"You look like shit," Ruxie grimaced as their blond friend walked into their classroom on Tuesday morning.

"I know," Ryan groaned, putting his back down with little grace before slumping into his seat behind them.

"You look like you haven't slept in days, dude. What happened?" They asked, eyes full of worry.

Ryan rubbed his eyes as he groaned again, thoughts of the previous night's events clouding his mind. Ruxie was right when they said he looked like he hadn't slept because he hadn't. As much as he tried, all the blond boy could do last night was lie in bed and stare at his ceiling all night long. Under usual circumstances, Ryan would've done his homework, taken a shower and his mind would've been at peace to get him a good night's sleep. But with only one thing on his mind, he couldn't even dare to close his eyes.

Anytime he dared to do so, even for a second, he could only see the gold flecks in Drew’s brown eyes glowing in the light of the streetlamp near his home. He could only see Drew leaning down to press his lips against his. Ryan could still feel the tall boy’s soft lips on his. He still got shivers and butterflies and tingles when he remembered how good it felt to get kissed.

And it kept him up at night, so much so that he was practically walking dead as he came to school. He wanted to feel good about the kiss, he wanted to enjoy all the tingles and feelings that came with it. He wanted to think that Drew for some reason, found him amusing or even cute at a certain point. Because why else will Drew kiss him? It made no sense otherwise.

And he wanted to enjoy the feeling of being liked by the one person he adored. Yet, he still wondered if it was wrong for him to do so.

He licked his lips as he looked up at his friend. He thought about the previous day’s events, wondering whether he should share it with his friend. It was overwhelming, Ryan had to admit. He had spent the better part of his day with his crush and ended up getting kissed by said crush. The only problem here was that Ruxie had no idea that Ryan liked Drew. And now, he wanted to tell them. He couldn’t keep it in any longer.

But the moment Ryan opened his mouth to say something, he saw Nora walk into the class. He instantly pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Nothing too bad, don’t worry. I just had a hard time sleeping,” he stated.

“Dude, what happened to you?” Nora almost screamed at her friend when she neared both Ryan and Ruxie.

“He didn’t sleep last night,” Ruxie answered for him. Ryan gave them a small smile before turning and nodding at Nora.

“Did you stop taking the tea?” she asked, her voice full of concern which made Ryan nod with a slight chuckle.

Of course, thought Ryan. He knew that Nora would bring it up if she heard about him missing sleep again. Ryan had trouble sleeping about a year ago when his father married Dan soon after his parents divorce. Nora had advised him to take Chamomile tea every night before he slept and though it helped him a lot, Ryan stopped taking it for close to six months after since he got slightly used to Dan living with him and his dad now.

“You should really continue. Chamomile does help with sleep,” Nora advised.

“I will,” he said softly as he smiled at her and let out a sigh of relief when his friends didn’t question him further. He couldn’t believe that he had almost let it slip to Ruxie that he and Drew kissed. There was no doubt that Nora would hate him if she ever found out, and while Drew loved and trusted Ruxie, he wasn’t sure he could trust them enough to keep it a secret from Nora.

The three of them were supposed to be loyal to each other. While they had differences - which was no fault of Ryan’s - they still cared about each other. Ryan knew that his friends would see this as a betrayal.

Taking in a deep breath, Ryan tasked himself to focus on school and put Drew on the back burner for now, at least until he met him again or mastered up the courage to text him. They needed to talk, but Ryan wasn’t sure if he was ready yet.

It didn’t matter how ready he was though because the blond boy saw no sign of the tall dark senior in school that day. Nor did he see him the next day. Drew’s absence from school was quite baffling to him, especially when he passed by the boys’ locker room and heard some of the guys on the swim team talking about the upcoming competition. Didn’t Drew have to practice? Ryan wondered.

He stood at the entrance to the gym on Thursday after school, watching as the guys on the team prepared for practice that day. His friends had already left and as was becoming something of a habit, Ryan had lied to them about meeting his other friends on the LGBT club. It wasn’t a complete lie to Nora and Ruxie… yes, there was a meeting, but not one Ryan was attending anyway. He had other plans and those were to find Drew at all costs that day.

He needed to speak to the senior, to at least ask him why he kissed him. Ryan needed to know if there was even a small inkling deep inside of Drew that returned his feelings. Why else would Drew kiss him? People didn’t kiss others for no reason. Boys didn’t kiss other boys for no reason.

Stop it! He told himself, hating the way he was already fantasizing about Drew liking him back when the only reason the senior had talked to him in the first place was to get closer to Nora. Drew wasn’t for him, and Ryan had to accept that. No matter how badly it hurt.

