Josey wanted to cry. He wanted to cry and to hug Tor and to find this ‘Stubborn Abe’ so he could kick his ass, which was a new sensation for Josey because he rarely felt violent. Tor’s story was so much more than he’d expected and he anticipated there was even more to it than he’d been told.

“And here I’ve been, moping around because my romantic meet-cute didn’t go my way,” he scolded himself. “I could kick myself for being so insensitive! Forget that sappy soulmate stuff I used to fantasize about, Tor needs a REAL friend and by god, I’m going to be the best friend he could ask for!”

When they finished their time in the park and stood up to leave, Josey suggested they go grocery shopping for dinner ingredients and breakfast stuff for two people. 

“Um, I really should grab my bag of things if I’m going to be staying with you,” Tor replied. “I’ll need clothes and I want to make sure no one steals my tent, since it’s a pretty good one. How about I meet you at the grocery store and help you carry everything back to your place?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s probably a better idea,” Josey said, although he had the lurking fear that he’d never see the man again if he let him out of his sight. But he knew that he’d definitely spook Tor away if he acted super-clingy now, so he cheerfully waved him off before going to the grocery store near his apartment building. He took his time in the produce section and the cereal aisle, pondering the options with more care than he’d ever given before. He figured Tor, as a former Army Ranger, was probably into healthy breakfasts, so he got oatmeal; but because Josey was Josey, he also bought a family-size box of Cocoa Puffs. He was almost certain Tor was going to say something about it and sure enough, the man’s eyes alighted upon the cereal the moment he saw Josey step out of the store.

“Really, Green?” he asked, pointing to the Cocoa Puffs. “You think you got a big enough box there?”

“It’ll last a couple of days,” Josey replied with a grin. He couldn’t help the happy ba-thump ba-thump his heart gave when he’d spotted Tor standing outside the doors.

Tor laughed and he took two of the bags from the younger man’s arms, shifting them as if they weighed nothing.

“This is going to be a fun adventure,” Tor said as they started out in the direction of Josey’s apartment. They didn’t talk as they walked the few blocks, but that was fine with Josey. Even when they were quiet, it wasn’t awkward - ‘companionable’ is the word he’d use, as if they’d walked together every day for years and years.

Josey lived on the third floor of one of the city’s older brick apartment buildings. Fortunately, five years before the management company had done a total refurbishment of all the units and so it had all comfort of modern trappings, with the charm of a historic building. Melissa had helped him get a good loan to buy a renovated unit and so the little one-bedroom corner apartment was all his, with high ceilings and plenty of windows to let in the natural light. Josey ushered Tor inside and hurried to put the groceries away in the kitchen.

“Feel free to take a look around!” he called to his guest. “I’ll be with you in a moment!”

“Take your time,” Tor replied, but Josey rushed anyway (and almost dropped the entire carton of eggs he’d just bought). When he finished with the groceries, he found Tor in the living room glancing over a pile of library books on the coffee table. The man had one in his hand and was frowning at it.

“’The Red Badge of Courage’,” Josey read on the spine, and he asked, “Ah, no wonder that one caught your eye. Have you read it? I hadn’t, but the city’s public libraries are commissioning a series of bookmarks based on classic children’s literature for their summer reading program. All the artwork is going to be done by local illustrators and I was invited to take part. I have to submit my book selection by the end of next month and I wanted to read all of the titles before I made my choice.”

Tor shook his head.

“I haven’t read it,” he said. “I know it’s about the American Civil War, but that’s it. What’s the ‘red badge of courage’ then?”

“A bloody wound that proves the main character wasn’t a coward,” Josey answered and at the stricken look on Tor’s face he instantly he regretted his words. He hurried over to take the book and put it at the bottom of the pile on the table. “I probably won’t pick that one, to be honest. I’m leaning more towards ‘The Wind in the Willows’.”

“That does seem more in the style of Joseph Green,” Tor agreed, and Josey was relieved to see the tension ebbing out of the other’s face again. 

“Would you like me to show you around?” Josey asked. “It’s not big, but you should probably know which door is the bathroom and where the washing machine is.”

Tor agreed, and they spent the next few minutes going around the small apartment. Josey regretted that he hadn’t spent more time tidying up that morning before going to work, but then again he hadn’t known Tor would be coming over. Tor merely remarked on how nice everything was, although he gave Josey a smirk when they reached the bathroom.

“Ah, the infamous shower,” he commented. “And where exactly is this peephole?”

Josey winked. “I’m not telling you.” 

Then more seriously, he added, “If you’d like to have a shower now, I can fix up the couch for you and get dinner started. But only if you want to, of course…”

“I know I stink, Green,” Tor said with a grin, making Josey flush with embarrassment. “You don’t have to be so polite about it. I’ve been living on the streets for six months and using the YMCA when I wanted to bathe - I’d love a hot shower.”

