I felt the familiar tug. It was ‘the call’… at least in my own mind. Very original. It meant one thing. She wanted me to come right back to home base. Now.

I knew I needed to go back, but I just caught a glimpse of Kat, of her and… and Jane Blackstone and this new girl.

And I didn’t want to go back yet.

So I didn’t.

Not even when they went up the steps of their rental house. Not even when the door closed behind them and they were out of sight.

I nibbled on my fingernail.

Would she come out soon?

Could I speak to her again?

I wanted to talk with her, to hold her hand and smile and forget about them.

But, I knew what would need to be said the next time we met.

Would she leave here if I asked her to?

I couldn’t just go and knock and interrupt them. It didn’t feel right to do that. They might’ve come here just to spend time with that new girl. At least that girl wasn’t on the wall of pictures. Though, there might’ve been a reason behind that. I didn’t want to think too hard on that because then all sorts of scenarios started to form in my mind and none of them were any better than the situation we had right now. In fact, all of them were worse. Like lures and baits. And it never ended well for Kat.

I waited for what felt like an eternity. No sign of them coming out any time soon. No wandering toward the door to chat for another half hour, or opening the door just a bit as they said their goodbyes and got out last little tidbits of information. Not even a glimpse of them.

So, I took that as a sign to head back, even if it only made me feel nauseous.

As I drew closer to their house hidden up in the trees on the cliff, I noticed her waiting there for me. In all my years spent at her side, I’d never received this kind of look. It was full of so much raw fury that I almost cowered. Almost.

But this time, I just stared back, unflinching, stopping in my tracks.

I didn’t even know how long I’d ignored that tug, the call, this time. I wasn’t even sure where it came from or when it started. But she called, and I was supposed to answer. The tug, the call, and go home to her.

And I didn’t obey this time.

And she knew that.

Her foot tapped on the ground a few times before she strode over, her lip curling up further in annoyance as she neared me.

I didn’t back down. I couldn’t…

Even when I saw her shift her weight and lift her foot.

I didn’t try and block the hit that came, sending me tumbling onto the ground. I stayed where I was, my butt and chest aching from the unusually painful contact and the hard ground that hadn’t seen rain in two and a half weeks. She hadn’t pulled back any of her strength on that one.

I sat up with a wavering sigh.

Staring at the ground, I almost felt like another piece of me was shattering, like the stability I’d come to rely on was no longer there as a comfort. I’d come back to this. One mistake, one minor count of disobedience and I returned to this.

Just how long had I known her?

Her father?

How long had I thought of this as home, just because I had nowhere else to go? It had food. Shelter from storms. Water. All I needed to survive was here.

This… it wasn’t home anymore.

Not if it was like this now.

Not if I’d rather be with someone else.

And I did… want to be somewhere else… with Kat.

She wouldn’t hit me unless I was like those assholes who ganged up on her. And I wasn’t. I knew that. I wasn’t like them. Kat didn’t seem to think so either.

But this girl… didn’t she know that the worse I was treated, the more inclined I was to leave?

She didn’t know.

Did she?

After all, how could she know something like that? Something like that would take an actual real conversation between us, which had never happened once.

And this… it was the first time she’d ever hit me like this. It actually hurt to take a deep breath in.

I wanted… to leave.

Now.

More than anything else.

“I can’t bring myself to mess up that damn pretty face of yours. How pathetic is that?” She growled out, towering above me.

I set my jaw. I knew this was coming, deep down, way deep down, I’d known it the second I ignored her call. And it was still this heartbreaking. It was still something I hadn’t wanted to happen.

I’d come back. Wasn’t that enough?

It wasn’t, was it?

It’s not like I was needed. I just made plants.

She was acting like I’d made the ultimate betrayal.

I was only useful as long as she saw a use in me. Like I was a tool that malfunctioned this time.

And my use…

Was running out.

...

I wasn’t allowed inside anymore. I mean, I’d practically been living outside this whole time anyway, sleeping in what resembled a dog house. And I’d tried not to think of what that meant I was to her….

But she did call me Pet.

And now, I didn’t have a pillow or a blanket in there either. She’d taken them back inside when she told me that I was no longer allowed through the door until I learned my lesson. Who knew how long that would be?

Would it be a few days this time? Or would this betrayal punishment last a whole week or more?

I stared at the entrance I’d normally have to crawl through and decided against going in there this time. It would be far too hard in there to sleep. And that encounter stole every last bit of energy I had, no matter the kind. Nervous, hopeful, excited. All of it was gone right now. I was numb and tired and a little bit in pain.

It was fine, I told myself as I wandered through some trees to a grassier spot. It would be fine…

Right?

I curled up, wishing it had been warmer today, wishing I’d have just a small blanket or anything.

If I still had my wolf, this wouldn’t be so hard. I could just shift and curl up like any wild creature and find a more comfortable spot. But that wasn’t the case. I hadn’t shifted in… how many years had it been? How many years hadn’t I been able to hear or see with those enhancements that came to shifters automatically?

Too long.

It had been far too long.

I was just human now, wasn’t I?

Nothing more than a human who knew of a shifter world and had the ability to grow plants. Heck, there was probably even more to my ability if I’d just tried out new things and experimented. But I had too many bad experiences with experiments. What if it was the same? And so what if it was different for my abilities? It wasn’t like I could do much with plants anyway…

Plants were plants.

I took a deep breath.

What would Kat say to those thoughts?

Would she scold me and tell me I was greater than that?

Would she tell me that I was me, with or without a wolf, with or without plants… and that I was worth being around?

Would she take my hand and say it was amazing that I could even do the things I could with plants?

Take my hand…

I remembered the feeling.

I curled my hands together, pulling them tighter to my chest and closing my eyes. I remembered her hand in mine. The warmth and comfort.

I could almost forget that I was outside on a bed of grass, without family or friends, alone. I had no parents. I never knew my father and my mother died so long ago that I couldn’t really recall her face anymore. And it wasn’t like I had pictures. I had nothing, except me, except my life. The clothes and shoes I wore… and that was it.

A whisper of a thought within me lulled me into sleep.

Maybe…

Maybe I had Kat too?

The friendship we had.

Was it that? Or maybe we could be closer than that someday? I wasn’t sure what that constituted, but maybe…?

Before long, I felt my eyes open again. I glanced up at the sky. An hour or two had passed. It wasn’t long, but I was a bit more rested, even if parts of my body that found the ground uncomfortable were aching ever so slightly.

And then I heard it.

Again, within my head.

‘I want to see Noah.’

It was Kat’s voice.

And this time, I was sure. It was real. It wasn’t just my imagination. It was really her. Her thoughts.

And the sound of her voice was like a siren’s call for me, far greater than any fear.

So, I headed to find the source.

I wanted to see her too.