He breathed in and shook his head, frowning at himself for feeling sad about it.. He looked back into the gym to search for Drew, his eyes narrowing when he realized that all the boys on the swim team were there with the exception of Drew and Zane. Which was weird in itself, and it made Ryan worry even further.

Taking out his phone from his pocket, he opened his texts to the boy. The last conversation they had ended on Monday, moments before he had met Drew at Rollies. They hadn’t spoken since the night Drew kissed him, and though Ryan wanted for them to talk about it in person before he sent the boy any text, he decided to go ahead and do so anyway.

Hey…

I didn’t see you at practice today.

Is everything okay?

- Ryan

He sent the message and waited for any signs that Drew had seen it, pursing his lips as he stared at his phone’s screen. When none appeared, Ryan sighed and put his phone back into his pocket, finally deciding it was time to go home. He picked up his book bag from the floor and headed towards the man hallway, only to be pulled by a strong arm into the janitor’s closet at the foot of the stairs.

“HEY! What the fuck!” Ryan screamed as he turned around to face the person who grabbed him, his heart pounding harshly behind his chest. His eyes went wide when he came face to face with bright green eyes that glared at him. “Who are you?” He dared to ask, angry that whoever this stranger was had pulled him away like that.

The tall boy with fair skin and ink black hair stared at Ryan for a moment, almost amused by the short boy’s antics until he seemingly remembered the reason he had put them both into the dark closet. His brows furrowed as he watched those soft blue eyes glare up at him. He pinched the tip of his nose and shook his head as he crossed his arms. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He asked, speaking to Ryan for the first time.

“Excuse me?” Ryan’s first thought was who the fuck is this guy? He had no idea who this person was and the first words he heard from his lips, no matter how soft and pink they looked, shook Ryan to his core. The boy, instead of answering Ryan’s question, only scoffed and shook his head, his hair bouncing gracefully as he did so. And then he smirked, his eyes seemingly looking into Ryan’s core.

It almost made him feel naked.

But Ryan’s eyes widened when he realized who this was. He was none other than Drew’s alleged best friend. “You’re Cain?” He questioned, wanting to be sure.

The black haired boy shrugged and rolled his eyes. “What do you think you’re doing with Drew?” he asked instead, his arms still crossed.

“What are you talking about?”

The tall boy narrowed his eyes at Ryan, looking at him with a glare so potent that Ryan felt the need to take two steps back. He had never seen someone so angry, and the fact that this was Drew’s best friend, or at least someone close to Drew was enough to make Ryan cower, curling into himself.

“Don’t act dumb,” the green eyed boy seethed, his voice hard and livid. “Stay the fuck away from Drew. He’s not the guy for you.” And then he left the closet, banging the door behind him as if to make an even firmer statement.

Ryan’s heart beat even louder, he could almost feel the blood rushing to his head as he tried to make sense of what had just occurred. This was definitely Cain. There was no one else who fit the description Ryan had been given, and the blond boy was sure he remembered what Cain looked like from the few seconds he had seen him.

But why was he so angry? And what did he mean by he’s not the guy for you? Ryan had never been more confused in his life. First, Drew kisses him without warning and now he’s being warned to stay away from Drew?

“What the actual fuck?”

***

Ryan wasn’t completely sure at this point if he wanted to see Drew, let alone speak to him. He was completely unnerved by Cain’s words and as was usual for the overthinker that Ryan was, he let it eat at him and caused him to miss hours of sleep. So now he was walking as slowly as his legs could carry him to his first class of the day, trying not to fall asleep in the hallway. He was only grateful that his friends had gone to class before he arrived at school, or they’d have hounded him for answers that Ryan wasn’t ready to give.

As he neared his class, his phone buzzed in his hands, making him frown. He leaned against the wall as he turned the phone to view the message, gasping when he saw the name on his screen.

Hey - Drew *ice cream emoji*

Holy shit! Ryan thought, his eyes wide and mouth agape as if he had just lost the ability to breathe or speak. He had definitely not expected Drew to be the first to message him after basically ignoring him for four days.

Hi , Ryan responded after two minutes of staring at his phone in surprise. He was late to class at this point but he didn’t even care. He stood by the wall with his phone in both hands, watching and waiting for what Drew had to say.

Um… You got some time?

Can we talk? - Drew

Ryan pursed his lips and thought about it for a second. He could go to class and stew in the slight anger he felt towards Drew. After all, Drew had basically ignored him after kissing him, which wasn’t even Ryan’s fault. So why should he give Drew the easy way out? On the other hand, Ryan was curious, and his curiosity got the best of him because the next thing he knew, he had turned away from his class and was heading toward the boys’ bathroom where Drew had asked to meet him, heart beating loudly in his chest.