“R..right,” Josey said, still embarrassed. “Let me get you a towel.”

With Tor safely away in the bathroom, Josey rushed around to put the spare bedsheets on the couch and start one of the few pasta dishes he knew how to make. He was NOT imagining what Tor looked like in his shower with warm water and soapy suds running down that tall, lean body…

“Oof, if only I DID have a peephole,” he muttered as he pinched himself. “None of that, he’s your friend. Make him dinner instead of being a pervert!”

Josey was able to distract himself from his more lecherous thoughts as he started boiling water and grating cheese. Then he heard the shower stop and a few minutes later Tor came into the kitchen. Josey turned away from the stove to greet him and nearly dropped the hunk of Parmesan into the sink: Tor had shaved off his beard to reveal a square jaw, while his rich blonde hair gleamed with notes of gold just as Josey had expected. Certainly, his face was still a little too thin and his scars were more apparent without the beard (plus the remains of his scrape from earlier in the day), but there was no doubt in Josey’s mind now that Torsten Winters was a handsome man.

“Crap, do I really look that different without the beard?” Tor asked when Josey continued to stare.

“Yes…no! I mean…” Josey cleared his throat. “You look very nice with either…I just didn’t expect you’d shave. You didn’t have to, you know.”

Tor shrugged. “I felt it would be a good change. Isn’t that what the next two weeks are about?”

“Yes,” Josey agreed, and he smiled. “Do you want to help me?”

He gestured to the Parmesan in his hand and Tor nodded. Josey moved to the side so that he could use the grater while he cleaned and chopped some vegetables. Tor watched him work for a minute before he said, “You don’t cook much, do you?”

Josey’s ears turned red. “How could you tell?”

“The way you hold the knife,” Tor said. “You’re going to cut your fingers off if you keep sawing away like that. May I?” 

He took over Josey’s station and cut the vegetables effortlessly. Josey grinned.

“Do they teach vegetable preparation in the Rangers?” he asked.

Tor shook his head with a smile. “We did learn how to use a knife in ranger school, but this is a technique I picked up at the soup kitchen. I would’ve thought that someone who worked in a deli would know better!”

“Yes, well, there’s a reason Sam always put me on the register,” Josey replied, grinning. “Kristy likes to say that if there was a way to burn water, I’d figure it out! Speaking of, can you check the pot on the stove?”

Tor decided to take over dinner prep from that point, which Josey didn’t mind. He stood by to help grab things out of the cabinets and direct the other man to ingredients in the pantry. It was nice to have someone else to share the space; with a tug in his heart, Josey realized this was exactly the domestic bliss that he’d longed for all these years.

“I saw your high school graduation picture in the other room,” Tor said into the comfy silence. “The one with Etta and Sam - is the girl with you Kristy?”

It took Josey a minute to come out of his reverie.

“Hm? Oh yes, the girl with the dark curls? That’s Kristy.” Then he laughed. “She hates that hairdo - she says that getting a perm was the worst mistake she’s ever made in her life. She always turns the picture to the wall whenever she comes over.”

Tor chuckled. “It’s not a bad picture. I can tell how proud Etta and Sam are of you guys. They really treat you like you’re their own son, don’t they?”

Josey knew he should be happy that parents like Etta and Sam loved him as their own family…but there was always that little thread of lurking bitterness whenever he thought about ‘happy families’. It reminded him of cold rainy nights and the smell of the phone booth as he called Kristy, sobbing while he told her that he’d finally been brave enough to speak out and all his fears had come true…

“Josey?” Tor’s warm hand touched his shoulder.

Josey startled.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” he asked, rubbing his hands over his eyes to make sure he wasn’t crying.

“I asked about plates,” Tor said. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes,” Josey said, a little too firmly. Tor frowned, so he added, “I just…remembered something unpleasant. Sorry. It passed.”

Tor nodded, but he was still frowning.

“You know,” he said slowly, “this helping one another goes both ways. If there’s something you want to talk about, I’m willing to listen. Because I DO want to help you…I know we didn’t have the greatest start, but I think that we were brought together for a reason and I regret pushing you away before. I want to give whatever this is a chance, so please don’t feel you have to hold back unpleasant things that are bothering you. I have a feeling I’ll be able to handle your problems better than my own…isn’t that how it usually goes?”

Josey felt his breath catch in his chest and he couldn’t help the few tears that did well up.

“Thank you, Tor,” he croaked. “I would like to tell you…not tonight, because I think today has already been emotional enough for both of us. But I promise to tell you one day.”

Then, because he couldn’t help it, he choked out, “I’m really happy you’re here!”

Tor squeezed his shoulder. “You know what? Me too.”

And Josey believed him.

* * * * * *