimensions. You’d be able to access it from everywhere…. Interested?” Thanatos said, smirking at him.

“You’ve got yourself a deal!” Kei shouted and gave him a high-five. Well, he tried… Apparently gods haven’t heard of it yet. At least Thanatos wasn’t angry.

“...How do I know I’m speaking Deathtongue?”

Thanatos laughed, slapping him on the back powerfully. And while Kei, indeed, liked flying, this wasn’t exactly his preferred method.

***

It seemed that Kei was able to speak Deathtongue after all. It took him nearly an hour, but hey, at least he managed it.

Speaking Deathtongue was like speaking normally… while sticking your head into a dark and mouldy place that on top of that resonated strangely.

It was easier and way more disgusting than he expected.

Kei, Thanatos and Nergal went back to Hestia and Hekates place and this time, Kei even was allowed to walk on his own. He probably shouldn’t be as proud as he was.

They ate a relatively peaceful dinner before Kei waved his family goodbye, promising to drop by every now and then.

It was already late and Thanatos was a little done with life for the next few years so he promised to drop by sometime soon. Kei didn’t expect him any sooner than in a few weeks.

Nergal hugged him a last time, accompanying to the tree he always went off.

Kei didn’t have one mother, but to him, Nergal was the only real father he had. He would never say the fact out loud, of course. He loved his father too much to lose him.

Arriving home, he realized that his family was exactly what he needed back than. His life was alright before he talked to them, but now there was a smile on his face he couldn’t quite get rid of.